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New
Directions Workshops
Matt's
thoughts (T's)
- - -
What if everything were a lesson?
not some things.
not every once in a while a lesson comes along.
I'm talking about EVERYthing.
you'd better pay attention.
you'd better be on your toes.
you'd better be open and willing to learn.
be prepared, and your chance will come.
---
our niche is every man.
our message is universal.
I am talking about Universal Processes that are true
for all humans, as far as I know. All Americans, for
sure.
Our niche is everybody who's hurting and wants to
learn more.
everyone who's disappointed and wants more out of life.
everyone who's never felt Loved the way they've they've
longed to feel.
everyone who's not willing to settle, doesn't do many
Shoulds, and doesn't want to conform.
I want to talk to people who want to Feeeel.
it doesn't mean you go around crying and/or screaming
and/or acting depressed. (although those are all important
components to the 'I Feel' Movement)
I'm talking about ALL the feelings that are there to
feel.
- Powerful
- Exhilirated
- Nurtured
- Pampered
- Orgasmic
- Wasted
- Amazed
- Baffled
Alive.
your feelings are a package deal. You can't cut off
some feelings with dampening them all… it just
doesn't work that way.
either you Feel or you Don't, pretty much.
either your Feelings are Ok with you, or they're not.
and no fair saiying, well these feelings are Ok, but
these are not.
sorry, it doesn't work that way.
but you can also feel More, and feel Deeper, and feel
Better.
ignite your passion
delve to the depths of your sadness
experience all your fears, your Love, your pain and your Joy, all with equal
intensity and fervor.
When's the last time you took a real Risk, and it
turned out AWESOME?
when's the last time you cried?
when's the last time you got to feel Proud of yourself,
really PROUD of who you are and what you're about?
when's the last time you felt total Clarity. Seeing,
knowing, feeling, believing that what you feel and
what you know is so amazingly True, without a shadow
of a doubt?
These are all Feelings. just Feelings.
Learn about them. Experience them. Allow them. Enjoy
them!
If you learn one thing from me, and only one, please
remember this.
Your Feelings and Emotions are God-given GIFTS to
you.
Please learn to understand them and enjoy them.
they are you and they are life.
it's like a wild animal.
we take it in, we love it,
but we gotta Tame it, too.
we gotta give it Boundaries, and Encouragement, and
Limits
we are Training our animal instincts, our feelings
and emotions, to Behave.
they can still be themselves, and they will be respected and loved.
but they must also Behave. and not hurt anyone. and play nice. and control
themselves.
our Feelings are our Wild Animal inside us
the one who hunts for food when necessary.
the one who will cuddle and love their family
the one who can be strong and lead the pack
the one who can tear you to pieces if you threaten their home or loved ones
We keep them tightly caged, because we fear what they
will do if we were to finally let them go free.
that's wise.
if they haven't been expressed for 20, 30, 50+ years, they might be backed
up a bit and come out with a LOT of force.
that's ok, just be ready for it.
do it in a Safe place.
a place where you are free to really, Really, REALLY Be Yourself.
as ANGRY and PiSSeD and RAGEFUL as you can imagine.
Sad = cry/hurt >>> anger/disappointment >>> more hurt >>> wash
away >>> Peace remains >>> empty spot >>> fill holes
with a Color
Anger = irritation >>> anger >>> hate >>> Rage >>> Punching,
Hitting and Yelling (POWER!) >>> release >>> tears >>> release >>> serenity.
---
Problem: Parents were not equal
____ (husband)
____ (wife)
------------------------------------------
____ (parent)
____ (child)
------------------------------------------
Goal: be equal to, or slightly above
you others
----- ____
you're classy, without being cocky
you're good, without being being holy
you're the best, without putting others down
you can bend down and lift someone up, and even put
them on your shoulders,
or you can kick someone's ass who thinks they're better
than you and needs a lesson.
if you have your Feelings, you have your Power!!
if you have your Feelings, you have your Courage!
if you have your Feelings, you can bring your Best
Game.
if you have your Feelings, you can show up and kick
ass.
after lunch, 11.04.05
---
TCOYF: You can't Heal what you can't Feel.
If you ain't in touch with your Feelings and Emotions,
you are NOT in control of your life and you cannot
heal! How can you feel Happy if you cannot Feel? To
heal you must go inside -- deep inside -- to the depths
of your being. Past the pain, sadness, guilt, anger
and depression to that place where Love, Joy, Serenity,
Passion, Sex and Fun all live. Click in, read on. Love
more. Cry less. LIVE FREE > > >
Ready to Feel Better?
In a series of profound email lessons, we'll show you
how to open your mind and heal your heart as you
discover the beauty, joy and wonder of your feelings
and emotions.
11.3.05 02:34
---
patrick, dude, please don't make this pain an Acceptable
part of your life. there are ways around it. we have
too many tools available to us now that we DON'T have
to live in Pain anymore. get your ass back to class
and let's get working on this.
you've known for some time now that we have the keys
-- please come use them.
--- here's another thing that NDers do… or don't
do….
we don't live in Pain.
sure, stuff gets us down, and as I said, we still have
Issues to resolve.
but we also know that whenever we get stuck, when
we reach a plateau in our growth, feel stagnant or
down or depressed, they know a place where they can
fill up -- fill their hearts with Love and Joy and
Connection and Fun. where they Will be Accepted.
where they can make a difference.
where every body knows their name. and uses it in
the gentlest, most encouraging way you can imagine.
imagine feeling TOTALLY Loved.
imagine OverFlowing with JOY and LIFE!
imagine feeling Accepted and A Part Of and Connected.
sometimes the media cut on and make fun of the Personal
Growth Workshops and therapy in general.
they've got a point… it can seem kinda strange
when you explain in words what we do in class. the
hugs, the holding, the enthusiastic pats on the back.
talking to our inner child. holding hands. yelling
at our parents.
easy targets to make fun of.
but, hey, have you ever felt a real Group Hug?? most
people never have.
Have you? Have ever experienced a REAL group hug?
I have. lots of 'em. and guess what? there is NO FEELING
LIKE IT in the World!
I guess I'm kinda addicted to 'em, as I can't seem to live without 'em at this
point.
sometime in your life, if you've never done a real
personal growth workshop - especially a weekend or
longer "intensive" like ND - you owe to yourself
to experience it first hand.
I'm not selling ND. 'tis true that that is the Best
possible way I can help you, personally. Come do it
if you want to, if we can help, we'd love to have you
-- but there are other ways -- but please GO DO SOMETHING
to learn about your Feelings & Emotions! please.
There are lots of other workshops available. business
is good in a lot of camps.
Here are the ones I've been to, or people I've worked with:
www.HAI.org they don't mess much with the yucky feelings - they go right to
the Love part -- wow. try level 1 someday.
www.GlobalRelationshipCenters.com my first learnings, my first real Feelings,
where Paula and I met, where it all started for me / us.
Here are other ones I've heard good (or great) things
about:
www.LifeSpring.com www.OptionGroup.com www.PSISeminars.com
like I said, please go do something!
easiest, quickest, cheapest way to get started right
now.. Read Doc's book "Taking Control of Your
Life"
http://www.familycommcenter.org/About_FCC/Other_Services/Bookstore/bookstore.html
---
"
When we feel stuck, going nowhere -- even starting
to slip backward -- we may actually be backing up to
get a running start."
- Dan Millman
---
since I took my keyboard apart the other day and cleaned it, the . key hasn't
been working properly and this has been interesting for me
to get it to work, I have to SLAM the . KEY harder….. whap, whap, whap.
it builds tension.
irritation.
tick (doesn't work) so Wham. (that works, but it's
irritating and requires more energy and constant problems).
pushes me to do an undercurrent of anger
if I remember, however, and think of it Before I hit
the . key, I hit it harder.
in fact, I'm finding that I hit the keys harder in general
and my keyboard likes that.
and maybe it's what I need.
like a push to build some Attitude, and that Edge I need to be BIG.
that is what I want.
no fooling about it.
I want to talk to a LOT of people.
I am NOT Ok with talking to a few people.
I have a message that will not be denied.
I will not give up.
I am not developing it to fill a Demand.
The Need exists, they just don't Know that it Exists.
I can't find a Hive.
Help me find a Hive.
I will NOT be an Ambulance chaser.
oh, I think that's really holding me back.
I don't want the sick and mentally ill.
I want to work with people who are hurtin', but functional.
I want to talk to the walking wounded.
I want people who have jobs, but they're hurtin'.
and they know it.
and they want to Reach out.
there's a whole Reaching out thing.
they don't know:
c. who to reach out to
b. how to reach out (except for maybe therapy and medication)
c. That Reaching out is even an option.
d. in some cases, even that the concept of Reaching out even exists
it's not that the Demand isn't there,
they don't know that there's a Solution to what's bothering them.
some know that something's bothering them, but they are clueless that there
even IS a solution
they are not Looking for help with their problem
because they don't know that Help even Exists.
and some don't even know the Problem exists.
many don't know that they are angry or hurt, and that they could choose to
Not feel angry or hurt.
many are shut down and depressed.
but they don't Feel shut down, because they don't Feel… period.
they often find that they were shut down AFTER they experience what's it's
like to NOT be shut down for a moment.
I believe that people have NO IDEA how much cooler
their lives would be if they had their Feelings Toolbox
ALIVE and WELL!!
I believe that people DON'T WANT TO ADMIT TO THEMSELVES that they are as unhappy
as they are.
I believe that people have no idea how VERY ANGRY they Really are.
some people know they're angry.
they don't know that there's Relief available.
they don't know that TAKING CONTROL of their Feelings really IS the key to
Happiness.
Happiness IS a Feeling.
How could you feel Happy if you don't Feel?!?
Feelings are the key.
Feelings are the Joy.
Feelings are LIFE!
You can't cut off one feeling at a time. They ALL
Go.
it's a package deal.
you cannot feel your Joy and your Love and your TOTAL
ALIVENESS.
if you are not willing (or know how) to feel your Anger
and your Sadness and your Fear.
of course Fear is scary.
by definition. the answer is in the question.
there are plenty of things that are ALL AFRAID of, not having enough, not being
enough, people leaving us, being alone, being attacked, ourselves.
no wait. We DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID of ourselves.
we can LEARN ABOUT ourselves.
and Enjoy ourselves.
and our Fears.
and our Angers.
and our Sadness
and our Guilt.
of course you're Afraid of your Anger.
we all are. Society doesn't know how to handle good clean Anger, so they squash
it.
and our parents taught us over and over that Anger is NOT OK, in any form.
THAT's the Difference between ND folks and non-ND
folks.
We ENJOY and ENCOURAGE our feelings, they Avoid them like the plague!
THAT's the difference.
Having our Feelings be Ok works in so many ways
we not only don't avoid our feelings, that's about ALL WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT!
why? 'cause that's all that really Matters, that's why!
---
we need to talk to people who:
have a problem and know it and believe there is something
they can do about it and are actively doing something
about it and are actively seeking personal growth
help
don't have a problem -- great
don't know you have a problem -- not sure it's my job
to enlighten them, but maybe
don't believe there's hope -- yikes. there is. there
really is.
aren't doing something about it -- well, that's another
part of the problem (shame, low self-esteem, abandonment,
ignorance)
aren't seeking personal growth help -- HELLO! We are
the cheapest, fastest, most effective, life-changing,
love-creating, self-esteem building form of mental
health known to man!!
---
Ha. it finally came to me. just now.
I've been watching us long term NDers who are usually
waaaaay Happier, often more successful and certainly
more ALIVE and FEELING than our counterparts and
I keep wondering,
What's the Difference between NDers and non-NDers?
What is it the one thing that ND teaches that is so
Effective and so Important?
what is it that sets us apart?
what is it that works so well and has changed mine and so many other people's
lives over the last 18 years?
I mean, we're certainly not perfect.
we still hurt.
we still mess up. we still make mistakes. we still
have unresolved Issues.
we still hurt and we still get hurt. we still fail
and we succeed. we still cry and we get angry.
and just this morning at 04:33 on 11.1.05, I realized
what it is.
it's kinda subtle and kind slippery, but here goes…
the difference in long-time NDers is that while most
people try to Avoid their Feelings in various ways,
NDers ENJOY AND APPRECIATE THEIR FEELINGS!
We know that Feelings are a GOOD thing, not a bad
thing.
We know that our Feelings DEFINE us -- who we are,
what we want, what we don't want.
We know that if we Accept our Feelings, we are Accepting
Ourselves -- and Oh, self acceptance makes more difference
in our daily life experience than anything on the planet
! ! !
We embrace our feelings, and thus we can understand
and accept the feelings of others.
we are good listeners.
we are easy to get along with.
we make good employees and managers, leaders and followers
we can be and usually are straight-forward, up-front,
and eye-to-eye Honest
… all just because we know what we Feel, who
we are, and what our Intentions are.
Our Feelings are our Personality.
Our Love.
Our Passion.
Our Joy.
Our Feelings are our Lives.
what's more important than that?!?
Of course that's all what we want to talk about!
of course that's why we want our loved ones to come
to class and learn what we've learned.
of course, that why we "go there". often.
as deep as we can. to come back renewed and refreshed,
sometimes NEVER HAVING TO GO THERE AGAIN.
we understand the Keys to Happiness.
we know that the simple act of Dealing directly with
what's really, Really, REALLY PISSING US OFF, is the
key to relieving our Anger and allowing more Peace.
we are wise to the fact that Talking about, experiencing
and allowing our Fears is the fastest, simplest, most
effective way to Lessen and Relieve our inner child's
pain and our adult's vulnerabilities.
we understand the connection how our Personal Power,
our Courage and our Self-Esteem are all directly based
on our ability to Understand and Manage our feelings
and emotions.
we know that we have Choices -- we always have choices
-- sometimes lots more than many people believe we
have -- in how we deal with situations and relationships.
...and we understand and appreciate the importance
of People in our lives. people who are safe for us.
people who love. people who can accept love and give
love in a clean, honest, value-for-value relationship
where everyone wins.
and we know how to Not Feel Alone, ever again. (once
a graduate, always a friend http://Groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
).
yes, in this case there are subtle differences between "them" and "us".
the "haves" vs. the "have nots".
the "educated" vs. the "ignorant".
but these subtle, intangible differences can mean
the difference between life and death, between divorce
and marriage, between happiness and depression, between
a life filled with joy and Love or a life torn by guilt
and shame.
The tools are all free Please use them.
- Matt
after-thought: if you see a picture of an NDer and
a non-NDer standing next to each other, they probably
both look Ok and they're probably both smiling. but
it's likely that the NDer will have just a bit more
glint in their eye, a bit more Pride in their stance,
a bit more openness and love in their eyes and a bit
more Joy behind that smile.
that's why I keep buggin' you guys about coming back
to class.
come Assist. it's still free. If you can't make it
all weekend, we'll work with you. just come. please.
everyone wins when you show up. please join us.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
Nov. 11-13, 2005 Fresno, CA
---
this is a coastal tourist town with hundreds of small
lodgings but no mega-corp hotels, 2 story or less.
Most motels on the coast have only 25-50 rooms, so
be prepared to have your team stay in several locations.
No one will be very far away. There are also three
State Parks in the area, all with showers and hot
water that can be reserved. Finally as a last resort,
CDF operates the Jackson State Forest, which is 5
miles from Fort Bragg next to a clean beautiful river
under the redwoods where I work everyday. It has
65 primitive campsites (fire ring, outhouse, picnic
table) all free. I reserved 15 large campsites near
each other at Wagon Camp for Skunk teams every year.
Click on link above, and look at the locator maps
for directions.
http://www.mendocoastsoccer.org/listings.htm Tess A-S
---
How about these at the bottom of the letterhead?
"You can't Heal what you can't Feel!"
and
"
If you know what you feel, you'll know who you are and what you truly want."
---
6 Steps to Feeling and Healing
1. KNOW that you feel and Know what you feel.
2. ACCEPT all your body's feelings and emotions.
3. EXPRESS yourself in empowering, healthy ways.
4. RELEASE old, yucky feelings from your past.
5. REPLACE with positive, happy stuff.
6. REJOICE as you re-build your Life -- Your way!
updated 10.25.05:
---
"
Denial is a luxury that I can't afford."
- mcp
---
Doc, here's something I believe could help change the world...
Let's develop the concept of Self-Processing.
Take most any "issue", accept it, learn
from it, feel it, release it and replace it.
and if you need some help in getting the big feelings
out, call a friend for a session of "Bullin' ".
when 2 are more are gathered in the name of emotional release and enlightenment,
God will be there, the universe will conspire to assist you and healing will
begin.
---
you're never really alone anyway.
ask your Higher Power for assistance, guidance, love, compassion, understanding,
...
---
we need a sexy name.
a nonsense name that is easy to remember but elicits the right feeling about
us.
Aviana, Alomda
Emotiana, emo-aitia
Ofallo, opus,
Unicorsary, Unobradly, Uzamba
I... (nope)
---
new entertainment "clubs"
get to know each other
take clothes off
admire and honor each other
have the most amazing sexual experiences
why not?
---
To be a therapeutic person, to ourselves!
1. How to be there for yourself and others.
2. How to connect with yourself and others
3. How to love yourself and others
how to Listen to ourselves, be there for yourself.
the ability to put our needs aside, just for a few
minutes, to Totally be there for others.
we can also do this for ourselves.
teach, teach, teach
write, write, write
---
Hey John: great post re: apologizing! I totally agree
that we give up levels of closeness and intimacy in
exchange for safety and niceness and pleasantries.
the only thing I don't agree with is the "Don't
apologize! Period!" was NOT the point... only
to not apologize for being you.
I carefully worded some of that post to things that
we don't need to apologize for... but there are some
things we very Definitely need to apologize for, quickly,
honestly and sincerely.
I believe that some of the hardest, and most important,
words we can ever say are:
"
I love you" and
"
I'm sorry."
neither should ever be taken "lightly" as
they are windows to our soul.
imho, that saying "Love means never having to
say you're sorry" is pure Bunk. "Love means
saying you're sorry pretty often." and meaning
it. and taking responsibility for our actions. and
being involved and concerned about others.
If we hurt someone, we apologize.
If we accidently step on someone's toes (emotionally
or physically), we apologize.
If we 'assumed' something incorrectly, and it hurt
someone, we apologize.
If we didn't keep our word, we apologize.
If we realize that we let our childhood Issues guide
us, rather than our true, grounded self, we apologize.
Yes, 'tis true that we are responsible for our feelings,
and we cannot cause someone else to hurt (except physically),
but in order to build Trust and safety and togetherness
and closeness, we GOTTA apologize.
the key is Balance (as usual). and the lesson here
is "What is my problem, and what is not my problem?"
any other comments anyone? Shannon and Grizzy, you
guys used to apologize for all kinda things that weren't
yours to apologize for... me, too. anyone else?
- Matt
10.22.05
---
Desires of the body include life itself -- air, health,
water, food, clothing, shelter, emotions, sexual pleasure,
rest and exercise. Desires of the mind include succeeding
in life -- status, accomplishments, self-esteem, success,
control, power, self-righteousness, aesthetic (visual)
pleasure, knowledge, marriage and family.
- Sabrina
---
Abundance, to me, is about having Plenty.
Plenty of time.
Plenty of money.
Plenty of roots.
Plenty of friends.
Plenty of love.
Plenty of passion.
the areas where I have Plenty, are quite wonderful. Abundance, to me, is about
having Plenty in ALL areas of life.
thanks, Catherine.
---
Accepting your Feelings = Accepting your Self!
---
there are specific self-esteem issues.
may feel great about your mental skills, academically
while feeling dirty and gross, emotio-physically
---
it's not that ND folks are always Nice and loving, we're not.
it's not even ND folks are always clear, and open, and doing things in the
healthiest ways.
it's that ND folks are AWARE of it all.
We know when we're being angry.
We know when we're being an ass.
We know when we're being codependant (or other misgiving)
but we are AWARE of it.. and therefore we can do it different when we want
to
THAT'S being In Control of your life...
living in the moment, alive alert and aware, knowing what's right and wrong
and knowing ourselves.
---
Awareness -> Choices -> Freedom
I know what I feel I know what I could feel I am free to choose my reality.
- - -
most help passively. they agree, tho quietly
and unobtrusively, and at differing levels of commitment.
but there are a few, a chosen very few, who will be Active
supporters.
I didn't follow anyone… but bits
and pieces of lots of people / examples.
I look for energy, not so much content.
If I like your energy, I can shift my focus to actually
be Interested in your content.
I may feel them, in a way that feels good to me, that
I can resonate with, and it may be that and only that,
from them. and will be forever in their debt.
like coach t, or MP, or andrea, or Marion, or Dave B.
lisa and andy and ramon (wow, we were similar, like Dave
Lyman and I -- ouch ;-)
mean well, but come across all wrong.
---
ND's Statement of Direction
I am through being a Victim;
and finished Blaming others, and myself.
NOW WHAT?!?
Even though I am Afraid,
I am turning my Anger to Love,
my Sadness to Joy, and
my Depression to Personal Power.
Now I Choose to Feel ALIVE!!
---
Spinoza the Bear says,
"
You are all you need to be."
---
"Blaming others causes anger and guilt.
Blaming yourself breeds shame.
- pkp
sent 10.17.05 to all NDers for 2nd round of feedback.
---
I've learned to deal with my adhd fairly well, becoming
totally absorbed in 1 subject at a time, then come
back if needed to finish . but Finishing things is
still one of my weak points. darn.
---
You BAAAAD! Way to go, Shannon.
let's keep that in a file of Dating stuff.
that's one of the 2GetHelp concepts I want to Teach
about.
how to Date.
who to date
who not to date
how to have the tough conversations
as Dr. Phil says, "how to ask the hard questions".
what to ask
that's what people want to know, and need to know.
how to live (in effect)
when we can successfully write this stuff down, in a way that people can easily
grasp the concepts and the importance, we're gonna change the world.
we are so on the cutting edge of this stuff, you watch.
Grizzy and Shannon, if you could write down some about your Relationship, that
would be awesome.
you guys TOTALLY, 100%, out-of-love, support each other thru thick and thin.
it's so cool to watch you two together.
so how do you to that?
what do you think about, or feel, when you picture each other?
when one of you is down, how do you support them?
when one's going thru a seriously painful growth spurt, how do you Be There
for her?
when you both feel trashed, what's your attitude?
Love first, right?
People don't know HOW to do these simple life skills.
it's not their fault, they (we) were never taught.
so, that's our job. to teach them. to show them. to do what we're doing on
the boards.
and you two are a big part of that positive energy that abounds there!
how's it going with Silent Storm now?
How was it on the phone with her last Wednesday?
this seems like simple stuff we're doing, but I can tell you, we are doing
things that people would LOVE to be able to do, but can't... 'cause they don't
know how, and worse, they've never seen it done, so they don't even know that
the concept Exists!
We KNOW we are loved, by each other.
We Know we are ok, at least with somebody.
We feel OK that we Feel, and therefore Ok with who we are.
We go for MORE Feeling, not Less.
(how dumb is it to "numb your feelings", when they're the Funnest,
most Passionate, most Loving thing in our Lives?!?)
numbing ain't the answer... Dealing directly with them, is. Know what you feel
and You'll know who you are and You'll know What You Want!"
We are to be the positive Role Model that people need. as much or more than
Teaching, we need to Show them how it's done. The big risk for us to be willing
to do it Publicly. and I think we are doing just that. both of you are wonderfully
Open about your issues. I try to be, too. you can ask me anything about any
issues... be happy (or sad or angry, or whatever my body currently feels about
that issue) to talk to you about each and every one, if you think that might
help you.
being willing to be open, in public, is huge.
not names and addresses kinda open,
but open with our Issues, even the ones we're not too proud of.
thanks you guys. your relationship and your growth has inspired Me to show
others how it Could be to be a "good friend".
and again, way to go on your date, Shannon. beautifully handled in every area.
- Matt 10.17.05
---
Deep Feelings
that's what we do.
Yes, that IS our niche.
We're not ambulance chasers… we're offering help to the Really Needy.
the hard cases.
If you're really Angry, and you know it, and you're ready to get off your ass
and DO SOMETHING about it, then Let's Talk.
but not until then.
If you think that you were abused, molested, beaten, abandoned, rejected, raped
or whatever, and you are NOT ANGRY about it, then you are in for a rude awakening
some day.
I'd say that list covers like 3/4 of the US Population, wouldn't you?
We have been hurt, people.
We have been abused.
We have been abandonded.
We have been used.
We are Angry, and we don't know what to do about it!
I will spare you the actual numbers that I've read, because they're just estimates,
because there's no way anyone can know what happens behind closed doors.
The anger is there, trust me, it's there. Until you've consciously gone back
and dealt Directly with the traumatic emotional episodes from your childhood
(or adulthood), they Will come back to haunt you. If fact, if you are really
honest with yourself, you know they already have.
If you are aware that you have either Emotional Issues, or unresolved Feelings
from your childhood, we can help.
There are a number of ways 2GetHelp with your Feelings & Emotions
The baddest, fastest, most effective start to it all is our intensive weekend
workshop in California. www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
It's $299 for the weekend, and you probably have to travel to Fresno, but let
me tell you, you will never be the same again.
You will experience your Feelings & Emotions
You will "find" a whole other side to you… a deeper, richer,
passionate side to you.
and you will like what you see.
ND people like themselves.
I've been trying to see what it is that makes us different. We still feel,
and we still get stuck, and we still have Issues, so what makes us different
than everybody else? what
We feel good about Ourselves!
We Accept out Feelings, therefore we accept Ourselves -- period.
If you're Ok with your body's Feelings and Emotions, you're Ok with YOU!
Your Feelings ARE You.
They show you what you Love.
They let you know what you Hate.
Feelings = Life!
check this out…
So many Katrina victims were left with what? NOTHING. Absolutely, 100% Nothing
but the clothes they were wearing. no possessions (can you imagine?)
(write article called "Imagine No Possessions")
---
"
Imagine No Possessions"
So many Katrina victims were left with what? NOTHING. Absolutely, 100% Nothing
but the close they were wearing.
no possessions (can you imagine? I wonder if you can)
but were they?
What else did they carry with them, no matter where
they went?
Their Spirit.
Their Feelings.
Their Values.
Their Personality.
Their Memories.
Their Beliefs.
Their Morals.
Their Soul.
and
their survival skills and tactics.
their sense of Personal Power
their Love and their loss
and their sadness and their Joy
and that they CAN Make it through, no matter what.
and their Wits.
and their Judgements.
and their
I'm way more concerned about Who you Are, then what
you do.
My daughter is very aware of her feelings.
she is independent and powerful and full of life
and many find her a joy to be around.
if she had to Survive somewhere, somehow,
she'll be scared, but she'll be aware of being scared. and able to manage it.
she knows how to use her Anger to cover her Fears.
she know how to push herself when needed.
she knows how to deal with people, whether nicely or harshly, to make sure
she gets what she needs.
and much of that, I believe, is because we talk about
Feelings in our house.
she knows her feelings are ok, so she knows that SHE is Ok.
please deal with your own feelings, so you can help
your children deal with theirs.
How can you help your angry teenager, when your own Anger scares the hell out
of you?
How can you expect your child to feel really Loved and Cared for, if you've
never felt it in your life?
How can you get across to others the depth of the feeling you have for them,
when you're afraid of your own feelings?
Learn to use your Feelings as a Tool, even a Weapon,
when needed.
(hint, you may find yourself in situations where they are your greatest, and
sometimes your only, weapon)
---
take your weirdest foibles, protections, masks, and
make them into Tools to use. that you're Already
good at using.
let's see what they are, find their uses (which there
will be some Important ones) and Spin It, so that rather
than an "issue" or a "weakness",
it becomes a Tool, a potential Weapon, to be learned
about, respected and trusted.
figure out your Goals and Intentions, and what's most
important to you, and go there. make it happen. don't
let anything, or anybody, stop you!
life is hard. no shit.
do it wisely, get some help!
you may think you're too Baaad for this touchy-feely
stuff, but guess what buster, guess Who's In Control
of your life? You or your Feelings?
Is your Anger getting the best of you?
Are you sick of trying Not to be Angry?
are you afraid of your own anger?
so you're angry, so what? Join the club, dude.
we're all angry.
and frankly, one of my jobs is to help people who
think they're NOT angry, find out that they really
ARE Angry… because WE CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT
OUR ANGER! If you really are not that angry, that's
fine, but you'd better learn how to Manufacture some
Anger… or something… we need it.
---
Formal Training on Teamwork
…
group sizes of 2 and 3 experienced little or no benefit
from the team training I provided. HOWEVER, the teams
of 4 that received my training did EXCEPTIONALLY better
than the groups of 4 that received no training.
---
Our model, by New Directions Program
http://www.newdirectionsprogram.com/ourmodel.html
our program will need to do more Assessments, in different
Phases of healing
Awareness
Acceptance
Identification
Expression
Release
Replace
Rejoice
---
Physiological arousal accompanies all emotion.
http://www.alleydog.com/quizzes/motemotquiz_2.asp
---
according to both James and Lange (the two actually proposed the same theory
at approximately the same time which lead to the name, James-Lange theory of
emotion), emotion occurs because our bodies automatically respond to environmental
stimuli (like the presence of a bear). We then interpret this physical response
into some subjective emotion. So, something in the environment occurs, our
bodies automatically respond to it, and then we perceive some emotion in response
to the physical behaviors.
so some of our emotions are Innate, and some are learned.
while the rest are "created", or Learned based on what we thought
the meaning of the situation was/is. (like feeling angry for an injustice or
abandonment)
a few are primal, natural, automatic, autonomic (like fear of loud noises or
high places, the only 2, according to Doc, that babies are born with)
---
Lepper, Greene, and Nisbett (1973) assigned children who enjoy drawing pictures
to either draw for fun or draw for reward groups. What they found was that
children asked to draw for reward began considering drawing as work instead
of play that was enjoyable. Originally, drawing was intrinsically motivating
to all the children (the drew because they found it fun). But since they were
now getting rewarded for drawing, the children in the reward group eventually
found drawing extrinsically motivating since they were getting something in
return for drawing and you get rewarded for work, not play.
http://www.alleydog.com/quizzes//motemot-exp.html
that means that Paying someone who at first Volunteered, is probably a bad
idea.
---
A large part of emotional suffering comes from our inability to see clearly
into the nature of our internal conflicts and the nature or reason we are in
conflict with others.
in other words:
We must know what we are in control of, and what we are not.
We must know what IS our problem, and what is NOT our problem.
We must be in control of our Shoulds and our Belief systems.
We must be AWARE of what we feel and be able to manage it.
---
Areas of concern, per www.4Therapynet.com
Sometimes the signs that can alert you to problems can be hard to recognize
because your behavior has become so familiar. Our easy-to-take, confidential
self assessment tests have been designed to help you become more aware of any
habits, attitudes or symptoms that might indicate the presence of certain conditions.
Are my spending habits out of control?
Do I drink too much?
Do I have symptoms of an eating disorder?
How do I handle social situations?
How healthy is my attachment to my partner?
How well do I balance my work and personal life?
Is anxiety a concern?
Is it depression?
What's my stress level?
---
Take Control of Your Feelings and Emotions
Life-Changing Personal Coaching Program
by the end of this program, you will be able to:
Know what you feel, and Accept your feelings and your
self
Feel and release your negative feelings, while you
encourage and create more positive ones.
Manage your feelings and emotions in productive, healthy,
loving ways.
The 90-day Growth and Awareness Program
Taking Control of Your Feelings: Identification and
Awareness
Assessment
Doc's Book: "Taking Control of Your Life"
Private Coaching call: intro and direction
CIS Backgrounder
ND Class Weekend: Nov. 11
Now What?!?: Feeling and Healing
3 private Coaching calls
Weekly support group calls - on Wednesday nights
Weekly Huge group meeting
ND Class Weekend - review Feb. 3
Follow-up private Coaching call
Once a graduate, always a friend
Ongoing support and follow-up
Learning how to reach-out and "be there" for
others
Opportunities to make new Friends that are on a similar
path
Assisting at ND: May 5 and beyond
Get yourself, or a family member, a wonderful christmas
present this year!
about: $675 (with money-back gaurentee)
---
taking apart our painful childhood, healing the scars and cuts, and replacing
it with power, love and joy for a wonderful adulthood.
---
Have the team be a team, even when the leaders aren't there.
now That's a team!
---
What unique ability will you be bringing to the table?
As lead instructor for the life-changing breakthrough New Directions workshops
for almost 20 years, I bring a unique blend of Realness, Openness, Power and
Humour to the table. I have done a LOT of work in these classes, and I've worked
personally, face-to-face and eye-to-eye with a LOT of people, so I understand
feelings and emotions better than most.
I am compassionate, supportive, kind and loving.
but I am also aware of my power, my anger, my defenses and my weapons (and
know how to use them, and as importantly, when not to use them.)
I am big, and strong, and I can probably kick your ass.
I play racquetball like a maniac… not out of control, but I can push
myself to my 100% when needed and my body is fast enough and practiced enough
to beat most challengers.
---
3 Indian Gods
A god of creation
A god of destroying
A god of maintaining
And in our lives we need to be the President of all 3
- MP
---
home-based business owners
my market is people who Want it, not messing around.
www.MultipleStreamsTeam.com
www.AndreaRecommends.com
Candy@msoci.com
---
Like any good relationship, our relationship with ourselves
needs boundaries and rules.
Rule 1 - I am Responsible.
--------------------------
I take full ownership, control and responsibility for MYSELF.
My body, my behaviours, my spirit, my words, my actions -- all of it.
If it came from me, even unconsciously, I am responsible.
I feel I can adequately Protect myself and my family,
I am mature and act like a responsible Adult,
and I can still allow the Child in me to laugh and play, in awe at the wonder
of it all.
Rule 2 - My body is Mine!
-------------------------
No body touches me nor 'possess' any part of my spirit, brain, heart or any
other part of me, without my express permission.
I don't do other people's Shoulds unless I agree with them.
I don't carry other people's voices in my head.
I don't run my life to please, or irritate, anyone else.
I am not the victim in any area of my life. (but if I am, let me know gently
and I'll endeavor to change it.)
I love who I love and I think what is right for me and I act and feel accordingly.
no one stays in my heart, or my mind, without my
permission.
Rule 3 - I will Love first and always.
---------------------------------------
Love because it feels good. Love because you want to. Love because there is
no other way to live.
If Love underlies everything you say and do, you'll never feel alone again!
Love connects us.
Love creates us.
Love IS us.
and we are Love.
(my mom called us the "Huggy Bunch" today... I like it)
Rule 4 - I will be Nice. And keep being Nice, until
it's time to Not be nice. - Patrick Swayze as Dalton
in "Roadhouse"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's Ok to be a nice guy, as long as we know how to fight, too. Fight only
when absolutely necessary. Be slow to anger, but when enough's enough, be ready
to attack with fury and purpose from the depths of your core. Fear no one,
as you can access emotions and power within your soul so deep, and so powerful,
mountains tremble (whoa!). You get my meaning. Be nice. but have your Anger
tool right by your side, should you ever need to wield it.
Rule 5 - I will Shut Up and Listen
---------------------------
Wanna connect with people? Really hear and understand and enjoy other people?
Try LISTENING to them.
Yes, you need to express yourself, but rather than talking without learning,
try listening, deeply, to the people around you.
Guess what they are feeling, and help them feel even better.
Assume they're scared, too.
Assume they actually do want to be close friends, but they've been burned before
and they're wary.
You reach out first. Ready for my opening line... with an outstretched hand
I smile and say, "Hi, my name is Matt.". works every time.
Be safe, and loving, and accepting, and kind. Surprise 'em, by not judging
'em. Try a compliment... it worth gold in setting the tone of your relationship.
assume you're friends now that you've met.
Trust, and verify. You can 'afford' to trust first because you know you have
the skills to Remove that trust quick, fast and in a hurry, if needed. You
trust wisely, with eyes wide open, knowing you are at the controls.
You can even be truly honest with people, telling people things that their
best friends wouldn't tell them, because when it comes
from love, most anything can be heard and understood. Come from love.
always. even if you have to fight, do it out of Love of freedom,
democracy and the American way.
Rule 6 - Stay Open to Learning.
-------------------------------
watch Kids, especially. If you want to really understand adults better, watch
kids. They're fascinating. They're simpler than we are, so it's easier to track
what's happening, and as they grow, you can see the protections and avoidances
and nuances of each person develop and mature as they grow. (most times, I'd
rather hang around with kids than adults...
that's why I feel so blessed to have my daughter and 4 grandkiddos right here
in our little town. We get to have a slumber party the next 3 nights, so I'm
excited they're coming over! ice cream and sleeping bags and kid movies and
laughter and giggling and tickling and Aliveness.)
a wonderful way to combat a bully or naysayer is to agree with them... it takes
all the fun out of the criticism. If they say you're controlling, they're probably
right. If they tell you that your energy more repels than attracts, they're
probably right. If they you are hard to get close to, they're probably right.
Listen. Learn. Let go quickly and gently. Float. Glide. Flow. Enjoy. Relax.
Find Good. Live free.
Rule 7 - Keep the big picture in mind.
--------------------------------------
If you think things can't get worse, you are so wrong.
Things can Always get worse, a lot worse. We have it pretty damned good in
the US. So even when you get down, know that we Americans will always learn,
grow and perservere.
Know that they are feelings, and only feelings, no
matter how bad they may seem in the present, if allowed
and dealt with directly, they will pass.
Feelings are a good thing, not a bad thing.
---
The funest thing I do: play racquetball
The thing I do that makes me learn the most about myself:
writing
The way I feel the most loved and appreciated: hanging
out with the grandkiddos
When I feel the most 'on purpose': teaching and loving
---
I hate to get real heavy on you in an email, but I'm
having trouble saying it to you in person, and I
do need to say it.
Rachel, I feel like you are actively pushing me away.
You are short with me.
You use a nasty, impatient, judgemental voice with
me, much of the time.
and here's the worst part, for me.
you are an amazingly aware, brilliant, beautiful young
lady
I believe that you know darned well that you hurt
my feelings, often.
heck, I've been hanging up on you when you talk harshly to you, so I'm sure
you noticed.
but you know it, and It Seems to be OK with you.
you're aware enough to know that it's my problem,
not yours.
and that's true.
it is my problem.
you have some need to push me away.
and intense need for independence and control over
your life.
no problem.
I've always strived to give you as much room as you've
needed to really spread your wings.
there have been 2 life decisions that you did Not
have control over.
moving to Fort Bragg
moving out in the country, to McDonnell Lane
both true.
I think you're still very angry about both.
You and mom have a cool relationship lately. I'm so
glad that you have chosen to love and respect her,
even tho both of the above decisions were hers.
I think you're mad at me because I didn't stand up
to Mom, and let her run over me.
I think you lost some respect for me, knowing I'm kind
of a wimp.
I think you've judged me that I have 'feelings' when
you don't (or didn't).
but I also believe you've been trying them on a little recently and you're
starting to like them.
the thing about feelings is that they're a package deal.
if you cut off of one (for example, you decide never to cry or feel sad), they
all get cut off, and blocked and pent up.
That's one of the reasons that ND works so well.
We are awesome at getting to people's blocked up, cut off, pent up feelings
and helping them POW! release them into the atmosphere! It's so cool to watch,
and be a part of. way much fun.
Feelings will not be denied.
You may think you're stuffing or avoiding or ignoring
your feelings, but I've got news for you, they will
not be denied.
do you smoke, or drink, or eat too much?
Guess what that means?
do you have trouble finding or holding on to relationships?
I guarentee that unresolved feelings are getting in your way, unconsciously.
are you as Happy as you want to be?
Happiness is a "natural state" that would exist, in BIG amounts,
given the chance.
Once we move our negative feelings and emotions out of the way, out of our
bodies, Happiness, and Joy, and Peace will exist AUTOMATICALLY, as that is
how we were designed. God is good. When we can touch our essence, even a little
pinkey finger touch, we are constantly Amazed at the depth and breadth and
ability to Love we have at our center.
Experience your Feelings, there is NOTHING like it
in the world. It IS your world. All the things that
happen around us, they are "the World". But
they are the outside world, so of which we can control,
most of which we can't. Now, the Inside world -- our
feelings, our beliefs, our memories, our issues, our
personality, our survival skills -- those are all inside
us, they ARE us and they are Our World. And here's
the really GREAT NEWS -- we have WAY MUCH MORE CONTROL
of our innerds that we ever imagined possible!
Once you learn and see and experience and Feel what
POSSIBLE inside you, you will never return to your
clueless state on unawareness. Once you know what you
feel, you can never Unknow it. When your body feels
angry, you'll know it. When you're afraid, you'll sense
it faster and more accurately (and probably Deeper,
too).
ONCE YOU IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS, you can DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THEM!
but not until then.
We cannot make wise, mature, logical decisions on
stuff that we are NOT aware of! duh.
If you don't know what you feel, you cannot control
and manage your feelings… they control and manage
you. period.
you'll find yourself constantly doing things to soothe
or placate or avoid your feelings… or you always
opt for the 'comfortable' path.
have you ever Moved to another city or state so you
don't have to "deal with" somebody?
have you ever NOT gone somewhere because you're too
afraid of what others might think of you?
have you ever NOT stood up to somebody (emotionally
speaking) because you couldn't handle the possibility
of Conflict or Angry words?
THAT is letting your feelings control you.
Once you are in control -- you accept That you feel,
you know What you are feeling, and you probably know
Why you are feeling it -- you can make WAY MUCH better
decisions about yourself and your life.
come to class, if nothing else, for the Experience
of it all.
watching people Transform, completely, before your eyes, is something you just
gotta see.
In a sea of love, care and concern that strengthens and honors and celebrates
each of us to our core.
Ever seen someone on Dr. Phil really "Get it"?
We do that all the time, over and over, all weekend!
It's so cool to watch and to be there with. The healing
energy pervades the room, people totally let down their
barriers and are 100% there for one another.
Watch life happen. Watch people heal emotional blocks
and "issues" that have been eating them up
inside for 10, 20, 30+ years. Right in front of you.
Right with you.
And you helped make it happen. Your acceptance, your
love, your support, your hugs.
From that day forward, you will have a picture, a
feeling, an experience of what it's like to truly Connect,
to be with, to belong, to be We, to coexist, to be
part of the Team.
Even tho' we will be together for only a few days,
you will see a side of yourself that will forever change
the way you look at people, at your family, at your
friends, at your enemies, at the world.---
---
no one stays in my heart, or my mind, without my permission.
---
Men taught common sense, mechanical improvements and
mass production.
plus legal, business and financial institutions that have worked amazingly
well.
Now women are bringing to the mix, the Personal side
of things.
The networking.
The Communication
The Personality
The Heart
The Life Connection
---
ND Mission:
To educate the world on the power, the love and the joy in exploring and understanding
their feelings and emotions.
ND is an organization based on love, trust, honesty and fellowship.
---
Business "packages"
as EAP
Emergency assistance
choices: 1 hour of therapy, or medication, or even hospitalization -slow, costly,
or too invasive.
there's a better, faster way…we're faster than therapy, cheaper than
medical and way more personal than a hospital.
In 1 short weekend, we can SIGNIFICANTLY change a
person's will-to-live, they're overwhelmin feelings
of Powerlessness, and help them get in touch with their
Joy and Personal Power again.
yep, just 1 weekend.
we've been doing it for over 18 years now. mostly
in Fresno. and we're pretty darned good at it.
we've had over 2,000 graduates and their Testimonials are amazing.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
we have kicked some serious emotional butt during
that time. read what people say about ND.
we have saved marriages.
we have saved relationships.
we have even saved lives (literally and figuratively)
we have taken people from the doldrums to the heights
we have helped people resolve life-long hurts and angers
we have helped people seemingly bottomless grief from losing of a dear loved
one
we have helped people get through the incredible pain of divorce from a 20-
or 30-year marriage.
we have helped people come back to life, after being down and depressed for
years.
we have helped people enjoy their lives more fully and completely.
we have helped people feel Closer and more intimate with another human that
they only dreamed of.
we have helped people feel Happy, and Joyous, and Free.
You don't have to be Down to take New Directions.
You certainly aren't Broken.
You don't have to be "in crisis" or any other kind of drama, either.
you can just be Curious, or Interested, even Skeptical.
I will guarantee you this…
if you come into the class with even a semi-open mind and heart
we can help you to feel safer, more loved, more encouraged and more Ok than
you've felt for a very long time, maybe for ever!
You will learn things you never knew about yourself,
your feelings, your past and your heart.
You will see your life differently than you ever saw it before.
You will understand yourself, and other people, when you see so clearly what
makes us all tick.
You will learn a whole new 'language' of feelings and emotions that will help
you connect with people on a more personal lever than ever before.
and hey, if it doesn't work for you, no problem. I'll
give you your money back.
that's right… all of it.
I've only been asked this a few times, but it did happen the last class.
he came to Friday night and he was visibly tense.
he came to Saturday morning and he was even more tense. he mentioned to me
that he wasn't sure he could handle the class.
about 11:00 Saturday morning he asked me if we could talk. We went out in the
hallway and we talked. He told me that he had been diagnosed with Panic Anxiety
and he was having a heckuva time sitting still in a room full of people. I
said Dude, you're so close, don't leave now. You will break thru this and you
will feel better. just give me one more day. He thanked me, said he learned
a lot and asked if he could keep Doc's book but just wasn't ready to break
thru this stuff… not yet. He asked for his money back and I gave it to
him, with my best wishes, a complement on how cool it was that he was so aware
of his feelings now and an invitation to return (technically, our agreement
says you gotta attend the entire weekend, but he wanted outta there bad, so
I let him slide). I figured I could be an ass about it now, and never see him
again, or be cool about it and then he'd be free to come back when he's ready.
---
There are only 4 questions of value in life:
what is sacred?
of what is the spirit made?
what is worth living for?
and what is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same.
Only love.
- Don Juan DeMarco
---
I'm going to learn to dance my ass off.
a. very healthy
b. don't care what others are seeing
c. better yet, I see me, thru their eyes, and I like what I see.
I smile a lot, I invite others to play with me, in a very safe, respectful,
loving way
and I spread joy where I can wherever I go.
I do care what I look like -- and I feel Great!
---
maybe I'm supposed to look how I look. duh.
maybe I need to publically enjoy my love of food and eating.
maybe I need to just be, physically
and my body will adjust to what it's supposed to be.
maybe it will help me change things faster.
maybe that's just an excuse, a way to keep from trying.
maybe.
so.
I don’t do much guilt anymore. I like that.
I feel like I'm not as caring, and nice… which is true. I'm more real.
I get to feel what Not feeling guilty feels like.
I like it.
there are things I am "aware of" and paying attention to, without
them causing my heart to race or my body to tense over.
that's the test between issue and healed… does the subject cause physical
and/or emotional palpitations? if so, it's an "issue".
maybe.
---
Want to Feel better?
are you feeling down, or angry, or scared all the time?
Want to Feel more?
do your feelings seem far away or self-contained in a little box?
Want to get in-touch with your Feelings?
are you Clueless when it comes to managing your feelings and emotions?
We can help.
In 1 short, powerful weekend, you will learn to
Identify what you Feel
Accept that it's Ok to Feel
Allow, or Disallow, your Feelings
Open your heart to Love, and close it up as needed.
Embrace your inner child, where all your feelings started from.
Understand who you are, and how you got here, emotionally
Feel safe, truly safe, possibly for the first time in your life
Express your feelings in positive, productive ways, that bring people closer
to you.
Be Ok having people closer to you.
we talk about:
Trust
Guilt
Anger
Sadness
Joy
Shame
Blame
Peace
Love
Depression
Playing the Victim
Personal Power
Rage
Relief
Relief from Depression = Sad + Acceptance + Powerful
+ No Victim + Anger + Rage + Hurt + Disappointment
+ Personal Power +Anger + Hope + Joy + Relief
Relief from Anger = (Anger or hurt, differentiate.)
If hurt, Hurt + powerful + anger + hurt + fill with love + Relief + joy
if real anger, do it. yell it out and punch it out and Explode it out of your
system. keep going 'til there's no more. and then go a bit longer.
get it all out of your system.
it's kinda like a big Burp or Fart. it's pent-up energy, mostly in your chest,
that needs releasing…
… it kinda pOps.
and then recedes. and then relief
and a sorta hollow feeling exists where the energy was, but ain't there no
more.
That space needs to be filled. If you don't fill it consciously, you will fill
it unconsciously (not good).
Relief from Guilt =
Relief from Shame =
Relief from Sadness =
Steps to fill your hollow chest cavity after 'processing' your anger:
------------------------------------
Picture your Higher Power.
Allow your heart and mind to be open to Him/Her… connect.
now Picture a Color. Any color that feels good and
right to you right now.
name the color outloud. be specific
Allow your Higher power to POUR this color all over
you from above… there's as much as you want…
enjoy the ooze as it caresses your hair and head. Feel it flow over you and
inside you, filling your entire insides and out with your color.
notice how it feels. notice how full you feel. full, yet light.
Make sure the empty space inside you gets extra attention.
go in with a soft sponge or towel and gently paint the walls with your color.
soothing… caressing…
touch every area until it's completely covered.
enjoy.
---
Q: "Who made more difference in curing your depression
than any other human on the planet?"
A. "you did."
---
get 'em into their feelings, really feeling it, and
accepting it
and Wham! change it.
get 'em laughing. break the cycle of energy.
make a new ending to the story. (like nlp)
"You're so good at that!"
- Michelle Every
---
posted on www.eq.org 9.24.05
Ok, here's a review of TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com.
(it might be slightly biased, as it's my blog, but
I'll try to be honest, never-the-less.)
'cause Honesty is one of things my blog is about.
Honesty
and Safety
and Intimacy
and Commitment
and Love.
TCOYF, as I call it, is a pretty good blog, I think.
What it lacks in technical merit, it makes up for with
a very real, very powerful, very unique message.
With over 300 entries, it covers lots of information,
research, quotes, lessons and personal musings all
about the work I've done with people's Feelings. The
wording is clumsy in parts, but it's improved over
the 3 years as I have 'found my voice' get clearer
and cleared.
but here's the cool part:
What I'm selling is totally and completely FREE!
What I'm pushing is an Unlimited supply of intensity, passion, joy and love.
What I know is that a few thousand people have Feelings and improved EQ has
radically improved their lives, so I believe they will also work for you.
What I want if for you to decide to Feel. Not avoid
your feelings, but go right for them, to experience
them, to enjoy them.
Taking Control of your Feelings (EQ) is one of the
most important life tools you can ever learn. ever.
Taking Control of your FEELINGS & Emotions is the Key to HAPPINESS.
Taking Control of your Feelings = Taking Control of your Life
it's true.
I've seen it over and over.
How do I know all this? My wife Paula and I have been
teaching a weekend intensive for about 18 years now
where we deal DIRECTLY with our feelings and emotions.
We talk about -- AND EXPERIENCE -- our anger, fear,
sadness, depression, along with joy, love, beauty and
Personal Power. When people leave the weekend, they
feel Full, and Alive, and Loving, and Powerful, and
Joyous. They have found out how to deal with and heal
some of their incredible unresolved pain and angers
from their past, merely by Allowing and Experiencing
their deepest wounds and raging hatred.
Our testimonials speak for themselves and how well
this works in people's lives… we have been a
part of numerous Astounding changes in people… from
sickness to health, from mental hospital to magna cum
laude, from suicidal to inspirational… but I'm
not pushing the class. You can come if you need real,
face-to-face help breaking thru old emotional baggage… but
you don't NEED US to do that. You can do all this yourself,
at home, with your own friends and loved-ones.
Here's my message in a nutshell: Feel, and Feel, and
Feel some more.
Delve into the very core of your soul to resurface renewed, cleansed & clear,
lighter & brighter than ever before.
If it's Yucky stuff then FEEL it -- really, REALLY
FEEL IT -- at your 100%, with everything you've got,
and it will leave.
If you're sad, please, please, be sad. It's the kindest, gentlest, lovingest,
healthiest gift you can give yourself. Let yourself Go to swim in a sea of
tears and grief so your poor body can finally heal. Open your heart to yourself,
allow yourself to be sad, and cry, and grieve. You will surely find out who
and what you truly love.
If you're angry, find a safe place where you can go ballistic and Express your
anger and rage as intensely as you feel it.
If you're depressed, get angry. Depression = Anger Turned Inward. Come to grips
with your anger, let it out and let it go. and you will heal.
If you're afraid, face it. Most times our fear tells us to "Pay Attention" and "Open
your Eyes" and "Wake up!". It rarely tells us "Stop" or "Avoid
at all costs" or "Run!" (sometimes, but not often). Once you
can deal with your fears, you can embrace them when they surface, listen to
them, hear the message they carry and then make good, sound, logical decisions
even though you may be afraid.
If you're guilty, quit it. Guilt is a totally optional, learned behaviour that
can ruin your life experience if left to do it's worst and poison your body.
When you are powerful enough to say "I will not carry this guilt anymore",
you'll be free to live as proud -- chin up, eyes straight and head clear.
… and there's more… oh so much more...
You see, once we fully express our pent-up sadness
and rage, really, really express it, then Poof, our
feelings can CHANGE. They disappate. They disappear.
They are released from the confines of our body and
are free to go. c-ya later, bye. yes, it's that simple.
"Feelings expressed as intensily as they are
felt will reduce in intensity and are free to change."
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT (my mentor)
Here are the simple steps to Feelin' and Healin'
Acknowledge & Accept Your feelings determine you. They guide you. They
are you. Accepting your feelings = accepting yourself.
Explore & Allow Trust your body that it knows. If you haven't 'dealt with'
your past, you need to. period.
Release & Replace. When it comes up, find a safe place and feel it at 100%
so you can let go of the yuck and find the Good.
Celebrate & Rejoice Go for the Gold, baby!! Totally aware, with wisdom,
joy and ALIVEness in your Heart!
What's our secret? Here are a few.
1) Acceptance. We've been there. we know what it's
like. and you're ok with us, whether you're raging
at a pillow, curled up in our laps in a fetal position,
or dancing around the place, as carefree and light
as you've ever felt before.
2) Safety. By fully accepting you and focussing the
entire class's energies on you, you are likely to feel
Safer and more Loved and accepted than ever before
in your life. The power of the group intention is just
awesome to witness!
3) The Group. People crave connection. Connection
is the key and Love is the answer. We may all have
different life stories -- some far worse than others
-- but the one thing we all share in common, regardless
of race, creed, sex or color, is our Feelings. We have
ALL felt sad before. We have all been angry. We have
all lost someone or something we loved. We all have
Feelings and it is from there that we connect, we belong,
we create intimacy and we fit in with humanity.
4) The Focus. I've been to a lot of workshops, and
I know about a lot of other workshops, but I have never
seen one that goes Directly for the feelings and emotions
like we do. You want to get to the heart of the matter?
let's go. Here's an example: The homework exercise
for Friday night of class, answer 2 questions: 1) Who
or what are you angry at? 2) Who or what hurt you the
most? we don't avoid feelings, we go right for them.
so you'll know how after the weekend is over.
5) A Sense of Humour. This is tough stuff… as
tough as it gets, actually. It's quite simple, really,
but it ain't easy. So we keep a good attitude about
it all. We have fun, we dance, we celebrate, we lift
up, we encourage and we hug (a lot), 'cause that's
what we want our lives to be about. We dig into the
yucky feelings, but we come right back to laughing
and hugging and love.
6) The Love. Everything, and I mean everthing, is
done with Love. We love you unconditionally, right
from our first meeting. why? because it works. because
it's wonderful, because we choose to love. If we have
the tools to handle the hurt and disappointments that
come with all relationships, we can open up and trust
and love with all our hearts, but wisely and intelligently.
7) Experience. As I said, we've been doing this for
awhile now… an entire Generation, in fact. It
works for kids, for teens, for adults and for the elderly.
We've seen it all and we've dealt with all types of
people, probably someone like you.
In my blog there's straight-forward talk about Feelings
and Emotions. I think you'll find that I explain them
and discuss them and debate them like you've never
seen anywhere else.
I just want people to Feel. Period. The power, the
beauty and the Joy of truly being in-touch with yourself,
your feelings, your passions and your Life is indescribable.
Click thru to read a few items… only takes a
sec… as your body will know right away how you
Feel about my style and my message.
"You can't Heal what you can't Feel."
read on…and Feel!
- Matt
---
---
Finding my voice…
- mcp 09-23-05
---
---
New Directions Workshop's
STATEMENT OF DIRECTION
---------------------------------------
I am through being the Victim.
And finished blaming others, and myself.
NOW WHAT?!?
Even though I am Afraid,
I am turning Anger into Love,
Sadness to Joy,
and Depression into Personal Power.
Now I choose to feel ALIVE!!
9.23.05 me, pkp, christine
http://2gethelp.blogs.com/takingcontrol/2005/09/statement_of_di.html
---
I guess I wanna show people how to live. young adults
or fired-up women are my fave. like LJ and Kim and
__ (her sis) and Carole (last class) and Jenn and Michele
and Michelle and Karen, etc. we want people who are
ready to go to work. don't come here to pussy-foot
around. we do serious emotional cleansing work, and
it's not for everybody.
By golly, if you ain't into it, that's ok.
or tell you what, ever better... we can go as deep,
or not, as you are ready to go.
We'll come to where you are.
We have seen (and felt) how deep we CAN go -- but as
Doc says, "You can only be where you are." (duh.
yet profound in as a means of Accepting yourself).
in fact, that's another cool thing about us... since
we've worked with sooo many people, on sooo many growth
paths, we can be VERY respectful of where you are in
Your growth and development.
we'll come where you are and
we'll lift you up
we'll celebrate you
and encourage you
and teach you
and guide you
and fill you up with love and warm feelings
so you don't feel alone, anymore.
Once a graduate, always a Friend.
---
and if you're seeing where you're at, clearly, honestly,
at a feeling level and you're not liking it. that's
cool, too.
we'll tell you that, too.
the cool part about finding out we're NOT where we
WANT to be, it leaves Huge potential for growth and
development
what if we were "There". And this was it..
How sad would that be?
---
People don't know.
As teens and young adults, people don't know that they
are going to marry their mother or their father, depending
on which one they have the biggest issues with.
People don't know that their current beliefs and behaviours
are so interconnected to their childhood traumas.
People don't know that you can beat the voices in your
head.
People don't know that they can heal their own depression.
People don't know that exploring and learning to manage
their feelings and emotions is the key to happiness.
People don't know all the emotional choices they actually
have.
People don't know that they can feel better, when they've
felt badly for so long.
People don't know that there is so much Hope, so easily
and permanently.
People don't know what to do with all their anger.
People don't know how to combat their fears.
People don't know how to effectively reduce their sadness
and grief.
People don't know these basic concepts that we take
as obvious.
We need to teach them.
http://2gethelp.blogs.com/takingcontrol/2005/09/people_dont_kno.html
---
Why are you doing this work?
"She said she wanted to be free more than anything
else."
---
ND Target Audience
25-45 single females (or the very few emotionally aware males of any age)
45-65 married females
employed, middle income
probably divorced
wanting less pain, more love and happiness out of life
emotional healing, relationships, recovery, success, growth
---
see Radio High School movie: PUMP UP THE VOLUME
---
(?) huhmm? or hmmm...
(!) a comment, not nec. at end of sentence
---
I've been trying to sell you on ND.
that's not what I'm selling.
I'm selling Feelings.
talk to people. teach them. show them.
they don't know that their Feelings are the Key to
Happiness.
they don't know that they have Everything they need,
inside them, to be really Happy and Joyous and Free.
they don't know because they haven't been taught.
they don't know how Easy it can be (yes, after awhile,
when you stop fighting it, it actually couldn't be
easier)
it's about being authentic, real-life, right-now YOU.
that's it.
what could be easier or more natural.
In fact, that's the point.
The more you're in touch with your Feelings, the more
Natural and Genuine and Real you can be.
---
Wanna Be more Real?
Sick of wearing that fake Mask all the time, cause
you're Afraid to take it off?
---
we can help show you how.
we can create a safe place for you to process thru
your feelings.
we can offer support and love and encouragement and
for you,
but you don't need us to do the work.
find someone local.
find a trusted friend, who's not afraid of their own
feelings.
get some help. or not.
but do the work.
---
I've been working on this wording for years.
and I finally Got it.
I'm not selling ND or TCOYF or TCOYL,
I'm selling Feelings.
tell 'em it's Easy.
tell 'em it's Free.
tell 'em it's the Key to Happiness.
tell 'em that it's the ONLY WAY to really Take Control
of their Lives.
oh, and warn them too, because there is a down side
to all this.
'em, too, that it ain't always Fun.
you will friggin' Hurt to the Depths of your soul.
you will feel Pain that is so intense you will feel
like your chest is gonna explode and your heart is
gonna bust >> !!
you will feel and you will cry and you will Scream
and you fall to the ground in pain.
… and you will Heal.
… and it will pass.
(and this is the way to make it pass, is to Allow
it. there are other choices. there is years of analysis,
there is eating, and drinking, and food and hard drugs
and pills, and work, and reading, and porn, and all
kinds of ways to Avoid feeling what you're really feeling,
way down deep. well guess what -- what you feel is
what you feel.
"You can only be where you are." - Doc Downing
seems kinda 'duh', but think about it.
how many times do we say, to ourselves, 'nah, I don't
feel that. I'm not that angry.'
acknowledge, allow, release, replace
acknowledge = explore + identify
we don't Avoid our Feelings,
we go Looking for them!
we wanna find what we're Angry about, so we can get
it handled and out of our System. sometimes, for ever.
we wanna realize our Fears, and our Limiting Beliefs,
and any self-abusive language that's secretly plays
in our heads.
we take classes, we read, we are all in Support Groups,
some are in therapy, especially Group Therapy (cause
it's cheaper and we understand the power of the group
process!)
Your Feelings are the Key to Life: Take Control of
them
Connection is the Key.
You've been hurt. bad.
You're pissed off.
You've been pissed off so long that now you're Depressed,
too.
good news: so has everyone else!
every one.
that is the one clear, combining factor among all us
Humans.
We all understand what Pain is.
We are all Angry about something(s).
We all understand Love.
We all know what the magic of the human connection
feels like.
however, we are at drastically different levels of
Awareness about what we can Do with our feelings.
We now understand so much more about them, how to live
with them, how to control them (not force, but manage
and be smart about them)
---
Make a space, that's all your own.
somewhere, somehow
make it yours.
---
people who spend time alone usually hate it at first
but then after awhile, they start to like it
and don't then want to be around others much.
ironic, but true.
---
"
New Directions is a place that no matter where you
are in your learning process, or what problems you
have in life, you will walk away with new information.
This has been a journey in learning for me and I would
like to share this part of my personal growth with
each and every person I meet. "
- Lori Seargeant, ND instructor and participant for over 12 years
---
we are selling Feelings, period.
we are spreading the gospel, the truth, the way and the light.
We are selling Life!
Feelings = Life.
Passion.
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Contentment.
Safety.
Compassion.
all of it.
and that's my point…
There really IS nothing more important to focus on.
The people's lives that were trashed and drowned and blown away… what
do they have left?
Their Feelings. Their Hearts. Their Memories. Their Connections to others.
nothing else. nothing.
I'll say it again,
there is Nothing more important to learn about than
this.
nothing else. nothing.
posted
---
Accept & Allow Allow it Get a Clue
Express and Release Feel it Get a Grip
Replace and Rejoice Enjoy it Get a Life
---
what if we could control our feelings enough that we
could Process through, even really hurt or angry feelings,
right through our system, to return to a healthy, living-in-the-moment
peace about you because You Know You can Handle Anything
that comes your way, from this day forward.
yes, you can make THAT BIG of jumps in just 1 weekend.
no kidding.
It's just Attitude.
It's all Attitude.
And Attitude is all YOURS!
You can switch things around so fast, once you get
to the bottom of it all, it's quite amazing to watch,
and experience.
(hint, if nothing else, come to class just to Experience
the most incredible journey, the journey Inside Yourself.
Watch as people transform before your eyes! You like
Reality Shows? You will see the most heart-wrenching,
love-building, totally-let-down-the-walls
We're like a nudist colony for our Feelings.
We come naked
And we agree to accept each other just as we are.
And it's a beautiful thing.
plus, we are definitely a Colony, too.
like you'd think. everyone pitches in. everyone gets along. one BIG happy family.
when you run into another ND grad, you have an INSTANT CONNECTION, because
you both have been places that others don't go. You 'get it' about your feelings.
You know that Love is the answer, so you open up to that person right away.
many hug, even some very happy marriages between consenting ND grads.
---
as George Carlin said "My job is go find all the goofy shit and come back
and report it to you."
well, same here.
"My job is to watch how people handle their Feelings (and how they don't)
and come back and report it to you."
---
Get a Clue -- Get a Grip -- Get a LIFE!
Trust me, if you ain't in control of your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT
in control of your life, period! Feelings run the show... whether you like
it or not. You'd better check out this site because you need to understand
what's going on inside you. We can teach you to identify and accept your body's
natural feelings and emotions, make friends with them, explore them, learn
from them and someday learn to adore them. Feelings are your Heart, and your
Soul and your life. Master your Feelings and Success and Happiness are yours.
Step in, read on. Love more, cry less. LIVE FREE > > >
published as header on TCOYF 9.10.05. 01:15 best yet.
Trust me, if you ain't in control of your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT
in control of your life, period! Feelings run the show... whether you like
it or not. We can help you explore a whole new side of yourself - the Inside
-- to the depths of your being. That place where Love, and Joy, and Sadness,
and Anger, and Passion, and Sex, and Fun. Step in, read on. Love more, cry
less. LIVE FREE > > >
published as header on TCOYF 9.10.05. 05:37 even better.
---
The New Directions Get-a-Clue Weekend Intensive
Love more, hurt less LIVE FREE
The New Directions Live Free Weekend Intensive
my fav -> The New Directions Feeling and Healing Weekend Intensive
---
people want to be lead. like MP does.
with Love, and clarity.
he is putting his whole self into
he can do that
---
Here's how to do a keyword-filled email...
Handjobs. Hetero handjobs, see hot babes giving a teen handjobs in many handjob
movies. I love this handjobs porn site!
http://www.handjobs-porn.com
___
Handjobs
---
Let people YELL, really YELL!
and sing, and hard and as LOUD as they can.
("Maria, Maria" on Santana, Supernatural)
at 100%!
What do you DO at 100%?
What?
Anything?
Something. What?
The more the you know about yourself, the better your BEST can be!
You can PUSH yourself.
You can dig deep.
If it's you or me, dude, sorry, but you lose.
I know people were poor and helpless and infirmed.
but do you really think you would allow yourself, or your family, to be wandering
the streets for days? homeless and helpless?
I don't think so.
and I sure hope not.
We better learn how to Take Care of OURSELVES.
We better learn how to Kick some ass!
We better learn how to push ourselves when needed, to take care ourselves and
our families, to be strong and powerful and Aware. We're pretty comfortable,
as Americans, but we're being Rocked lately, and we'd better wake up and hear
the clues.
If you can't control your emotions, you can't control your life.
---
Get a Clue. Get a Life!
If you don't understand the world of Feelings and
Emotions, you are NOT in control of your life! Trust
me, your feelings run the show... whether you like
it or not… and they are the key to both Success
and Happiness. So you'd better understand them, make
friends with them, explore them, control them and maybe
even learn to adore them. Step in we'll teach you.
Love more, hurt less, LIVE FREE . . .
09.02.05 on tcoyf.com
---
where you are is where I wanna be.
in your eyes is everything I wanna see.
in the night, you are my dream
you're everything to meee--ee--ee.
you're the love,
Of my life
in my breath
in my prayers
take my hand
you there
what I need is you here
I can't forget, the taste of your mouth
from your lips, the heavens pour out.
when we are one
it's you alone and I am feeee-ee-eee.
every day, every night
you alone
you're the love of my life.
(awesome drums, fast)
then carlos goes at it.
every day, every night
you alone
you're the love of my life.
we'll go dancing in the moooonlight
with the starlight in your eyes
we'll go dancing til the sun rise
you and me, we're gonna dance, Dance, DA--....
(fantastic dancing, and Carlos get DOWN!)
---
I'm not the performer.
I'm the producer.
---
Create my story, interspersed with pictures
on MP.com
or start by adding pics to, make 'em read down a bit… it's
a good story.
---
Donna Steinhorn is one of the top coaches in the US
now, with Rhonda Britton.
Rhonda started by doing workshops on handling Fears,
only.
she would go from town to town and create and enroll
for her workshop.
ours, it's about the connection. the people. the love.
"
please, there a bunch of you and I want so bad for
everyone to get what they need from the class. Please
participate to the best of your ability. I get busy
helping other people and can't watch out for you as
much as I'd like to -- so help me out. I hope you now
are convinced that the issue IS the feelings… it
doesn't matter what you're Feeling about… the
issue is How to understand, control and manage your
Feelings. That's it. ANY other issues, you can get
through, as long as you have your Feeling Toolbox by
your side. with the right tools, you can build a skyscraper
of a life! when you're done with this life, do you
wanna look back and see that you did made it, but it
was pretty much a draaag. you constantly felt like
you were in a 'Survival mode', scraping by, scared,
not that great of relationships. I don't think so.
I know for me, I wanna go outta here going "Damn,
that was fun!" hard, but mostly Fun! I had it
all. Love, Joy, Peace, Freedom, Security, Pride, Respect.
I pushed myself to live on-the-edge and I experienced
SOOOOO much. I sure am glad I was able to manage my
Fears, so I could let myself do some wild and Crayzyz
things!!
phew.
I pushed myself to be my best… to go where I've
never been before, inside myself. Life was a true adventure,
because I enjoyed the 'E-ticket' ride of the Century… inside
me. Call me self-centered, but that's by far the most
interesting thing, to me, me.
---
thanks Carlos for helping beauty and beat to the journey
---
(alternate thread from above)
when people are processing, please join them. When
others are crying is the easiest, best, coolest time
to let yourself cry, as well. it's awesome, really,
and oh so healing.
Who else does that?
You HAVE ISSUES. Trust me, you have issues from your
past. Unless you've done conscious healing work on
yourself, your inner child, your past, your Feelings,
you ain't there. Seriously. There is no way that
---
---
when you Celebrate, you gotta have MUSIC along with!
Rocky
Titans Spirit
Top Gun
---
most people, when they start to cry, they try to stop
it or cut it off
not me.
I try to keep it going as long as I can.
to open my heart and let ALL the tears that need to
come out, come out.
sometimes even pushing gently to get it all
it's kinda hard for me to open (still). so when it
happens, I want to take the best advantage of it.
I usually try to bend over, as the pain and heaviness
comes out my mouth, and out into the universe.
ouch.
as I'm crying, I'm also checking for / allowing any
Anger, or actually ANY kind of noise or feeling, to
come up and out.
---
The bad news is if you've been trying to multi-task,
you've probably discovered what organizational psychologists
have observed to be decreasing accuracy and productivity
in post layoff climates. Multi- tasking is not a sustainable
answer to the too much to do and too few to do it problem!
The brain's executive control processes, the resource
allocators, are overstressed and the result is a measurable
time-cost.
The good news is there is a way to get it all done – efficiently
and without undue stress on your mental and emotional
resources – juggling! The difference between
the two is quite simple, and yet critical to your success.
Multi-tasking requires multiple items (responsibilities,
tasks or deadlines) in hand at the same time.
Juggling require only one item (responsibility, task
or deadline) in hand at a time, though often briefly
and on a recurring basis.
---
a 31-day program of ND Tips and Tricks.
---
Analysis vs. Processing of Feelings
therapists are trained in Analysis, Identification,
Labeling, Design a program, work the program, followup
we just work directly with the Feelings themselves.
we don't focus that much who you're mad at, or even why
we are just concerned that you are Angry.
Awareness, Identification, Expression of the Feeling itself.
we are experts in dealing with Feelings and Emotions.
Anger, Fear, Sadness, Depressed feelings, Guilt, Shame, Resentment, Control
Another difference:
Therapy is usually done in 1-, maybe 2-hour intervals.
we do about 30 hours all in one weekend.
we feel we can get better results that way:
- Allows the group to 'meld' into tight, close connections
- Gives folks time to 'go deep' into their heart and soul, to make core changes
and relieve stuck feelings that they've carried since they were very little
- we hit 'em Hard, getting right to the Heart of the matter!
---
Need to handle Head and Heart, practical and emotional
I have a judgement, and anger, about …
I have a judgment, and fear, about…
and figure out the mix… maybe 80% judgement… and changing it might
alleviate the entire situation.
or it may be more emotional… if you did this for me, it would help me
feel loved… but no real practical application… it just feels better.
---
where in your body, do you feel?
have to go to the bathroom lower abdomen
Anger hands, jaw, wall around my heart
old unexpressed anger, neck, shoulders, lower back
Sad Heart is heavy, fuller
Eyes, just beside and behind, filled with tears
Fear Lower back Fight or Flight - remedy? Anger. force grounding, no run, DECIDE
Back of my arms (fight)
general tension
ungrounded (flight)
out, out, out
|
|
\/
Lightness
Relief
Joy
Sunshine
Love
Peace
Serenity
(people know how to Run, but they don't know how to stand and Fight!
after, feel Proud, Powerful, Courage, 'nadlies', Fairness
how to deal with your own, and help others deal with theirs.
the more you know about yourself, the better you can get along with others.
Unhappy
Wimpy
Tired of having 'Potential', but not living up to it?
(written on a paper towel at the gym on a sat. morning when no one was there
to play 8-27-05)
---
do lessons, like Coach T, did for coaching. help re: dealing with people
example: http://www.coachville.com/tourhowtocoach.html
he did 100
---
Mistaken self-esteem.
think you're bad, but others see you dif.
stubborn refusal to look at oneself honestly and objectively
---
Here are the '8 Steps to Building your Multiple Streams Business' AJL
Discover Your Niche Market
Elicit the Problems
Find the Solutions
Choose Your Packaging
Generate Traffic
Convert Traffic into Prospects
Feed Your Reservoir
Pursue a BOP Position in your Niche Market
---
http://www.andreajlee.com/ArielleFordReport.pdf
Don’t write your book first;
nobody’s going to read it. Publishers don’t
buy finished books –
publishers buy book proposals. What it is, is basically
a 50-page
document that gives an overview of the book, the background
of the
author, a chapter breakdown, a marketing section on
how you’re going
to help the publisher market this book, a competitive
analysis section
that explains what other books in the marketplace are
similar to yours
and how they sold, and then 1, 2 or possibly 3 sample
chapters from
the book – and they don’t have to be in
chronological order. That’s
what an agent takes to a publisher to sell. No agent
and no publisher
is going to read an entire manuscript, so don’t
write the book first.
You want to outline it and you want to understand it,
but you don’t
need to write it.
every publisher has access to Bookscan, and this
tracks actual sales at bookstores; you can’t
lie to a publisher
“
Publishers want a writer who already has
a platform - someone who already has a
website that’s up and active, an email list
of at least 10,000 names, and someone
who has a market to sell some books into
and understands the platform. “
They also want somebody who is
self-supporting – somebody who has a day job
if they’re not making
enough to be rich yet.
af@fordsisters.com
The biggest
authors I’ve worked with were all on a mission;
they were about
having something to share with the world. They were
all about
transmitting information and they were willing to give
energy every
single day for years.
I would say ‘slow down’; publishing is
a slow industry.
If you had a book proposal today, it would take 6 to
12 months to get
that sold, and then it would take another 12 to 18
months for the book
to come out. I would say building your platform is
the most important
thing.
---
do a newsletter that gives Examples each time.
so-and-so has an issue. here's what she's been feeling.
here's where it came from in her family/past. here's
an assessment of the current situation. here's what
she's doing about/with/because of it. (then have short
follow-ups as time goes, to let 'em in on)
Feeling and Healing
Stories of brave souls who face their emotional demons,
and win.
how about a bi-weekly newsletter with this as a regular
'column'?
btw, the #1 most effective thing we could do right
now, for building our future, is to start a regular
newsletter. Beginning next week, I commit thru the
end of 2005 to producing a bi-weekly newsletter, available
both online and via email, sign-up-able via our AutoResponder
(actually, we'll start with the existing list and ask
first, chance to get off, otherwise you're signed up).
teach Christine how.
---
http://www.oneminutemillionaire.com/tools/hots.asp
8.9.05
H.O.T.S. Survey: Results
Your Answers Indicate A Hare Role
APPROACH: Conceptual/Spontaneous
DESCRIPTION: The Hare generates the concepts and ideas.
They like to reframe the problem and look for solutions
that may be unusual, unique,and/or outside the boundaries
of traditional thought. Hares are good at exploring
alternatives and perceiving the "big picture".
Hares want freedom from constraint, and when a rule
exists they may break it. They may act impulsively,
letting their feelings guide them. They derive satisfaction
from the process of creating,discussing concepts and
ideas,and overcoming obstacles.
When everything is in its place,the Hare may become
restless,get impatient,and have a tendency to move
from one subject to another.
CONTRIBUTION: Fresh,original concepts that go beyond
the obvious,and are not constrained by fear of failure.
WEAKNESESS: Because the Hare enjoys generating ideas,
they may move from one idea to another without stopping
to evaluate the consequences.
If left alone to refine concepts,they will solve the
problem within the problem within the problem,and eventually
lose sight of the objective.
INSTINCT: Reframing problems to achieve breakthrough
solutions,moving in new directions,examining possibilities
without regard to risk.
---
How do you FEEL?
Are you Happy and Joyous and Free??
or are you Shut-down, Depressed, Guilt-ridden and ANGRY?!?
Taking control of your Feelings is the key to personal
Happiness and Success in your Career, Family and Relationships.
Stop by. We'll show you an amazing world that lies
deep inside you -- your Passions, your Joys, Your Personality,
Your FEELINGS!
http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
---
keywords: feelings, emotions, control, relationships, love, trust, faith, anger,
pain, feel, men, women, feeling, emotional, sad, depressed, blaming, guilty,
guilt, sorrow, alive
---
Inner Game categories - benefits of getting help, nicely written, starting
with numbered list 1-7 Fix IMPORTANT Things
http://www.doubleyourdatingprogram.com/e/Alt/DeepInnerGame/
---
Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows?
Long ago in China there was a famous student of Zen Master Ma Jo named Han
Ong. Everyone said to him, "You are so lucky." Then he said, "Good
luck, bad luck. Who knows?".
He had a good horse, which he liked to ride every day. One day the horse disappeared,
so everyone said, "Oh, such bad luck" He said, "Good luck, bad
luck. Who knows?".
A few days later, the horse returned, and brought with it a whole herd of wild
stallions. The townspeople cried, "Oh, that's wonderful - what good luck!".
But he said "Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?"
His son liked one of the new horses and rode it every day. He only had to mount
the horse and it would go, so he rode around and around, very happy. Then one
day while riding, he fell off and broke his leg. So everyone said, "Ah,
I am sorry your son broke his leg. What bad luck!" He said, "Good
luck, bad luck. Who knows?"
Soon after this, there was a war, with North China and South China fighting
each other. All the young people had to go to the army. But Han Ong's son had
a broken leg, so he could not go.
"
Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?"
---
Life's a dance you learn as you go:
Sometimes you lead; sometimes you follow.
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know.
Life's a dance you learn as you go.
---
(to val and becca, 8.8.805)
I'm not sure it means that things are going well... that's up to me.
I definitely believe that it's the Plan. for us. all of us. to go out and make
a difference. we have been gifted. why? to teach. period.
sometimes the gift can be a burden. tuff.
the teachings are more important than our comfort.
(as you can hear, I'm overburdened / too many jobs right now, due to the Attraction
principle.)
but really, I'm taking it seriously that I was chosen to teach, and lead.
but with a different attitude than before.
An attitude of Love is First.
You can be pissed.
You can protect your boundaries.
You can be as strong and powerful and as amazing as
you want…
and make as money as you want, unashamedly.
but Love first.
in every thing. all the time.
Love first.
If you love your customers
If you love your income.
if you love your computer and your desk, and your life
greater Love will come to you, as you spread the love.
It's not the Money we all want.
It's the Freedom, and the Peace, and the Security,
and Love that money can help bring.
the cool part is that all of those feelings are very
much Within Our Control.
we can increase them
we can feel them more often
we can turn up the volume
we can feel 'em,
anytime, anywhere
with or without the money.
---
so, what are you waiting for?
Feel Love Now.
try it.
take a big breath. close your eyes (in a sec) and picture someone you love
and allow your feelings of Love to surface, to grow in your heart, to envelop
you, from the inside out.
---
ND: It lets your Soul SING.
---
after class, make an address that goes to all send
autoresponder after class to all and let 'em know the
address with mailto:ND75@newdirectionsworkshop.com
ND75
---
Another warning! 7.23.05
Once you start your trip inside, working through your issues and understanding
and appreciating your feelings and emotions, learning how to deal with people
on a loving, clear, present level, knowing your connection to the world and
everybody in it… that kinda thing. Well, knowing all that will set you
a bit apart from most of the population, who are relatively clueless (imho).
Some of our experienced graduates have complained that "the playing field
has been narrowed considerably… I just can't date shallow, narrow, self-centered,
unaware people anymore." Sorry, it’s true. You'll probably look
at some of your current friends and family too, and decide NOT to hang around
with them anymore. Toxic, discouraging or ego-centered people become less and
less desirable, regardless of their physical beauty, wealth or "in" they
are. You'll be more selfish about who you are willing to hang with / date /
befriend.
---
<
- Take The Tour ->
Half Story, Hafl Lessons
I have a famous book (forgot the name) that is formatted
a bit differently and I thought it might work for
us.
The lessons are on the even pages and a Story is on
the odd pages.
How about we do the Tour like that…
Story Lesson
--------------------------------
| | |
| | |
| <-previous | next-> |
--------------------------------
we'll tell someone's story (I'm thinking Karen's)
throughout the tour on the left… and we show
the lessons, analysis, points on the right.
we'll take them thru her life, from childhood (where
she was abused and what she "learned / decided"),
thru her adulthood (and the pain and dysfunction it
caused), through ND (and what she processed / re-decided),
then the powerful results she's gotten since (grad
from college, great job, hub, etc)
whatchathink??
7.29.05 Christine Helman
starts Tour on page 1
with TofC as small links at bottom of each page
and 2 BIG, fun buttons
What's possible
*Why get 'In Touch' with your Feelings? (marked as
Next)
Concepts
Assumptions
What makes us tick: Events -> Meanings -> Feelings
-> Behaviours
4 Steps to Learning
6 Steps to Feeling and Healing
Categories of Feelings
The Anger -> Depression Connection
Now What?!?
I (now) have Personal Power!
Stop being a Wimp - find your internal courage, strength
and chutzpa
Quit your Bitchin' - feel like you're negative or down
on most things. Guess what? people don't really want
to be around that for very long. Or if they do, it's
people who are also negative and discouraging, or people
who give too much, without boundaries and wimpy, too.
The negativism is Anger, and lack of Trust, and lots
of hurt. It's not "natural", it's Learned
behaviour -- fueled by unexpressed Feelings -- and
CAN be rectified.
good news: your outlook, attitude, energy and behaviours are all things that
you have TOTAL 100% control over - Just learn How.
Be Happier and More Successful - there is no doubt that learning about your
feelings will make you happier and more successful. We've seen it happen, and
we've Experienced it personally… I can't give any better testimonial
than that. In fact, there's no way it Can't work. Once you understand yourself
better, you will Automatically start doing things in a "better" way.
If you don't Realize some of the Choices you have in many areas of your emotional
life, IF YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CHOICES ARE, YOU CANNOT MAKE GOOD
DECISIONS.
"We cannot make decisions about things we are Unaware of."
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
And, when you do realize your choices, it'll be Much easier to make the right
choice. Awareness is the 1st key to change.
bad news: once you're Aware of what you're "up to", you've gotta
change it.
Ok, How much is it?
---
"
honoring the past, celebrating the present, realizing
the future."
- ICF
---
add the 3 Purposes to the weekend to the website.
write the Tour
---
Ability to Control our Lives
Physical 60-80%
Emotional 80-100%
Spiritual 100%
Financial 60-80%
---
Feedburner Animator Code: scrolls thru last 5 blog
entries 7.6.05
<
a href="http://2gethelp.blogs.com/takingcontrol/"><img
src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/TakingControlOfYourFeelingsAndEmotions.gif" height="67" width="200" style="border:0" alt="Taking
Control of your Feelings and Emotions"/></a>
---
CEU's
NASW - Nat'l Assoc. of Social Workers
connect there
networking group
do a presentation to the group
who does education programs?
www.naswca.org
---
I thought I had it, but there's more.
The Happiness Factory
You're going to use an assessment tool to test your current level of Happiness
in certain areas.
Take it before the course, then again After the course, and compare your results.
If you can honestly say that you are not Happier after the course, you can
have your money back. period.
call me crazy, but I'm that sure that this stuff works.
If I don't perform for you, then you don't have to pay. you might want to leave
a portion for overhead but that's my offer.
all our products and services are reasonably priced… less than most… so
more can enjoy the fruits of our work.
similar coaching programs like this sell for $795 - $1,495
ours is only $99 a month for 3 months.
that's a steal.
you get a personal coaching call, worth that by itself, in most coaching circles.
I know a coach personally who charges clients $1,000/mo. just to talk to him
once a week… and he's got plenty of clients, 'cause he's worth it! But
he's also going for high-end business and I'm trying to help the everyday man
and woman. most of us don't have the $300-$500 most coaching practices charge.
Try this program. If after the 90 days you appreciate the incredible power
of the Coaching / Teaching model, you'll likely want to hire your own coach.
try it now, decide later.
---
in response to a new member who said: "just joined
yesterday, so I haven't read everything yet, but I
have read enough to know that this might be a good
place to hang out for awhile."
"My name is Shannon, I'm 28 and live in Illinois.
You are right, by the way, this is a wonderful place
to "hang out". For me, it's a private community,
or family, only unlike any I've known before. Here
I am safe to be myself, express what I'm thinking and
feeling (without fear of judgement). Some people may
offer encouragement, insights, on occasion a suggestion
or two, but it's always offered out of love and kindess.
No ulterior motives. I feel safe here, and hope one
day you will too. "
05.31.05 Laclair
Link to thread called "Introducing Myself".
(try it at typesize = 333!)
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp/_notifications.msnw?type=msg&action=showdiscussion&parent=1&item=2436
Same link, typesize = 0
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp/_notifications.msnw?type=msg&action=showdiscussion&parent=1&item=2436
---
Feelings Builder Wheel - assessment/coaching tool
8-piece pie chart
Personal Responsibility
Awareness
Acceptance
Expression
Releasing - letting go, forgiving,
Replacing - filling up
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Happy
Depression
(if you as a coach don't know it, don't use it as part of the pie chart.)
---
Give me 1 weekend and I can TURN ON your feelings and
your Life!
Give me 1 weekend and I can show you how to Take Control
of your Feelings and your LIFE!
- mcp
Give me 15 weeks and I’ll help you get all the
clients, sales and revenue you want.
- MP
---
classified - coaches public
Clients feeling shut down or stuck? Feeling shut down
or stuck in anger, fear or depression?
Emotional Breakthrough Workshop.
Profound changes in one weekend.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
---
Tips, tricks & wisdom on how to take control of
your feelings and emotions, sign-up here
---
CE listing: http://www.bbs.ca.gov/pdf/celist.pdf page
23 of 59
PCE 3406 Fresno Youth Advocates docd@familycommcenter.org
2560 W Shaw #101 Fresno CA 93711 559-431-0500
http://www.bbs.ca.gov/pdf/cechart.pdf
---
www.HoffmannInstitute.org, 8 day class in Napa
good wording: http://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/process.html
"The Hoffman Process: The World-Famous Technique
that Empowers You to Forgive Your Past, Heal Your Present,
and Transform Your Future"
"The New Directions Process: The life-enhancing
techniques that Empower you to Forgive your Past, Heal
your Present and Transform your Future."
---
Cheryl Nolan describes class:
"you know how some people don't feel very good
about themselves or don't know how to have positive,
value-for-value relationships? Well, I help people
feel better about themselves, create closer, more loving
relationships and take more control of their emotional
lives".
I help people realize that any behavior quirks they
have are rooted in their family of origin and that
realization and a little experiential emotional work
will see them clear and out the other side able to
make new choices.
---
Do a comprehensive Info Kit, free download
offer THAT on TCOYF.
---
Want to connect with others better? Want people to
listen to you, and actually Hear you? Need a safe
place to just totally be yourself, whatever you're
feeling? Come check out our 2GetHelp online Support
Group -- it's growing into a very cool place to be.
I've never seen a place that sets such a good example
of Positive communications and listening from the Heart.
people are kind and loving there, and accepting of whatever bugaboos each of
us has.
There's no fee, ever. Everyone there is totally voluntary.
Come read some of the Messages.
If you like what you see and feel, Join us.
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
---
put your comments into the site.
Blog
each week gets a blog entry
so people need to subscribe to the blog…. wow, how unusual!
wonder how MP does it.
1. Write the copy, once, using the template.
2. Put it in the AR to be sent out on Tuesday.
3. Make it a Blog entry on the site.
look at the sticky stuff on the right side… these
are all blog entries, not other resources/sites
I think I should go to 3 columns. My entries are pretty
short, so they could be squished a bit.
easier to read links on left… new links.
---
Who's the target market for ND?
People who are unhappy and believe there's more to
life.
People who know they are Angry much of the time, and
are sick of it.
timid people
scared people
frightened people.
angry people
rageful people
mean people.
bitter people
Send us your wretched...
unhappy people
disgruntled people
discouraged people.
people who feel bad about themselves
people who are down on themselves
people who don't like themselves.
people who hate their lives
people who hate their family
people who just hate.
people who want to love more
people who want to be more open
people who want to be more present and available.
people who want to feel closer to others
who want to be intimate
to connect.
people who want to love more fully then they've always
imagined but haven't felt yet
people who are sick of feeling down, ready for something
different
people who are ready for a change, a big change, a
wonderful change.
---
Do a page JUST for the Feelings Revolution
---
I get knocked down,
but I get up again.
You're never gonna keep me down.
I get knocked down,
but I get up again.
You're never gonna keep me down.
- "Knocked Down"song , __
---
actually, marketing in only the US is foolish.
you think WE don't have the resources… there are other countries who
have NOTHING to help them.
We need to keep our international customers in mind, as I already have some
I'm talking to/working with.
---
4.5.05 (!)
very nice day.
got 3 calls singing HB to me!
and lots of emails and cards!
and hugs, too!
---
yet ANOTHER benefit of Feelings, the ND way...
severe Lack of EGO
we don't have to Prove ourselves to anyone BUT ourselves. That means we have
Total Control over "Proving Ourselves", which is one of the top life-trashers!
---
Free conference call numbers, 1st one there creates access code.
25 people, 3 hours max
http://www.freeconference.com/ViewNumbers.asp
712-824-4333
775-533-8340
716-566-6067
585-295-5551
---
here's a cool LongSalesLetter page… (referred by T. Harv) William Harris
http://www.centerpointe.com/
(use my many writings ABOUT ND as setoffs -- include a graph or chart, or two,
too)
I like how he used regular fonts and dark colors thru
most, with a few words bolded and then the
OFFER
set off in white boxes, with Click here…
as you scroll down (the really long letter) you'll find supporting links which
only popup small windows (real support)
signed at bottom, with small picture.
P.S.: Remember, you receive $276.88 worth of materials for only $159, plus
$9.00 S&H ($34 S&H outside the US and Canada). If you're not 100% impressed
by the results, just send it back within one year and we'll cheerfully refund
your money. Plus, you can keep all the free bonuses as my gift to you just
for trying this powerful program.
If you prefer to order by phone,or if you have any questions, call: (800-945-2741
or 503-672-7117)
Get Mind Chatter, our monthly
newsletter! Simply enter your
email address below and click
"
Subscribe" It's FREE!!If you're still not convinced to give Holosync a
try, here's how you can get a FREE DEMO Soundtrack. Simply click here and a
popup survey will appear. Answer a couple of quick questions and give Bill
the address where you want Bill to send your FREE DEMO CD.
If you're still not convinced to give Holosync a try, here's how you can get
a FREE DEMO Soundtrack. Simply click here and a popup survey will appear. Answer
a couple of quick questions and give Bill the address where you want Bill to
send your FREE DEMO CD.
Start Here Newsletter Support Demo Purchase About DU
---
3.30.05
Ready to Feel Better?
For a FREE 7-part e-course on how to take control of your feelings and emotions,
sign-up here.
4.4
Are your feelings out of control? Ready to feel better? Personalized "Taking
Control of Your Feelings & Emotions" coaching programs available to
help you Feel Better for good! I'll guide you, teach you, encourage you, laugh
with you and cry with you. Click here for more…
The very best way I can help you is in-person, in the intensive workshop setting.
In these small-group seminars (25 max) you will get personallized attention
and specific tools that work for YOU, based on your situation and your background.
You WILL feel better in one weekend -- Guaranteed! These workshops for adults
and teens are offered monthly in California.
---
http://www.thinkbigrevolution.com/
---
I have a wonderful situation -- MOST of my best friends,
are also clients.
AND Most of my clients are now considered my Friends!
---
How to make decisions that align your head and your
heart.
---
Take control of your Feelings, Take Control of Your
Life. Matt's been teaching intensive, emotional-breakthrough
workshops for over 18 years. Here, in a blog format,
he shares some of his insights and learning in how
to understand, manage and enjoy your Feelings & Emotions.
http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
---
Alan Jackson
"Faith, Hope and Love are some great things He gave us
and the Greatest is Love."
- Where were you (when the world stopped turning)
maybe it's:
Love really is the Answer!
lookup Love on overture (again).
---
"
If you liked that, you're gonna Love this!"
- mcp
---
I gotta get my picture taken in many poses.
many with arms up
Yahoo! whoa, how about doing each Feeling.
I'm not an actor.
I just have control over my feelings.
I can access my sadness and let it get bigger and let it make me cry.
I can easily access my Anger tool. (I like that one, 'cause I feel soooo POWERful
when I use it!)
I have to use it wisely, but I'm often surprised at how useful it's been to
me.
I can even allow Depression.
as Karen taught me, depression can be used to your advantage.
as a place to rest, to rejuvinate, to heal.
and while you're healing, it's cool to feel nothing whatsoever.
for awhile.
Time limits are the key. Make sure you don't let it linger, or it could take
hold.
set a timer. have someone call you at a set time.
---
Do a movie about Feelings, and Life
REFUSE to believe that life is only enjoyable on the
weekend.
BELIEVE that you can control your feelings, your future
and your life.
That’s what "Work Your Life" is all
about.
Movie: http://www.scottstratten.com/movie.html
---
03.21.05, again 3.26.05 (as sign-ups on 3.22-23 were
highest with this wording)
Get free lessons via email.
Learn how to
understand, manage and enjoy
your Feelings & Emotions.
Ready to feel better?
Sign-up here...
03.20.05
Taking Control of our Feelings & Emotions
Let's talk about Feelings. Let's explore them, deal
with them and learn to enjoy all of our body's feelings
and emotions! Get rid of yucky feelings (anger, fear
and depression) and replace them with Happy ones (joy,
love & personal power). Success is not the key
to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success!
Let's talk about our Feelings. Let's explore them,
deal with them and learn to enjoy all our feelings
that are Life! Get rid of yucky feelings and replace
them with Happy ones. Success is not the key to Happiness.
Happiness is the key to Success!
Learn how to
understand, manage and enjoy
your Feelings & Emotions.
Get free lessons via email.
---
NDW
http://www.powerplateusa.com/technology/works.aspx
History
How & Why it Works
Benefits
FAQs
Testimonials
NDW, 3.16.05
Month Daily Avg Monthly Totals Hits Files Pages Visits Sites KBytes Visits
Pages Files Hits
Mar 2005 204 161 39 30 421 77712 458 591 2425 3072
Feb 2005 164 110 37 26 582 68640 740 1040 3093 4592
Jan 2005 103 74 24 17 479 50316 540 771 2305 3220
Dec 2004 98 73 25 12 396 33729 400 789 2287 3047
Nov 2004 48 35 17 8 232 24242 244 515 1053 1448
Oct 2004 56 33 20 11 287 24345 368 624 1041 1743
Sep 2004 54 40 13 9 267 35899 299 399 1224 1633
Aug 2004 66 49 15 10 312 50714 326 486 1547 2059
Jul 2004 34 23 10 6 183 18176 201 326 729 1076
Jun 2004 39 24 8 5 128 23189 174 241 728 1197
May 2004 29 17 6 3 116 15179 113 200 539 926
Apr 2004 10 6 2 1 45 6794 50 78 192 304
Totals 428935 3913 6060 17163 24317
3.16.05
Want Love & Happiness? Learn how to deal with your Feelings & Emotions!
,Want Love & Happiness? We must understand our Feelings & Emotions!
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success! Want
to be Happy? Sick of feeling angry, scared or depressed? Want more Joy and
Love in your life? Learn simple, practical, life-enhancing emotional tools
that are completely FREE. We're life coaches and we can show you how it's done...
simply and powerfully!
3.15.05 (after ND)
Want Love & Happiness? You must understand your Feelings & Emotions!
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success! Want
to be Happy? Sick of feeling angry, fearful or depressed? Want more Joy and
Love in your life? Learn simple, practical, life-enhancing emotional tools
that are completely FREE! We're life coaches and we can show you how it's done...
---
develop the site WITH people, getting feedback along
the way.
---
table above, table right with list of "Transitions",
issues, problems
http://www.renewyourcareer.com/
big coaching at: http://dashlive.com/coaching.html
---
Elevator Speeches
Identify and Summarize
1. Target Market
2. What are their Problems
3a. List how you solve these problems and provide unique
solutions
3b. Include the most dramatic WOW results that you,
or your clients have achieved, using your message
4. Deepest Benefits your clients can enjoy
Long: MP's "great question"
well, you know how __ (1) go looking for __ (2), but
they wind up frustrated, disillusioned...
do you know people like that?
they people are feeling bad--- and they just want to
give up
what I've done to solve these problems
in the 7 keys to booking yourself solid
they helped me __ by
I also offer easy, free, self-help products
the benefit they get is enourmous -- they feel better
___, they have Passion again, which they had lost.
Mid
1, 2, 3 - question - You know how (target market)
do, are or feel (problems)?
answer
4, 5 - one more line - What I do is (offer). The benefit
to them is enormous! They (Benefits)
Short
I help soloprofessionals book themselves solid.
Matt's 2nd shot (after Terry's good feedback -- thanks,
dude.)
Long:
Well, you know how some smart, successful people are
very successful in some areas, but are often frustrated
or hurting in other areas of their lives? They might
wake up with fears, are angry about their situation,
or frustrated with their kids or wife or husband. They
try to create successful marriages and families along
with the demands of business and career... it's tough...
trying to juggle it all, people wind up unhappy, estranged
from their family, distant from their kids, or distracted
and lackluster in their job... all of which serve to
frustrate and isolate them.
Do you know anyone like that?
The people I've met often get discouraged and it makes
them want to give up on trying to put it all together.
They can't even focus on building their career when
they're hurting at home.
We've found some really simple, practical Tools to
help people become totally AWARE of their Feelings,
to be able to Identify them, to Accept them, to Learn
the lessons their bodies can teach them and to Express
them fully, completely, in a way that brings Healing
and Release, PASSION and success in all areas!! (big
smile!)
The New Directions teachings have helped me feel so
much better about myself and my life -- oh, I was sooo
clueless, and unhappy, and really down on myself. I
had to start going to a therapist all the way back
in 6th grade, and then again in High School. Both were
unable to teach me a bloody thing. How different my
life would have been if either of those Drs were able
to teach me what I know now about relationships, family
and creating the love I need.
To get started, I also offer some powerful free resources
-- a blog site with my teachings, a class by email,
a really loving online support group. People can learn
some of the lessons slowly. Then, if they need additional
help, I can work with them directly to really make
a difference in how they live their emotional lives.
The benefits people get are really quite amazing. People
feel better. They get sick less. They kick butt in
their career. They create loving relationships... and
best of all, they get back the excitement about getting
out of bed in the morning and facing their day!
do you know anyone who's in a situation like that?
Mid:
Well, you know how often smart, successful people
are hurting because of failed marriages, estranged
kids, frustrating careers or other painful subjects?
This pain can often be a real distraction and put a
heavy burden on their heart and mind.
What I do is teach people how to Understand and Take
control of their Feelings and Emotions.
They feel better. Their relationships work better.
They are Happier in their life, and more efficient,
confident and clear in their jobs.
do you know anyone who's in a situation like that?
Short:
I help people who aren't feeling as good as they want
to, feel significantly better about themselves, their
lives and their hope for the future!
(feedback is much appreciated.)
---
in fact, we've differentiated between people who have had Negative Programming
(like they've been Trashed by someone, verbally, or physically and told they
were nothin' and nooobody.) and those people, like me, who had a Lack of
Programming. My parents didn't know how to do it, so they couldn't teach
me. You can't teach something you're not aware about. Before the 1960's,
people wouldn't have known a Feeling if it jumped up and bit 'em! It took
some heavy drugs and radical hippies to start realizing that Feelings really
do exist…remember, Peace, Joy, Love? Well, we've found that Love really
IS the answer. We want to feel as much Love as we can possibly stand! But
we can't have JUST Love. It's a package deal. If you want to Feel Love, then
you must Feel. And if you Feel, you're gonna feel the 'other' feelings, as
well. For me, and lots of others, it's WELL WORTH IT. I feel so much MORE
LOVE then I do Anger and Fear and Sadness. And I'm no longer Afraid of my
feelings and I know how to handle and identify and express my negative feelings,
Release them, and sure enough, the natural GOOD FEELINGS SURFACE AUTOMATICALLY!
---
It's not a trick.
I can't charge you for teaching you that concept.
There is no charge for learning, practicing, experiencing,
enjoying, challenging, exploring
and for the more advanced, there's modifying, creating and eliminating
Feelings are Fun, and Amazing, and Make Life Worth
Living!
Feelings are FREEEEEEEEEEEE entertainment.
Sit and listen to your heart for a few minutes and
you'll see what I'm talking about.
Ask yourself just 1 question: "What am I feeling
right now?"
not How or Why or I shouldn't be…
Just an inquisitive WHAT am I feeling right now?
and let the answers come to you.
it may get uncomfortable.
I almost guarantee you will shift positions in your chair.
What ARE you feeling right now?
Do you know?
Can you Identify your different Feelings?
Try to take them apart. You can't do as much with
a big mess -- "I feel like shit" doesn't
tell you anything -- it gets Overwhelming that way.
But if you can take them apart, and identify them,
you can work with each one in more managable chunks.
Try identifying, do you feel
- Sad
- Fear or Afraid
- Anger, Rage
- Depressed, blue, hopeless, powerless
When you can answer What am I feeling right now?
then listen to them, experience them, feel them, allow them
try to even Enjoy them
ask yourself: "what is this feeling trying to tell me?"
DON"T FIGHT IT!
just let it ride.
the worst thing about Feelings is when we TRY TO AVOID and DENY our Feelings.
we can pull that off for awhile, even many years, but eventually we realize
that this ride stinks.
Fear is incideous.
it creeps in when you're not watching, and changes your life… without
your permission.
How many times have you just NOT done a little something here or there, 'cause
of fears and anxieties?
we all have. But add them all up and they’ve probably made quite a Huge
difference in your life.
Marriages that didn't happen. Jobs that never got applied for. Dances that
weren't attended. Teams that weren't joined.
When someone's problem is that they're real Angry all the time, well it's usually
pretty obvious that they're feeling that way.
Not so much with fear. Fear is quieter. more suttle. more damaging.
Here's what ?? said about this...
"
I'm not afraid of my Feelings anymore" quote
- ?? (JJ or Jen)
Anger and Hatred are Poisons and must be released,
or they will kill you.
Rage is the Explosion (or implosion) from unexpressed Anger.
Guilt will keep you punishing yourself.
Shame will tear you to pieces.
Sadness will break your heart.
Depression will steal your life away.
while…
Joy will SET YOU FREE!
PASSION will make your life worth living.
Love will ground you to the earth and give you people and family and serenity
Happiness will be come a way of life
Peace will bring you enlightenment and wisdom
Fun will bring you Laughter, the best medicine known to man
Medium:
Short:
I help people feel better about themselves and their lives.
3.3.5
---
do testimonials with audio.
like MP did on: http://www.90dayproduct.com/
---
Hi Liz:
Here's the 10-item scoop on ND.
1. We guarantee you will be Happy with your results.
(if you go thru the class and hate it, money-back,
no strings)
2. Like at Huge Group, we work on our issues and our
feelings, head-on. We don't just talk about them, we
DO them. (with awesome results). It can get scary sometimes,
but I and the group will be there for you, spiritually,
emotionally and physically, to help you face it and
Conquer it (best feeling in the world!).
3. We are the most loving, supportive, encouraging,
safe, accepting, powerful, wonderful, most Feeling
group of people you may ever meet (biased opinion,
of course!).
4. With Doc's guidance and teachings, we have found
some very Real ways to help people feel better, permanently.
It's a new way of life, a new way of thinking, that
can make profound, lasting changes in you and your
relationships. (we've been teaching this for 18 years
now, so I KNOW it works.)
5. Once you spend a weekend with us as a Student, you
become "Family". You are then welcomed into
our hearts and welcome back with open arms to any future
classes to help out (no charge).
6. Many choose to come back as a Student to ND a 2nd,
3rd and 4th time, some do it once a year (my wife Paula
and I have done it 8 times each over the years). Either
stuff builds up inside us, or as we grow we 'notice'
more issues we'd like to resolve. We call this Reviewing.
It's half-price and it's wonderful.
7. We will ask for an agreement of confidentiality
so what is said in the room stays in the room (very
important). If you then choose to share what you've
learned or write about your 'stuff' on this forum,
that's your choice, but we don't want anyone talking
about other people's stuff without their permission.
8. You will be asked to sign a standard Limit of Liability
agreement, that you understand that this is an Educational
experience, not therapy or a replacement for therapy,
you agree not to take any non-prescription drugs or
alcohol during the weekend and that you'll attend on
Friday evening, all day Saturday and all day Sunday
(graduation is Sunday night -- much fun and rejoicing).
9. There's a Course Information Sheet (CIS) which we
ask everyone to complete before class. It's 4 pages
and gives us (the instructors) a clearer picture of
who you are, how you were raised (your history) and
how we can best help you.
10. The class is about Feelings. We believe that knowing
how to identify, accept and express our Feelings is
the Key to finding, or better yet, creating Happiness.
We believe in Personal Responsibility -- that we are
in Control of our lives and responsible for our behaviours
and our results.
We insist on being Real at class. We will be Real with
you and you be Real with us, and we will be able to
accomplish GREAT things together.
Here is the main site:
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
but better yet, don't take my word for it -- see what
people are saying about their experience with ND, even
years later!
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
Here are the "sign-up" pages (with links
to pay, download the CIS, and other questions)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/order.htm
The next class in Fresno is March 11. Hope to meet
you then! (Gay already told me that she's excited about
you coming, so I'm excited too!)
Are you in?
---
"
People don't resist change. They resist Being changed."
"If we don't feel like we have control, we feel
like we're Being changed."
- KevinEikenberry.com
---
3.7.05 (after a weekend off)
Your Feelings controlling you, rather than you controlling
them? Too much anger, fear or depression? Want more
Happy, Joy and Love? Learn simple, practical, life-enhancing
emotional tools that are completely FREE! We're life
coaches and we can show you how it's done...
3.2.05 (after speaking with MP)
Want Happiness? You must understand Your Feelings & Emotions!
Are your feelings a mess? Stuck in anger, fear or depression?
Want to feel Happy for a change? Learn simple, practical,
life-enhancing emotional tools that are completely
FREE! We can show you how it's done…
and
WANT MORE?
Take Control of your Feelings,
Take Control of your LIFE!
Powerful, free lessons via Email.
Two new concepts per week.
and again: 2.28.05
Want Happiness? "Get a Grip" on your feelings & emotions!
Are your feelings a mess? Want to feel Happy for a
change? Learn simple, practical, life-enhancing tools
that are completely FREE! After years of teaching this
stuff, I can show you how it's done. Come see.
now: 2.27.05
The key to Happiness is to be "in touch" with
our Feelings and Emotions!
Want to get happy? Ready to feel better? Need to take
control of your emotional life? Learn tools that are
incredibly powerful, life-changing & completely
FREE! I'm a personal life coach. I'll show you how
it's done.
leftovers: We can't Heal what we can't FEEL! (not bad.
gutsy. nice use of keywords.)
The key to Happiness is to get a grip on your Feelings & Emotions!
The Key to Happiness is to "Get a Grip" on
your feelings & emotions!
was: 2.26.5
The Key to Happiness is understanding our Feelings & Emotions!
Do you control your Anger, Fear, Sadness & Depression,
or do they control you? Learn to control your feelings
and Happiness is yours!! We'll show you how (it's easier
than you think!)
--- (whoops, I'm back again. oh well)
I really should get more programming work done.
but it feels so much like I'm 'bout ready to BURST
onto the scene (well, get more popular, anywayz).
I'm excited. But I'm also concerned about disappointing
my current customers… 'cause I surely don't want
to do the work. but alas, I gotta. so quit whining
and get it over with. going...
---
I love Verdana. I'm so happy that it's one of the web
standard fonts.
---
um, guess what?
I think we are going to be changing the world even
more.
I think we are going to TRAINING Therapists. CEU Credits.
"
Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions"
Doc wants to persuade more therapists that Cognitive>Affective>Behavioral
Therapy- is the way to go.
I don't like how Therapy is often done. Not enough
emphasis and training on Feelings & Emotions… by
DOING THEM… not just by talking About them.
so i'm gonna help change that.
2.26.5
---
Face your shit and Deal with it
You wanna learn how to Feel, let's do it.
You wanna get rid of your Anger and Rage, then let's
GET IT OUT!
We do some lecture, but mostly we get down and Work.
There is no 'spare time' over the weekend. I wish I
had a WEEK to get these thoughts thru to you.
but I don't.
I only have a weekend. Then you're gone, back to your
life in the hood.
so I gotta CRAM a ton of learning into your system
in just 2.5 days. Can it be done?
see for yourself:
We have a bunch of testimonials (I didn't write them,
they just keep comin' in)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
and you gotta hear the way they Talk to each other in our online Group... the
way they support, and accept, and love each other
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
What's the only thing they have in common?
Most have been thru New Directions and it has changed their lives! If you want
to know more, just ask any one of them, they're Happy to talk about it. In
fact, many LOVE talking about it... 'cause it's changed their lives!
---
my writing style is getting bolder.
but I need to keep my tone down a bit, to inspire Warmth and Safety, as well.
what if I wrote about ND all out?
I want to create a community where we rock.
what are we gonna talk about?
once we're through part of the learning, out of survival, and doing ok, doesn't
the continuous pursuit Bore me?
not really.
I still love talking about it.
Mostly, I think I'd like to talk about Bringing it to Market.
creating content
---
good at making IPs, but need some good content?
I want us to teach people about Feelings and Emotions.
How to identify them, how to control them, how to manage
them to work FOR you, not against you. Feelings are
the engine that drives us. We may do what we can to
the outside to make it sportier and sexier, but the
real driver is underneath the hood, our Feelings and
Emotions that carry us, that drive us crazy, that make
life worth living!
We're talking about Attitudes, Intentions, Personal
Belief Systems, Values, Habits, Addictions, and Behaviours.
We're talking about re-arranging your internal makeup,
from the ground up.
An emotional Make-over!
---
idea: send emails out to people (AR), specifically,
pointing them to 1 post and asking for comments
Hey Matt,
Finding Perfection is easy after things get hard.
http://entreville.typepad.com/entreville/2005/02/finding_perfect.html
I look forward to reading your comments.
Ben
941.637.9077
---
As I read over it, I realized that it is exactly how
my fantasy of our relationship would look if everything
was in balance.
The card has a picture of Charlie Brown on it. Around
Charlie are little arrows with words:
pointing at his ear: "Ready to listen"
pointing at his right shoulder: "Crying allowed
here"
pointing at his left shoulder: "Good for leaning
on"
pointing at his hand: "Will hold your hand"
pointing at his arm: "Available for hugs"
pointing at his leg: "Will always stand by you"
pointing at his foot: "Ready to go the extra mile"
pointing at his back: "Behind you all the way"
pointing at a space on the card: "I'm ALWAYS here
is you need me"
This my opinion of how a Father should be for his child.
- AJ
---
NDers
------
Julie
Glynk
Doc
Karen
Steve/Cheryl
Dave
Carroll
---
frëe
---
Purposes of Doing the Statement
at New Directions
1. As a diagnostic tool to find out where students
are ‘stuck’
2. Areas of concern, or problems, are pointed out by
words in the Statement
3. To become aware that feelings can be expressed at
100%
4. Increase ability to adjust feelings, as appropriate
5. Chance to feel each feeling; to give greater awareness
of shifts in the body that occur with each new feeling
6. To teach students that they have control of their
feelings, rather than the feelings having control over
them
7. Learn patterns and behaviors that cause students
to victimize themselves
8. Experience the full range of feelings, and practice
those which are uncomfortable or unknown
9. Open the way for students to become aware of each
other and to share in each others’ process
10. Experience being fully listened to, in sound, intonation,
content and context, in order to feel cared for and
loved
11. Provide an opportunity for instructors to be able
to view, analyze and connect with students on an individual
basis
12. As a tool to provide feedback concerning communication
with others, including: congruency, connection, vocalization,
body language, eye contact and aliveness
---
posted 3/17/05
http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/subscribethanks.htm
The weekend seminar that will Rock your World - The
New Directions Healin' and Feelin' Workshop.
New Directions is a crash course in "How to Feel".
Both teens and adults will experience an amazing transformation
as they go through the 5 Steps to a Happier You. If
you want to feel "more" or you want to feel "better",
New Directions can help you "to the core" so
you'll enjoy tremendous, lasting growth in 1 short
weekend.
During the weekend
You won't be alone (we're all in it together, including
the instructors) but you won't get lost in the crowd
either. We keep the groups small (24 students max)
so that each person receives personal attention and
exactly the kind of support and guidance needed at
that time.
Through the use of some lecture, two visualizations,
and a series of intensive large & small group exercises,
the classes teaches you how Feelings work, what makes
people tick, and how we got to be the person we are
today. You'll come away feeling like you have more
Choices in how you wish to live your life from this
day forward. You'll be able to identify what feeling(s)
your body is feeling, accept yourself and your feelings,
and you'll have the practical tools you need to release
and replace negative feelings with positive ones. \
We turn Anger into Love, Sadness into Joy, and Depression
into Personal Power.
Results include:
Better communication skills
Powerful, not wimpy. Strong and tough, without being Cold. With personal Boundaries
and the strength and tools to uphold them.
Heightened Self-Awareness
Awareness alone can change your life for the better. Doc Downing's concepts
are ground-breaking and profound, and his textbook "Taking Control of
Your Life" is included with the class. Even if you've been "aware" for
some time now, I guarantee you haven't heard most of Doc's concepts. But once
you hear them, you'll wonder why you didn't think of them yourself. They are
simple, elegant and best of all, they WORK!
examples:
"Depression is Anger turned Inward."
"When we feel Guilty, we'll set ourselves up to be Punished."
"Negative emotions, expressed verbally as intensely as they are Felt, will
subside and are free to Change"
"Everything is your fault… if you're lucky." (because then you
have some control)
Acceptance and Forgiveness, of yourself and others.
Got some old grudges still eating at you? Still angry toward someone from your
childhood? We'll help you deal with your past, no matter what happened to you.
As a child we really are a victim. As an adult, we can choose to deal with
our pain, resolve old hurts and dissappointments, and then let it all go, not
stuffed, but cleansed.
Best of all, you'll be able to Feel, really FEEL - Feel Loved, Feel Happy,
Feel Connected, Feel Safe, Feel a Part of (not alone).
Once safety and trust are established, you can experience an Acceptance and
understanding of people (including ourselves) that is so freeing, healing and
validating. No games, no hidden agendas, no competition, just connection, sharing
and acceptance. (it's my favorite thing about class -- feeling Safe and Ok
-- like I always wanted my family of origin to be).
Text, lessons and ongoing support included.
After the weekend, you will have the ability to form close intimate relationships.
With your new emotional toolbox, you'll have improved self-esteem, closer relationships,
enhanced strength of character, and an ability to understand people like never
before.
What People Say
Don't just take my advice (though teaching this workshop for over 18 years
has made a HUGE, HUGE difference in my life), see what Graduates got out of
the class on the WhatPeopleSay page. Some of these testimonials were given
right after their class, while others were still glowing 10-15 years later.
The results are undeniable.
Here's a sobering thought:
Every dollar you have ever made,
and every dollar you will ever make,
is based on a Relationship with someone.
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the
key to Success.
---
New Directions Weekend Workshops - Our life-changing
personal growth seminar that will Rock your World!
With over 2,000 happier graduates over 18 years now,
you can make HUGE strides in your growth in 1 short
weekend. Heal and Feel. Live and Love. Rock and Roll
---
New Directions Weekend Workshops are life-changing
personal growth seminars for teens and adults. Through
some lecture and a series of intensive exercises and
sharing, people are able to learn practical tools to
identify, accept and express their feelings and emotions
in positive ways. Results include improved communication
skills, self-awareness and self-acceptance, and the
ability to form close intimate relationships. Text,
lessons and ongoing support included.
---
- Matt
(916) 599-8597
mailto:matt@2gethelp.com
http://www.MattPerelstein.com
The weekend that will improve your life forever:
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
Graduates share their stories and their rejuvination!
How to’s, lessons and writings:
http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
The gang's all here! We go online to support each other
to heal and grow:
http://Groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
---
what if I wrote like a reporter or announcer!
"
and here's LJ, getting in touch with her Anger:"
"
here's Gay give some nice, loving support to sad Ken."
---
Happy / Happiness!!
Good words, used a lot!
Fun, light, energetic
gotta do a Happiness test, so we can Pass it!
and others may not.
---
Do you control your Anger, Fear, Sadness & Depression, or do they control
you?
Learn to control your feelings and Happiness is yours!! We'll show you how
(it's easier than you think).
2.14.5
To find Happiness, we MUST understand our Feelings & Emotions!
Happiness is here! You must understand your Feelings & Emotions.
(2.9)
Want Happiness? Get free how-to's via email.
Do you control your Anger, Fear, Sadness & Depression,
or do they control you?!? -
Understand your feelings and your life will improve
dramatically! Learn How Here.
3.20.05
How to get Happy!<br>Free lessons via email.
How to feel Happy! Free lessons via email.
<
Subscribe>
Sick & Tired of<br>feeling Sick & Tired?<br>TAKE
CONTROL OF YOUR FEELINGS!</strong><br>We'll
teach you how.<br>Free eBook plus simple, powerful<br>lessons
via email.<
---
we give motivational seminars (not workshops)
according to overture, people more associate "seminars" with more
touchy-feely motivational, self-help, stress, etc. while "workshops" are
drier, like Art, puppet
---
Keywords
relationship (2.2M!) (4.21.05)
depression (416,000)
marriage (136,000) marriage counseling (38,000)
stress (97,000), stress relief, stress management
self help (107,000)
pain (85,000)
couple (72,000)
107426 self help
12318 self help book
1290 self help group
1269 depression self help
emotion (70,000)
156394 help
107426 self help
express (15,000), expression (15,000)
13332 growth
5962 personal growth
4653 professional growth
learn (28,000), learn english (4M)
171926 training
130034 career training
78555 online training
60973 management training
53913 training and development
happy, happiness (20,000)
feel (20,000) look feel (200,000?), feeling (6,000)
success (20,000)
anger (20,000), anger management (41,000), upside of anger (25,000)
sad (24,000), sad poem (47,000)
hurt (20,000), love hurts (64,000)
guilt (3,000)
after Overture research (2.6.05)
discipline, feeling this blink 182, success, success
quote, success story, my happy ending, happy new
year, happy birthday, happy face, parental control,
remote control, out of control, weight control, welcome
control, personal power, the power of love, girl
power, anger management, anger, anger control, anger
quote, controlling anger, dealing with anger, anger
problem, angry kid, angry, angry troops, angry face,
angry man, angry all the time, 12 angry man, sad,
sad song, sad love poem, sad quote, sad story, sad
girl, sadness, enigma sadness, sorrow, sorrow poem,
depression, manic depression, symptom of depression,
clinical depression, sign of depression, teen depression,
depression treatment, anxiety depression, depression
quiz, depressed, depressed quote, joy, joy to the
world, pride and joy, the joy luck club, sex (7.8M),
sexy, pain relief, stress relief, stress, stress
test, stress symptom, stress management, reduce stress,
victim, all to blame, we re all to blame, were all
to blame, msn emotions, emotions for msn, emotion,
community, support group, emotional intelligence,
emotional, seminar
---
self-discipline, www.PositiveDiscipline.com (Dr. Jane
Nelsen)
---
Actually, we don't DO much to you... we more listen,
and support, and guide, and encourage. The concept
is that we are all born pretty Happy and powerful and
Alive (like the little kiddos) but that hard times
and pain and unexpressed emotions weigh us down over
time. To get back the feeling of joy and freedom we
had as a child, "all we have to do" is get
rid of the yucky feelings and they will NATURALLY be
replaced with positive ones! (it works.)
It's the most loving, uplifting, safe, supportive
environment around and the opportunity for healing
is phenomenal. As I said, you will learn things about
your innerds -- your feelings and emotions, your beliefs,
your values, your attitudes -- that you were totally
unaware of (and therefore couldn't make decisions about).
We find that things we learned and decided as children
can be unconsciously still controlling our lives to
this day. Once we are aware, and fully in touch with
our feelings, we can make Conscious decisions about
how we want to live our lives, from this day forward.
Great stuff! (as you can hear, I'm jazzed about the
whole thing... and so are many others. See the following
link for what Real people (other than me!) say about
their experience.)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
---
Good Signup process: www.constantcontact.com
1. Sign-up here and receive the following downloads (.PDFs), check those you
wish to receive
2. Next page shows links to those checked.
7 .pdfs, with signup fields listed vertically down right side of every page
(no left NAV)
Flash-based Tour:
Title page, with TofC links
Benefit, benefit, benefit
<-previous next ->
8 pages, end with Sign Up Now!
Email Marketing 101 Webinar (audio)
A 22-minute presentation on the fundamentals of email marketing, available
on-demand.
Very clear that there is only 1 purpose of this site, to sign you up. Gives
plenty of info and benefits, but all toward 1 end.
Success Stories: Intro page with 1 featured quote and picture, with links to
12 more success stories.
sales wording, all Verbs: let, add, see, learn, take, confirm, download, email,
questions?
---
SENT TO GAY 2.2.5
---
We have a double sale here...
1. They don't understand how powerful and life-changing
it will be to be in control of their Feelings and
Emotions
2. They don't know that this mysterious subject could
be taught so completely in a weekend workshop.
Our challenge is to show them what's possible, in
an enticing way. We could be fun, challenging, envigorating,
passionate, sexy, alive, loving, intimate, extreme.
---
Extreme Emotions
Fantastic Feelings
---
some people tell themselves they are Happy, even if
they're not.
some even try to Prove it to themselves, in interesting ways.
but there might exist a bit of a stigma about that
word Happy.
but it's still the right word to use.
actually, they are Happy as they are comfortable-ness
if someone has a lower rating of Self Esteem, that's
the Highest rating of Happiness will be.
Shame is a pain, a constant draw/drain of energy
proud is an energy, an up-lifting, encouraging, from light breeze or power
storm
shame is a different energy, darker, heavier, vicisiously
I want to teach people, 1-1.
how to do this stuff.
I get in the classroom and it all just flows out of me. s or no.
I wish it were better organized.
have Sharon do it.
I'm bored with saying the same thing. oh, actually I hardly Ever say the same
thing.
I'd rather stammer and flail than say the same thing twice, in the same way.
wow, that feels really strong. a self-rebellion.
feels like I'd get Stuck somehow, sentenced to stay that way forever.
it's a fear-based control thing.
I hope I can get the Materials created to teach this
stuff for real.
to real numbers of people.
(while I'm so motivated to do so)
I know it's up to me, but I still hope that I don't start burning out.
---
How about doing it for free to $25
---
p, watch Rhonda… that's what's happening to you.
- Matt
---
K.A.E.R.R. :: The 5 Steps to Healing and Feeling
1. Know what you Feel.
2. Accept those Feelings are real, and they are the
essense of YOU.
3. Express them in positive ways - some soft, some
LOUD - few weak, very Strong.
4. Release the negative feelings that have been inside
your body for so long.
5. Replace the negatives with positives.
turn your Feelings
sad, depressed, angry - into Happy, Peaceful and LOVEing
and your Thoughts
shoulds, judgments & attitudes - into Wants, Goals and PASSIONs
from Negative to Positive
Same with Feelings and Thoughts.
If you have yucky Feelings, we want to Replace them with good, right?
Replace Sadness with Joy
Anger with Love
and Depression with Personal Power.
whoa.
1. When a baby get hold of something that they're
not supposed to have, you don't Yank the thing away
from them and tell them NO -- or you're guaranteed
to get screaming and hollerin', right? But if you can
get the thing away from the baby and immediately Replace
it with something they Can have, you'll get much better
cooperation. Do a quick switcher-o and they hardly
even notice, as their attention immediately focuses
on the new object. Replacement Theory.
2. We all have Shoulds and Judgments and Why's. Rather
than saying "Don't Should on yourself" (behaviour
reduction), say "Replace 'I Shoulds' with 'I Will'
or 'I will not'". I should mow the grass (sets
up resentment)… I will mow the grass (powerful,
non-victim statement)
3.
---
I'm smiling as big as my face will let me!
---
I'm a behaviouralist.
I don't analyze
I start with the Feelings,
go back to the Meaning behind the feeling
and find that the Behaviours all make sense.
Now express the pent-up Feelings,
allow the Meanings to change, from - to +
and wham, the Behaviours will Change!
I'd bet I could work with a team, as their Team Coach
go into the team, meet with them. work with them.
I wouldn't go sit in an office somewhere.
Doug, need any teams made better for the season?
studies show that just the fact that you are doing
something to improve teamwork, the teamwork will immediately
improve!
make sure they know that you care.
that you will be involved, as well
that you are doing this as a Benefit, a Service, for them.
all must participate for it to work.
---
Tour:
1. What it's about
2. Theories and Attitudes
3. Privacy and Safety
4. What's Possible!
5. Get Results
a testimonial on every page?
with a picture of each person, maybe huggin', maybe in the tunnel
Gay
Shaunna
Karen
Bill
LJ
…
Nice Tour example:
but, make Slide buttons links
and have a Previous button (smaller)
Continue or Next in upper left, not lower
nice use of pics and minimal wording per slide.
http://www.varatouch.com/technologyPresentation.html
---
you know what messes me up sometimes?
when I see how others have done it, first.
like the newsletter
or some ads
or a flyer
I see others, and that makes pictures in my head.
I then Limit my thoughts to stuff that would fit into
Other people's pictures.
I can easily justify it by saying that I am looking
at what works, before jumping in and making the same
mistakes these people have made.
I fight that ads and marketing are so often limited
thinking.
it's all about Attitude.
and Beliefs.
and Knowing yourself.
and knowing where your power comes from, and how to
weild it
sick of feeling like a Wimp?
tired of being a Victim to your life?
are you ready to stop your Feelings & Emotions
from controlling you?
are you Sick and Tired of being sick and tired?
we're not looking for Nice people. We're looking for
Real people.
are you in?
We're looking for people.
We're looking for the right people.
The people we Want to hang out with.
Real people. Honest people. Fun people.
you might party a bit. that's cool… as long
as You're in control of it.
you might not do everything you Should do… that's
fine… as long as you Know you're doing it
Conscious people.
Aware people.
semi-pissed people.
like us.
I'll put it right out there.
Here's us. You decide
the problem is that I am trying to say it the way they
can hear it.
- Matt
---
Control your Feelings, Control Your LIFE! 1.13.5 02:51
Do you control your Feelings or do they control you?!?
-
Get a grip on your feelings and your life will improve,
dramatically! Learn How Here.
---
Don’t ask, "what's cool?" they
Ask, "What would be cool?" me
There's such an important distinction between Selfishness
and Selfcenteredness
Selfish: according to MS Encarta
1. looking after own desires
concerned with your own interests, needs, and wishes while ignoring those of
others
2. demonstrating selfishness
showing that personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than
those of other people
Synonyms:
self-centered
self-seeking
self-interested
egotistical
egotistic
egocentric
Antonym:
altruistic
---
"
Ya don't know, until ya know. Ya know?"
- Crush Dude, Finding Nemo
---
do automatic RSS newsfeed with specific terms
taking control feelings
taking control emotions
feelings emotions
matt perelstein
---
what's a 4-letter word that starts with F
people want it so bad, they'd sit in line for hours
to get it
they'd drive great distances to have some
they have dreams about it
some people get wet thinking about it
it's the emblem of the new marketing world
it's the only sure way to get people's attention anymore
it's a you-give-first attitude that's prevailing the
current marketplace
the 4-letter word?
free
---
the generational lines are blurring, as the internet
Equalizes things.
---
title: How To Improve your Site by Using Stats and
Referrers in Typepad
exercpt: Want better search engine rankings? Find out
where your readers come from by leveraging Typepad's
powerful Stats and Referrers feature. Here's how I
do it.
categories: Blog Tools and Tips, Marketing and Promotion
---
I am always striving to see what people REALLY want
to know... not just what I think they want. To find
out the real story, I frequent the Stats and Referrers
page of my Typepad account almost every day.
From there I can see where every hit came from in
the last 24 hours. This information shows the web address
that referred them to my site -- it could be another
site (yay!), one of my sites, another Typepad site
that I've never heard of (remember, every time you
post, your listing goes on hundreds of sites that have
the Display New Blog Listings set to on). But the vast
majority of my hits are from a Search Engine link.
Within that link is the key to what my viewers really
want to know, the words they typed to get my listing
on Google, MSN, Yahoo! or others.
Let's say the Referring Address looks like this <a
href="http://www.google.rw/search?hl=en&q=how
to control feelings">www.google.com/search</a>.
In this case, the link reads:
<
strong>http://www.google.rw/search?hl=en&q=how
to control feelings</strong>
If you have View -> Status Bar on in IE, and you
hover over the link, you can see the link's real address.
Look at the bottom of the page and you'll see what
the person Actually typed in to get to your page. Another
option: Right-click on the link , choose Copy Shortcut,
and then paste it somewhere and save it.
This way, you can see exactly what the google-searcher
typed in: "<em>how to control feelings</em>".
If you then left click on the link, <strong>you
can see EXACTLY what your viewer saw on Google </strong>.
I look for:
- What showed up on the Search Engine about the site
- How the Title and Description look and read
- What rank my site was on the page (#1 in this example,
woohoo!).
- Tons of other sites about very similar subjects.
(they could be competition, which you need to know
about, or they could be most informative resources
for you)
I love this feature, but I sure wish Typepad kept
my history of referrers and let me download them or
something. I've asked both their support folks and
supervisors, and they all say, 'Maybe someday' (do
other services provide this?). Since Typepad nukes
this valuable information every 24 hours, I often copy
and paste the links on the entire Stats and Referrer
page, 20 at a time, and paste 'em into an email message
that I append to and save, over and over.
Anyway, if you want to <strong>know your people
and where they are coming from </strong>(literally
and figuratively), your Stats and Referrers page can
give a wealth of information -- try it!
http://desktop.google.com/
p.s - Since I have also downloaded and installed Google
Desktop loaded on my PC, the Google search page showed
me that I have "1,429 results stored on your
computer", in the form of emails, Word docs,
text files, etc. - another very powerful tool!
---
Good NDW ideas!
put audio testimonials on
put a few web addresses or phone numbers that people can call to actually Talk
to one of our Assistants.
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your
LIFE!!
Do you Understand and Control your Feelings & Emotions?
-- or do They control YOU?!?
Learn Here How to manage your feelings and SUCCEED
in LIFE!!
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your
LIFE!!
Can you understand and control your Feelings & Emotions?
Learn How Here.
Manage your Feelings, SUCCEED in LIFE!
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your
LIFE!!
Do you control your Feelings or do they control you?!?
-
Get control, feel better and LIVE! Learn How Here.
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your
LIFE!!
Do you control your FEELINGS or do they Control you?!?
-
Learn How.
Awareness, Identification & Expression.
Click here.
---
Domain mapping instructions!
http://help.typepad.com/panel/site_access.html#setting_up_domain_mapping
---
Do you control your Feelings? Or do they control you?!? -
Understand & manage your Feelings & Emotions.
We'll teach you how. Click here.
---
what's the #1 most provacative statement you can make
to your niche marketplace?
Sexier: 1.7.5 11:55p
Do you control your Feelings? Or do your feelings Control
you?!? -
Get a clue. I'll show you how! Click here.
"You can't Heal what you can't Feel"
Dry
This site teaches adults how to manage anger, calm
fears, and release sadness and guilt. Over 200 blog-style
postings provide links to free/fee-based workshops,
life coaching and educational materials.
---
Prospecting
which train do you want to go on:
Northbound - interested, but not money
Southbound - not and not
Westbound - no interest, but money
Eastbound - interest and resources
---
Unhappiness = not feeling the way you want to feel.
---
Articles to write
How to Feel
How to change your Anger into Love
How to change your Sadness into Joy
How to change your Depression into Personal Power
How to Feel ALIVE!
The first step, in all of these, is to Allow Your
Feelings!
---
PR: Emotional Support Help comes back to Sac!
I finish things that people will put to use immediately
it's not just about them giving me a deadline, esp. an artificial one
it's about them Using what I did, Depending on me (at least a little), Waiting
for me
---
oh.
Why you look so sad?
the tears are in your eyes
come on and come to me, now
don't
be ashamed to cry
let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side, too.
when the night falls on you
don't know what to do
nothing you'd confess
can make me love you less.
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.
so,
If your mad, get mad!
Don't hold it all inside
come on and talk to me, now
afraid
what you got to hide
I get angry too.
well I'm a lot like you.
when you're standing at the crossroads
don't know which path to choose
let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.
take me into to your darkest hour
I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
and when
when the night falls on you, baby
you're feeling all alone
walking on your own.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you!
take me into your darkest hour
I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.
...on and on…
I'll stand by you.
- "I'll Stand by You" The Pretenders, Last of the Independents album
---
FOCUS!
it's not funny
and it's not always fun
do it anyway.
do what Needs to be done
not just what you Feel like doing.
Set boundaries and goals and Focus
make a plan and work the plan
this has been an awesome time for PKP and I to just Be.
a time to heal, I hope.
and to grow.
we both had (/have) some growing up to do.
People can't get behind me, if they don't know which way I'm facing.
I continue to be baffled at how few people take us up on what we have to offer.
I don't understand how, when people have gotten what they've gotten from ND,
who say it has Totally changed their Life Experience for the better, and they
are forever grateful… and they even know that the more they come back,
the better they'll feel (and it's friggin' Free, for goodness sakes!)… WHAT
is it that scares people so much? or puts them off?
If they come to class, they thank us.
If they come Back to Assist others, they thank us.
If they come back and Review the class (take it again),
they thank us.
profusely and continuously
People say that the #1 most important and life-changing thing they've EVER
done in their lives, was to take ND.
(wtf, o?!?)
so where are they?
where are their parents, and friends, and kids?
why aren't they telling everyone they know?
why aren't they singing our praises from the rooftops?
(why aren't I, too?)
or better yet
How can I do it Better.
I'm ready to Yell.
I'm ready to tell people, in no uncertain terms, that
ND Will Change Their Life
in 1 weekend.
everytime (well, almost)
guarenteed (or your money back).
Ok, I'll say that.
I'll start screaming it.
but I have to scream "I", too!
send the post
be real
ask for help, again
you've gotten some good responses before
some were close to being successful Strategic Alliances
(don't need to 'read' the book, if I can make it happen anyway -- got the idea)
Strategic Alliances
in Sacramento
who?
make appts for next week
go there.
have Rachel stay at KC's
get Sac phone book
look on www.SacramentoMidtown.com
talk to Cliff, Scott, Julia, Aine,
dude, this stuff Works, so we gotta tell people!
I'm not shitting you… in 1 weekend, you WILL FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR LIFE!
even people who don't come through the class with HUGE lightbulb,
People go from SHUT DOWN --> FEELING
people go from DOWN & DEPRESSED --> HOPEFUL
and ALIVE
people go from ANGRY & BITTER & RAGEFUL --> UNDERSTANDING,
COMPASSIONATE & GENTLE
we've seen it over and over again.
Once people are able to BLAST OUT their yucky Feelings & Pictures
(emotional, right brain)
+
add a better understanding of HOW FEELINGS WORK, where
they Come From, how to Relieve them (logical, left
brain)
=
Allowing, accepting, identifying, understanding, expressing,
honoring, learning, Feeling, LIVING!
damn, dude, what have you got to lose?
What if you only achieve 1/2 of what I'm claiming?
what are you out?
Be different. Stand out. Make it so. Be brave.
I don't think I'm doing my job, if you don't think
the money was worth it!
If after you take the class, you only believe you
got $199 worth of value from it, I will refund you
the other $200.
If you thought it sucked altogether, and you didn’t
learn a thing, then I don't deserve your money. I'll
return it.
BELIEVE dude.
Believe you are doing the right thing, then go out
and YELL IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!
make a stand.
decide who you are, specifically, write it down ("Write
On!") and let 'em know.
why? because it's right.
because it's my destiny.
You have seen TOO MANY people have the same experience
over 17 YEARS -- that's a LOT.
check the damned Testimonials. they don't lie. I didn't ask those people to
say those things… I asked a few of them what they thought, but I didn't
put those words in their mouths… they did that. Voluntarily. 'cause it's
real, for them. they just talked about their own opinions, experiences and
feelings (none of which are every debatible) (which is also one of the #1 main
points of the class, so Yahoo, they got it!)
NDers don't blame
NDers don't whine
NDers get pissed
NDers cry
NDers are in control of their feelings and emotions
NDers are in control of their lives!
NDers are the happiest, most aware group of people I've ever met!
Personal Responsibility is the Key!
"
Everything is your fault…
if you're Lucky."
- Doc Downing
"If it ain't your fault, there ain't nothing
you can do about it!"
- matt's corolary
do the Tour!
I'm the host, but Doc is above me, and so are therapists
and others professionals.
serve
just cause they're pros, doesn't mean they have a clue how to do their Feelings.
I'm just a lowly servant, trying to spread the word
and make a buck.
I don't need that much.
we gotta pay for our home (1st and always), the motorhome, some monthlys, the
help and the expenses of the class… but not much more.
not yet.
I believe this is going to catch on so incredibly we’ll soon be able
to do what Thomas did with CoachVille.
He made so much money in the first 3 years ($5M) that he made the site completely
Free from then on.
with more people and more money, we'll be able to help more people
we'll be able to do more
You could run your Life very well, and not have a Clue
about what you're Feeling, or what to do about your
Emotions and Moods.
You Life could be a mess, but you could be extremely
Happy.
List your favorite Feeling song.
Where were You (when the world stopped turning), Alan Jackson
Love can Build a Bridge, The Judds
We Are the World,
Unconditional Love, Donna Summer
Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it? Heavy D & the Boyz,
MTV Party to Go CD
---
Write up the coaching program
go to Chiros and others with a Partnership proposal.
how can we help you?
if someone goes thru class, $59
if someone signs up for monthly coaching, $29/month
if someone buys the 3-month package, $179
find salepeople who already sell to these folks
call and ask if I can send them an email (so it's
not Spam)
do an Email campaign to each of those listed
if no email listed, call 'em.
maybe it could help you or your staff or your patients… and
maybe not.
this could be a cool Resource for you to help your
clients
and it could even be a Money-maker for you, as well.
May I send you and email then.
I got your number from SMT.com and I have your email
as __
Thanks for your time. Expect an email in the next
___ from New Directions Workshop.
take care.
- Matt
Resource to help you help your clients
Call Tim G. for a testimonial!
done, 1.4.5
---
so you've been sitting here, on your ass, for over 2 years now.
and what do you have to show for it?
better at internet
but
better project manager
calmer
more organized
more professional (in most cases)
still a juggler.
still a sheister
have some TCOYF stuff done
but nothing really to show for it.
Top things I could do
PR on TCOYF
coaching
coaching "program"
talk to folks in bulk
coaching chapter in Sac
therapy orgs
other organizations
ART - 4 sessions so far
Jenn and Shawn paid $1500
Michele paid $750
Gay paid $50
yippee
FOCUS!
it's not funny
and it's not always fun
do it anyway.
do what Needs to be done
not just what you Feel like doing.
Set boundaries and goals and Focus
make a plan and work the plan
this has been an awesome time for PKP and I to just
Be.
a time to heal, I hope.
and to grow.
we both had (/have) some growing up to do.
I'm still not clear about the me vs. them Focus.
that's been one of my biggest challenges.
(at least I'm aware of it now. and doing better at it, too)
How much is me?
Who is me?
what do I share?
who gives a damn?
why should I?
I busy with stuff that matters, you know.
TCOYF&E eBook
ND coaching program
goto Orgs and announce it.
we're not perfect… heck, we're all over weight,
almost every one.
interesting.
I'd say that Most of the people in ND are a bit, to
a bunch, over weight.
hmmm..
a few exceptions, but most of the core group.
so, let’s Spin that.
we're not perfect.
but we're mighty Happy!
We can control and manage our feelings, our behaviours,
our mouths, our energy
our attitude
our responsibilities
1. I want to Feel:
2. My attitude about this Situation will be:
3. What I choose to learn about this is:
4. Yep, I'm afraid of __, __, & ___.
Now I get to decide which, if any, I am going to let influence my behaviour.
I know the object of my fears, how intense they are, whether I am in a life-threatening,
or potentially life-threatening situation, whether my Fears are trying to actually
Stop me, Warn me or just Let me Know that I'm on new ground here.
If I'm don't spend at least part of my day Afraid, that means I'm getting to
comfortable and soft.
Every day I challenge myself to do something I'm uncomfortable about doing.
---
my really good stuff… I haven't written yet.
I probably need to release everything I had written.
You know why I gave up so easily the other day? 'cause
I don't really have a plan for how I'm going to put
all this into fruition.
TCOYF
TCOYL
textbook
workbook
website of teachings
workshop
coaching
schedule ART in Sac.
If you want Paula, you gotta go to ART.
make her more mystic.
create some buzz around the Jan. 13 event.
make it sexy
make it fun
come Back to Sac in a BIG way!
get the grads talking about it.
do something Big, or out of the ordinary!
ideas?
ART is 4 weekends over a year, 3 in Sacramento, 1
in Fort Bragg.
Fort Bragg event, all ART classes come at once
tents and outdoor cooking
even a Band on Saturday night
late Spring or early Fall
$399/weekend x 4 = $1,596 Get all 4 at once for $987, plus a free ND certificate
($399 value)
(commission $179)
Anyone who refers someone to ND will get the commission!!
that's what Thomas did with CoachVille.
it was $79 to join, and whoever referred you got a check for Half of it (everyone)
$39.50
so people were paying to Advertise CoachVille, out of their own pockets
I did too. Just when Thomas decided he'd made enough money ($5M) and CoachVille
was officially FREE from then on. (I have the original R&D emails when
he started thinking about it, wrote a post or two about the idea and then wham,
it was done.
give away tons of great, original, money-making stuff, for Free from now on.
and the money-back is less commission.
make it obvious.
scream it out.
We're an incredibly effective, reasonably priced
when you refer someone to ND
and get your tuition BACK.
Anytime after the class, you will be paid $179 for
anyone you refer to ND. everyone.
If you refuse the commission, the $179 will be added to the ND Scholarship
Fund to help pay for those who need some help.
a 16-page document warrants an Outline or Table of
Contents.
I suggest finding a link for
---
I guess I needed to get this off my chest. Helps to
write it down. stops the swirling, sometimes.
---
Every limiting thought becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's true because you say it's true. And if you don't
question your thoughts, they will continue to control
your destiny.
The technique called "The Work" that I learned
from Byron Katie and have used with surprising (and
almost immediate) results works as follows:
---
The insidious thing about limiting thoughts is that
we don't really think them. They think us. That is,
we identify with them so completely that they become
the gospel truth to us - even as they undermine our
best intentions in life and in work.
First, write down a limiting thought like the ones
I've listed above. Then ask the following four questions,
writing down your answers. Do it slowly, really pondering
before you give an answer:
1. Is this thought true? (Or is it just a thought
you've attached
to?)
2. (If yes, or not sure) Can I absolutely know that
it's true?
3. How do I react when I think that thought?
Make a long list of your actions, behavior feelings
and other thoughts that arise in the wake of the
original thought.
4. Who would I be without that thought?
If you were facing a marketing challenge, such as writing
an article, and you simply could not have the thought, "I'm
not a good marketing writer" how would things
be different?
Finally, turn the thought around.
That is, state the limiting thought in reverse: "I
am a good marketing writer." And then ask yourself
if that new statement is just as true or truer than
the original. You may be surprised by your answer.
---
Top 10 Reasons to come to New Directions in 2005.
10. Make a commitment to change your life for the better
9. Become aware of what you are feeling, and why
8. Get in touch with your feelings and emotions
7. You could significantly help another person heal
6. Become a nicer, more understanding person
5. Learn relationship and communication Boundaries
4. Clean-up past feelings that are still haunting you.
3. Find your Personal Power, your Courage and your
Joy
2. Release pain, anger, sadness and depression
...and the very Best reason to take ND in 2005…
1. Control Your Feelings, Control Your LIFE!!
---
GREAT ARTICLE!
Research and theory on emotions has waxed and waned
over the history of psychology. The behavior revolution
inspired by B. F. Skinner and the subsequent cognitive
revolution saw interest in emotion seriously undermined.
However, beginning in the 1980s and accelerating into
the present, interest in emotions has enjoyed a robust
resurgence across a wide range of subdisciplines within
psychology, neuroscience, and the health sciences-especially
the renewed focus on positive psychology, well-being,
and mind/body medicine.
http://www.eiconsortium.org/research/ei_issues_and_common_misunderstandings.htm
---
http://www.webstrategies.cc/emotional_intelligence_test.htm
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN EQ IS LOW?
Low EQ is expensive in terms of lost money, opportunity,
time, relationships, promotions, careers, projects,
goals, accomplishments, self-esteem, marriages, physical
and emotional health, and even life. The good news
is that there is no need to have low EQ. EQ can be
learned and improved over a lifetime and you can start
right away, no matter how old you are.
These are some of the results of low EQ.
–
75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to
emotional competencies.
–
70% of the reasons why customers and clients are lost
are EQ-related.
–
50% of time wasted in business is due to lack of trust.
–
Seniors get worse in hospitals when the physical therapists
don’t engage with them.
–
Counseling clients fail to change because their counselors
lack empathy or optimism.
–
50% of marriages fail.
–
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for youths
aged 15-24 in the US.
–
Think this is because of industrialized society? Think
again. Samoa has the highest suicide rate in the world.
–
Impulsive boys are three to six times as likely to
be violent adolescents.
–
Low levels of empathy predict poor school performance.
–
Gifted children manifest a near “blindness” to
social cues which leads to isolated and sad childhoods.
–
Doctors with poor EQ skills get sued more.
–
75-90% of visits to primary care physicians in the
US are due to stress-related problems.
–
Pessimists live shorter, unhealthier, unhappier lives,
and are less likely to achieve their potential than
optimists.
–
College students in a study with the same IQ and GPA
who did not write down their career goals with intentionality
were 50% less successful 15 years later.
–
Perfectionism is potent. Perfectionists produce better
work, get better grades and get enormous positive feedback.
Perfectionists also have a markedly higher suicide
rate.
---
New tag line (Weblog description) 11.28.04 (realized
that this is what shows on search engine pages)
Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions!
GET A GRIP ON YOUR LIFE by learning to control your
Feelings & Emotions. Turn your Anger to Love,
Sadness to Joy, and Guilt, Grief & Depression
into Passion and Personal Power! Enjoy Tips, HowTos,
Quotes, Research, Wisdom and Humour. WE CHOOSE TO
FEEL ALIVE -- Come join us...
---
"
I can't change your life, but if I can change the way
you view your life, your whole life is going to change."
"Men are happy when they are productive.
Women are productive when they are happy."
---
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!
Matt here, checkin' in.
complaint first (to get it out of the way)
I STILL don't get emails from this group any more.
much on my plate, hard to remember.
I guess I'll write to tech support (duh.)
(I've asked them about another little issue numerous
times, so I've lost some trust in them. will try again)
GOOD STUFF!
We have found the right man to grow New Directions!
We used to live in Sacramento, CA (my wife was born
and raised there) and we did classes there for many
years (like 12). Then we moved off to the coast of
No. CA (about 4 hours away) and stopped doing classes
there.
We've continued to do classes all along, but we had
to travel to Fresno (about 7 hours away) because we
had the awesome support of Doc and John (when we was
CA-boy) and the therapy center there. There were times
when they carried us, as Doc insisted that we were
NOT going stop having ND -- it does too much good for
people and we HAVE TO teach it.
so over the years, we've had wonderful people (1 at
a time) step up to the plate to become our Enroller.
There was conpensation, but that sure wouldn't justify
the heart and soul you have to be willing to share
with people in order to Enroll them -- we've found
that the biggest obstacle we face is trying get people
to Help Themselves! (astounding, really -- when I was
a young man, totally lost and in pain, I was LOOKING
for help -- when I found the class, I DID IT Immediately,
hoping to never live another day in that much pain).
So we had class last weekend in Fresno (small class,
many Reviewers, but awesome results) and who comes
to Assist -- the best Enroller we've ever had, Dave
McPhail. He and his wife Saundra came back to class
after being away for some years. They both got a Ton
out of the class last weekend, even as assistants,
Dave's open to working with us, so WHAM, here we go!
With Dave's help, we're gonna setup an ND class in
Sacramento in January! (28th) He already has a place
for the class at the Suicide Hotline offices where
he works. He's already got 2 people expressing interest.
The pieces all fit together just as soon as they were
supposed to. Waiting is sometimes the key.
So off we Grow.
Perfect Validation for me that our teachings WORK.
People have been using them for years and they WORK!
ND Grads say they are HAPPIER than non-ND Grads.
Yahoo!
C-ya.
- Matt
---
Don't disguise brutality or revenge with "I'm
just being Honest with you".
---
Please do not confuse expense with value.
We keep the price (expense) of the class low so many
can afford it.
However, being able to take control of your life can
be priceless (value)!
---
what if the person you are upset with had 2 broken
legs… would it help you Understand and Forgive
their behaviours?
Maybe they DO have 2 broken parts: Self-Confidence
and Self-Acceptance.
---
Make a list of different things we can learn from:
Movie quotes
Song words
...
---
Love you forever, and forever.
Love you with all my heart.
Love you when we’re together.
Love you when we're apart.
Make it easy to be near you.
and the things you do endear you to me.
- Alison Krauss
---
Andrea Lambert's 12 Promises (results from taking her
Self-Awareness weekend)
http://www.12promises.com/12_Promises/12_promises.html
---
Control Your Feelings,
Control Your LIFE!!
---
The New Directions weekend really is a life-changer (and a good deal). For
$299, you get the weekend, Doc's book "Taking Control of Your Life",
a long weekend of intensive growth, a celebration graduation and after-class
follow-up -- plus, once a graduate, always a friend so coming back to help
new students is still free of charge, for life!
---
great sales letter home page:
https://www.asseenontvnetwork.com/vcc/esi/jayabraham2/122435/
note what fits on the screen.
---
I collect:
Blank Notepads
Matches
Playing Cards
Business Cards
Baseball Caps
Music
Cash
Coin
Tools?
---
Collecting vs. Accumulating
Dif between Collecting, with heart
quality, meaning, clean, nice, loving, pride, value, passion, slow, careful,
precious
then Accumulating
hoarding, grabbing, bogarting, taking, selfish, me-centered.
---
Self-Centered vs. Me-Centered
I know myself
I know that the best way to take care of myself, emotionally, is to be there
for others
to help people be happy, and learn, and grow.
We, us, together
FREE to be who we are, Safe, Open, loving, content, free, joy, laughter, connection,
healing, growth, heaven
If I'm being Me-Centered
I am thinking of me, separate from you
ME, Me, me
against, competing with, at odds with, in battle with, protecting myself from
you
who's in control of my life? I'm in prison.
I'm alone, and small, and vulnerable
it's hell
yuck.
---
If you have to pay someone to be your best friend, then friggin' Do It!
---
Self-processing.
Oh, yes, I do do that.
I do that a lot.
and I don't want to do that anymore.
so I won't.
---
We listen to our feelings, and they tell us what to do.
---
"
We've got one foot in the past,
and one foot in tomorrow.
and we’re Pissing on Today!
---
online strategies:
look at the links for those who came to your site via Search engines.
Click the link to recreate the Search page.
Find yourself.
What exactly brought them here?
What did the Search engine grab from your site, sentence fragments, Title,
address
Who else is on that page? There should be some orgs that could be pretty similar
to yours.
Are they competition? learn from them
Are they going in a similar direction? Is there a networking opportunity there?
Or it could be Research, that you can learn from and/or use.
I'm encouraged.
I believe now, that if I keep writing, they'll keep coming.
I have 20-50 people a day coming thru my front door.
that's a lot of potential sales!
what if I could turn 1 a day into a sale?
in the internet world, those are incredibly low numbers…
GREAT!
that means there's Plenty of room for improvement!
That's a good thing!
keep pluggin' away, dude. you'll get it.
"
Prepare, and someday your chance will come."
- Abe Lincoln
that's my life right now.
10-10-04
---
WRITE ON!!!
I am a writing advocate.
---
I like that people go to their church on Sunday morning during class.
Hopefully, they can integrate better.
and appreciate that God put them where they need to go.
---
If people don't want to come back to class, or don't come back to class (no
matter what they promise),
I haven't done my job.
It's not about selling them on selling others.
It's about selling them on helping themselves, to an broadened Extreme.
Help, and assist, and coach, and lead the ones we have.
The momentum will grow.
trust me.
---
"
When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed."
- "Moment in the Sun"
The Ghost of Fashion (song)
---
Hey Patti, how'd you like to post the writings on-line?
It's very easy, I'll show you how.
Title
Category
Body
Keywords (optional)
We're getting a fair number of hits these days, growing
daily.
We could organize 'em better later.
I have 114 articles posted. (now, on 3.17.05, there's
231, and over 10K hits!)
Another thing we need to add is ATTITUDE!
Our writing is still too TAME and Proper.
We gotta Say it like it is, or people won't listen.
There's lots of people out there being Nice.
Let's be Real, instead.
Be kind and loving and calm.
Cry when it hurts.
Scream when you need to!
Allow your body to "do what it needs to do".
Experience your Feelings, and then let them go.
and you will have the most amazing Life experience
you can imagine.
and if you can imagine it, you can Make It Happen!
most anything you want, and set your mind to,
and are wise enough to know that you can't do it alone.
and you don't even want to do it alone.
In fact, that the POINT, is to NOT have to do it alone.
so, hey, some of my friends, and the people that help
you a ton,
well, I gotta pay those folks or they won't spend the
time with me.
they can't.
they're pros.
they're busy, powerful, successful people
who are Making their own lives happen.
and that's why I'm willing to pay them to help me.
I guarentee that I will make the money they cost me
back 100x over!
heck, I pay that much for my car payment.
that's a helpful tool
that helps me get thru life smoother, faster, in more
comfort.
I don't NEED the Car, I just want it to help me.
Wise men use a car.
Wise men also use a Coach or a Therapist.
be willing to get some support
be open to what we have learned.
We can make your life experience so dratically better
for you, you will be Amazed.
You can't know it, until you FEEL it.
And you can't FEEL it without some Help.
Why is it that the more successful people are, the
more likely they are to have a professional help?
they learn that getting help is a Good thing. A smart
thing. A wise thing.
you know what, let us just give you a Glimpse of what
it could be like for you.
yes, it's only 1 short weekend.
you've been to weekends before.
you forget 90% of it a week later.
or is it some gimmick, where if you follow these hundreds
of rules, to the letter, for no money down, then you
too can have fame and fortune.
nope.
nope we don't really "teach" all that much
over the weekend.
you get a book (that's awesome), and a binder (with
some more words of wisdom, plus blank pages where people
write their Thoughts, Feelings and AHA's)
but during the class, we don't do much "board-work."
It's not that kinda class.
It's like no other class you've ever been to.
you know what else? it's gonna suck, at times.
you are going to feel some yucky feelings. it's true.
maybe you can't take it.
maybe you're too afraid of your own fear to face it,
head-on.
maybe you're one of those Macho Guys who tells himself
that if their anger ever came out, the whole world
will explode.
(seriously, some people hold in their anger so they will NOT hurt or kill someone… that's
a very good thing… thank you for that)
maybe you're one of those "Nice Guys", who would "never be angry" at
our poor old mother who worked day and night to raise us.
(again, thanks for respecting her enough to be kind, and loving toward her.
But now it's time to get Real, too. You did NOT have an easy childhood, and
there were some people along the way, maybe my dad, or some other man in my
life, who Really PISSED ME OFF!
that anger has got to come Out of you.
it poisons you
and colors your thoughts
and forces you to Stop feeling, in order to bottle-up the Rage you've felt
all these years.
you haven't hurt anybody. yet. but it's still in
there.
it will come out.
like shaking a can of carbonated soda… the pressue builds and Builds
and BUILDS Over time
and it Will start coming out.
maybe you let it off in little spurts.
like at your wife
or kids
or other drivers
or your co-workers, or boss (whoops!)
it Will come out, trust me.
you won't be able to contain it forever.
And here's the good news - - - YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY
TO CONTAIN IT!
There's a better way.
It's Safe.
It's Clean.
It's Simple.
It's Effective.
It Works.
and it's friggin' FREE!!!
It's called Dealing with your Feelings!
It's called Living your Life Honestly, Openly and Bravely!
It's called Knowing Yourself, Who you Are, What you
Feel and Where you Stand!
It's called Personal Growth.
It's called Coaching, and Therapy, and Workshops.
any idea why they're so popular?
What if you could only deal with 1 "issue" in
a weekend. Just 1.
What if there were just 1 big thing in your life, that's
been bothering you on and off since childhood…
that feels so much better?
What if you got some Relief, and Peace, and Joy to
add to the pain, misery and disappointment you've experienced
so far.
and What if you got to see, and feel, and create,
without Drugs, or Alcohol, or an Eating frenzy.
that was completely Free of charge, as much as you
want, whenever you want.
Wow.
Wouldn't that be something?
wouldn't that be worth 1 weekend of your life and
a few hundred bucks?
I think it has been. It works for me.
I'm one of the happiest people I've ever met.
and so are our graduates.
(Here's a bunch of incredible, life-changed Testimonials,
mostly unsolicited emails… I'm even amazed at
what people have said about ND… damn!)
and yes, it's a bit expensive.
you wouldn't want to hire some bozo off the street
who has advice and an opinion.
you want a pro.
so try it for an hour.
it will cost you a long-distance call.
Find out for yourself.
Pick up the phone, NOW!
Dial 1-866-__
"
Bang your head! Mental health will drive you mad!"
- "Bang Your Head", Quiet Riot
- Matt
2 things about lack of articles here.
1. coaches don't feel very Safe on this list.
I personally have been Blasted a number of times, some little jabs disguised
as being helpful, but some all-out Slaps, as well.
This was some time ago and things change
but did you ever notice that NOBODY talks about how well they are doing, or
not doing, how much they charge, how much they make with clients.
big off-limits, no-no subject.
2. imho, one of the reasons this subject of what we
Don't like was so popular is because it's griping.
People love to her heard.
Maybe that's not for this list.
---
How about we make the NDW weekend workshop into a show on TV. A show where
people watch us processing people!
Taking them thru the Statement.
Helping them Break-thru their Feelings!
We'll film a regular class, but we'll focus on a couple
of people each episode.
Apply
some get 15-minute phone interview with Matt
if good, Assessment with Doc
He approves them for stability and inclusion.
Do the Tunnel of Love, too.
be able to focus on what 1 person is saying, and block
out everyone else.
many cameras on many faces at once. pick the best ones.
Feel Better - NOW!
Feel Better - FOREVER!
Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions!
Be a Happier, Healthier YOU!
New Directions is a life-changing, emotional training
bookcamp that helps people FEEL better about themselves,
their lives and their families and friends.
They learn practical tools like Boundaries and Personal
Power and Commitment.
In a Fun, Uplifting, Fast-Paced workshop, Matt Perelstein
has people COME ALIVE again.
Feeling their Personal Power
Facing their darkest Fears
Dealing with their Anger and Rage
Feeling their feelings as FULLY as they can.
You'll cry with them, you'll laugh with them, you'll
get Angry at their abusers right along WITH THEM. You'll
be rooting for them, hollaring in your living room.
Moved to tears. And happy with Joy.
You'll want to hold them, you'll fall in love with
them.
People who take this Intensive workshop are ready
to get Down and Dirty with their feelings.
Getting Real
very Real
painfully Real
angrily Real
but healing
and growing
and life-changing Real
The workshop teaches people to Take Control of their
feelings and emotions by facing them head-on.
Participants (previously screened by a therapist and
waivers in place) will look at their past and their
current "Issues" for all to see.
The facilitators will have them FACE their fears and
angers by ACTING OUT what they want to say to their
abuser/perpetrator/abandoner and SAY IT and they hit
(pillows, held by Matt or other participants), and
they scratch, and they kick, and they scream some more
-- and then, when all the hatred is gone -- they weap.
Folks often fall to the ground with relief, and satisfaction,
and renewal.
It's the most healing experience you'll ever witness.
Releasing the pain, the anger, the hatred, and then
WHAM, th energy is spent, the lid is blown off and
the pain is released, sometimes never to return.
It’s a dramatic, enthralling process that you
gotta see to believe. What a show it would make. Viewers
will get to know some of these folks better then they
know their own family.
Like Dr. Phil's Get Real Challenge, the New Directions
Workshop gets to the CORE of the issues, faces feelings
HEAD-ON, and allows people to Connect and Grow ina
safe, loving, heart-warming environment.
There will be some cussing. There will be some screaming.
There will be some Attitude. There will be Hatred expressed.
There may even be a bit of Violence, involved.
but it all will be in the spirit of Healing, Releasing and Growing.
Call or write for a free video or audio taped example
of the class.
under-priced and under-appreciated, the New Directions
weekend workshop has been helping people heal for
over 17 years, since 1986. Over 2,000 graduates have
experienced the weekend, and we have loads of complements
like the ones below.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
---
Get Our E-Zine in Your Inbox
---
If you're feeling something… something kinda
large, or that you notice is weighing on your heart
and mind, dimming your daily experience and hardening
your thoughts,
It's time to let it out.
easier to do, if you can at least identify what the
subject is, what's pushing to it, what’s beneath
it.
But let's say you can't quite figure out What the
heck you're feeling. something, but damn. It's all
jumbled up.
Maybe there's a bunch of things, maybe even little
things. but if left unexpressed, they build on each
other, and eventually
actually, I think we can handle Some of them in our
daily lives, without having to Stop and Feel each one.
some just pass on thru, with maybe an irritation or little stab, or slight
disappointment.
heck, we’re adults, right? We are not THAT sensitive that every little
things needs to get us down, creates drama, and must be "addressed".
some things don't even warrant a second of our energy, or thought, or hurt.
I have had the experience where I felt hurt about something, realized what
it was, decided I DON'T CARE enough about that to let it get to me, and LET
GO of it. some times, Completely.
The ability to adjust and manage What we care about, and How Much we care about
it, is a POWERFUL TOOL.
damn. that is so cool. it makes my heart SWELL to know that I have THAT MUCH
CONTROL OVER MY LIFE!
Damn.
---
Cool Attitudes
The Lion, when first introducted" in the Wizard of Oz
"Lions and Tigers and Bears -- Oh My!!"
"rrrrggghhh.
"Put em up, put em uuup. Which one a you first? I'll fight you with one
armed tied behind my back. I'll fight you with my eyes closed."
"Get up and fight, you shivering junkyard. you lop-sided hunk of hay."
Crabsta Gangsta in Little Mermaid
"I'm a gansta, see…
"We don't like your type around here, see…
---
favorite words
My or Mine or Me
- Let's talk about Me.
- That's Mine.
- My feelings matter most.
---
Dating
(Michele)
Talkin' ABOUT sex is cool.
just don't talk about/imply having sex with ME!
---
wording for the Sedona Method
Say goodbye to fear, stress and anxiety—even panic attacks…
Control anger problems...
Create lasting wealth and abundance…
Lift even long-standing depression...
Get rid of chronic physical pain...
Kick addictions…lose weight…stop smoking…
Remove subconscious blocks to having the life you desire…
Liberate your mind & body
Realize your dreams and objectives
Create effortless prosperity
Ease your worries naturally
Be free from stress, anxiety, anger and depression
Experience personal transformation
Make much more money while having more fun
Create more radiant health and well-being
Enjoy more loving relationships
Lose weight, stop smoking and much more...
Here's just a "taste" of what the Sedona
Method can do for you:
It can allow you to effortlessly release limiting thoughts
and feelings that have plagued you for years even the
very first time you use the program...
It can dramatically reduce stress and cause stress-induced
dysfunctional feelings and behaviors (including anger,
depression, fear, anxiety, substance abuse, and many
others) to fall away...
It creates healing of emotional trauma and self-imposed
limitations forever , even for people who have been
unsuccessful with other methods...
It actually slows the aging process by eliminating
the harmful effects of stress, increasing your vitality,
well-being, and improving overall health and happiness...
It can dramatically accelerate your mental, emotional,
and spiritual growth, giving you the results you always
THOUGHT you were supposed to get from the other programs
and books you've tried (but, if you're like most people,
never really got)...
It improves career and financial results by removing
the blocks to maximizing your personal potential, improving
relationships, creativity, the ability to take key,
decisive actions and more...
It can increase your self-awareness, inner peace, and
happiness, as well as your ability to connect with
other people and create successful relationships.
---
If you think you have your Feelings handled -- in order
-- under control -- then let's see it.
Show me.
If you totally "have a grip" on your feelings… Great.
I want to believe you and I'm glad to hear it. So,
let’s see them.
I contend that me "having a grip on my feelings",
means that I can - call them up at any time, experience
them fully and completely, and then release them -
the whole time remaining totally within my control
and
at my
pleasure.
I learn
from them, respect them, try to understand them and
have compassion for them -- and then lovingly Release
them, letting them just fall away, to allow the sun
to once again shine within me.
- Can you do that? (I can)
--- Can you Allow your Sadness to envelope you, move
you, cleanse you?
----- How about Depression? Do you find yourself trying
to fight off your depression -- as it drags you down
and down and down?
------- Can you Pull-up your ANGER, letting it build
and build until your Entire Body is so TENSE and Tight
and Ready to FIGHT!!?!
------- (while being totally in control of yourself
the entire time)
Can you really let yourself experience the FULL INTENSITY
of your emotions?
----- somewhere, sometime, with some body, YA GOTTA
LET 'EM GO!!
Guess what?
- - - - Avoiding your Feelings, doesn't work!
- - - - - Denying your Feelings, doesn't work!
- - - - - - Drinking away your Feelings, doesn't work!
The only thing that REALLY WORKS, is FEELING YOUR
FEELINGS!
Let's say, just for a minute, that your Feelings were
completely Natural, and correct, and a God-given Gift
for you to use.
Wouldn't you Honor them enough to even LISTEN to them
for a minute?
What if you body is trying to tell you something?
What if your clever Mind, and self-protecting Heart,
conspire to KEEP YOU FROM FEELING?
What if your body tries to Protect itself by Avoiding
the Feelings?
Here's how I see it…
We come out feeling good… except for the initial
spanking, and an occasional inconvenience like being
hungry or uncomfortable… babies come out feeling
pretty Ok. And most importantly, they come out being
TOTALLY in Touch with their Feelings… if fact,
they have nothing else BUT their Feelings.
Babies feel what they feel, express it, and (if their
needs get met), they can Release their negative feelings,
completely with NO residual effects of hanging on,
remembering, keeping score… none of that. They
feel 'em, they release 'em, they let 'em go. that's
it.
Then we grow.
And as we grow, SHIT HAPPENS. Life Happens. The World
Happens. Events Happen.
We get slammed. We get abandoned. We get hit. We get
abused.
We get angry, and hurt, and depressed, and afraid.
…
as we grew, especially as little kids, do you think
we were able to continue to Feel 'em, Release 'em and
Let 'em Go like we did as a baby?? No way.
well, some were. the very lucky ones. (actually, I
have yet to see a child who came from parents who could
honestly and openly express their anger, disappointment
or disapproval directly and straight-forwardly to their
parents.) (no, I take that back, I have seen some kids
that had total freedom to be and feel who and what
they truly are, with respect and proper boundaries
-- my daughter, and children of other ND graduates!)
more often we were told, "Big Boys Don't Cry"
and "Don't you get that Tone with me, young man!"
"
Go to your room and don't come out until you have a
smile on your face."
and "Suck it up", "Run it off", "Go
out and play, everything will be Ok."
What happened to our ability to Express our Feelings,
the way our body was meant to feel them?
We are told, over and over, in many, many ways (sometimes
with Severe Consequences) that "YOU HAD BETTER
STUFF THOSE FEELINGS AWAY, young lady, and STRAIGHTEN
UP! and I mean NOW!"
our feelings are denied. our expression is squelched.
we, as a person, go away feeling misunderstood, mis-treated
and unloved (and worse, unlovable).
so then what happens?
We have a few choices with what to do with our Feelings:
a. We can cut off and stuff our feelings down, down
deep inside ourselves.
b. We can "trade them in" for other, more
acceptable feelings, like Anger and Bitterness.
like feeling Anger, rather than Hurt, as Anger is safer, more powerful, less
vulnerable
c. We can protect ourselves and our feelings.
d. We can tell ourselves "I don't care." and try to deny our feelings,
even to ourselves.
We stuff 'em. We put 'em away. We deny they exist.
We pull away. We hide. We run. We medicate.
We go into (or never come out of) a "Survival Mode" where our bodies
will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to survive.
We will Shut Down our hearts and our Feelings so that we CAN SURVIVE.
but still, sometimes, late late at night, when
no-one's around and no-one will hear… we cry.
our lives are sad. our loves are sad. our work is sad.
we are hurt. and alone. and afraid. and we feel so little, and vulnerable,
and small.
"
So, what do we do, oh Feelings Master?
"
Just Feel them," I say.
"
That's it?", you ask.
"
That's it." I reply. "Feel them and Let them
go."
"
Are you serious," you ask. "That, and only
that, will change my Life for the better?!?"
"
That's right, grasshopper. If you will Allow your Feelings
to exist, Acknowledge them, Listen to them, Respect
them, Appreciate them, your entire Life Experience
will RADICALLY IMPROVE, for Free, Any time, 24/7. I
GUARANTEE IT!"
However, there may be a down side.
I can tell you that if you've Stuffed for your Feelings
for a long while, and you really have No Clue what
you feel, what it's based on, or what to do with it,
then you are in for the Wild Ride of your LIFE! ----
HANG ON --- YEEEE HAAA!
You will be ROCKED, like you've never imagined!
You will Feel, and Experience, and Be Consumed By some
incredibly negative Feelings.
You will feel Sadness like never before.
You will feel so Pissed Off, your body will feel like BLOWING APART.
You will feel your Depression and your Fear to the point that you will feel
like dying.
but frankly (and I don't want to minimize the impact here), but So What?
They are JUST FEELINGS.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE from expressing your Feelings!
You are not going to Explode and you are not going to Burst.
You are gonna be one hurtin' cowboy or cowgirl, but that's ok.
You'll get through it. You'll Feel it and let it go. You'll have delved into
the depths of your soul, returning Renewed, Refreshed, and ready to face the
world with a new vigor and enthusiasm that you hadn't felt in Years!
You will be Enlightened, and Enlivened, and Pumped-up, and Renewed!
You will FEEL things that you've only seen in movies.
You will be AMAZED at all the Power, and Compassion, and Feeling inside you!
You will come away going, "WOW -- I had No Idea that all that was inside
me!"
or,
You knew it was all in there, stewing around and clouding my thinking,
AND it feels GREAT to have finally Let It Go!
By the way, and I have some even Better news for some
of you…
- your Anger is NOT as big as the WORLD!
- you are NOT going to "kill somebody" if you ever let your Anger
out!
- it is NOT Bigger than you, nor out of control, nor Unbelievably Large!
- your unexpressed Anger (which I'm sure by now is good solid RAGE) is NOT
going to make you Implode, or Explode.
It may FEEL LIKE IT's HUGE. And you may WANT TO KILL
SOMEBODY. And you may FEEL like you are EXPLODING.
but you're not. and you won't. and it doesn't.
it's managable… and releasable.
You see, we can help you Experience your RAGE and your
Anger and your HATE, in a safe, controlled environment.
We can help you EXPLODE through all that pent-up (and
probably very Valid and Justifiable) anger and rage
in a way that:
a. Won't hurt you.
b. Won't let you hurt anyone else
c. Feels AMAZINGLY GREAT afterwards, to finally Feel
and Release all the crap that's been inside you forever
and ever!
---
Self-Processing Steps
1. Allow the Crying.
2. FEEL what it's based on.
3. Find the Belief that is Behind the feeling.
4. See if you Agree with it.
5. If so, keep it and just continue crying until done.
6. If it's not a solid Belief yet, try to Let it go,
give it no energy, no glue, nothing to stand on.
7. If it IS a solid Belief, hear it. Heade it. Listen
to it… it's probably from experience and trying
to tell you something.
Apparently, something similar to this has happened before.
Apparently, this Belief does have some "basis".
Apparently, there's a Lesson to be Learned… not by your Head, but by
your Heart.
It's time to Shut-up and Listen.
---
I am hurting now because I need to learn about my Feelings.
If I had had it easy, what have I to Learn from that??
No, I hurt, to learn. and then to teach.
I've always wanted to "understand myself" so now that I do, it's
time to show others.
---
A big lesson with Rachel, is not to Demand, and Control, and bully.
It's to "Manage" her, sorta like other employees, but with more Heart.
(adjust heart openness.)
I listen, I watch, I direct. Plan, Organize, Direct, Control. (all needed,
at the right times, with the right attitude, and with the right Feeling)
I make some rules. I shore up my Boundaries.
I take care of my business.
while staying connected.
---
It's cunning, baffling and powerful.
- Michele Splat re: AA and evil
---
The 4 D's of spiritual growth
DISCIPLINE - To create change in our lives, we need to consistently focus on
what we want.
DETACHMENT - Practice the art of detached observation. Let go of automatic
defenses and patterns.
DISCERNMENT - Seek to discern the lower from the higher. What is self-serving
and what is soul-inspired? Discernment carries no judgment. There are no goods
and bads. Remain as a detached witness.
DHARMA - This is an East Indian word meaning "living your unique purpose." How
do you find meaning and fulfillment in ways that are natural to you? How do
you best serve and contribute to the world?
---
Ok, the way that T. Harv does it is as follows:
You have to listen to some of his stuff before signing
up.
Audio download, 90-minutes
Live TeleClass, by phone, 90-minutes, some Tuesday evenings
Live Evening Event, 3 hours, in Hotels, Free
Then, and only then, can you actually register for
the class.
Half of the events are Teaching, the other Half is
Selling the Intensive.
Half of the Intensive is Teaching, the other half
is Selling their big programs ($1995 and up).
It's working, but it seems to require a fairly large
organization. (maybe not.)
…and, if I didn't HAVE To make money on every
class, we COULD do it this way.
rather than making money at the beginning of class, we'd have to make it at
the End of class (selling other classes).
… would take lots of pressure off of getting
the students 'through' each class, too. some would
leave… and that's ok.
ASSUMES that we are going to do a variety of add-on
classes
ART $150/class or buy 5 get 1 free, $750 / $900
Monthly Coaching Program $199 mo. or buy 5 get 1 free, $995 / $1194
US Attitudes $199/student
Give write-up at beginning of ND, give discounts as we go.
introduce US Attitudes Saturday at lunch, just after choosing teams
introduce ART Sunday lunch
Coaching Sunday night, last thing before closing circle and Graduation
Regularly, $199
---
we offer:
Hope
Solutions to unhappiness
Tools for living
Reduce your pain
increase your happiness
enjoy your life
people who know they have a higher purpose in their
life
but don’t know what it is, or how to get there.
---
Tax deductible? We have designed our professional business
coaching services to be tax-deductible for most clients.
In the U.S., all continuing education expenses undertaken
to maintain and improve business and professional skills
are tax-deductible. Always double-check this with your
CPA or tax advisor. Ask them about Treasury Regulation
1-162-5, Coughlin vs. Commissioner, 203F 2d 307
---
Berkely Psychic Institute
January 11 Your Mother - genetic and matching pictures.
February 8 Owning Your Power: good girl - bad girl
syndrome.
March 14 Emotions. Who controls you with guilt? Who
controls you with responsibility?
April 11 Beyond the Whore vs. the Virgin Syndrome --
Sexy Mary
May 9 Mother's Day: A celebration of "Her - Story."
June 13 Your Astral. How do you heal yourself in your
dreams?
July 11 Your Father. Where do you run his energy in
your body?
August 8 Your Body. Whose energy creates limits in
your body?
September 12 The Arts. What is your creative expression?
October 10 Abuse. How does it manifest in your life?
November 21 Miracles. Validating the miracle of your
creations.
December 13 (Monday evening) Women's Holiday Festivals
SUSAN HULL BOSTWICK
Susan Hull Bostwick, Deja Vu Publishing Company's chief
executive officer and an intuitive teacher of more
than 100,000 women. A former teacher in San Francisco's
public and private school system, Bostwick began
to hear a call for more of a spiritual challenge.
She answered that call in 1973 when she went to the
Berkeley Psychic Institute.
Bostwick trained at the Berkeley Psychic Institute
in 1973 as an intuitive reader and healer. In 1977,
she founded the Women's Healing Program. The Women's
Healing Program is designed to teach women how to use
and take charge of their intuitive abilities.
Among her other accomplishments, she is the founder
of the Marin Birth Center, Deja Vu Tours, a custom
tour agency visiting spiritual power points around
the world and the publisher of the Psychic Reader Newspaper
with a readership of over 210,000.
Bostwick sees herself as an Everywoman. ''We have
our spiritual essence, or self, in many things at the
same time; our real task is to learn to handle what
we are creating and enjoy it. I have always been a
dreamer who gets her dreams and I enjoy teaching other
women how to manifest their own dreams.''
---
AJ, I noticed that you liked that Personal Power Institute's "program
of learning" that was offered over 3 weekends…
People like "Programs".
The weekend is only part of the Program.
3-month Program -
"Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions"
intro session - prep for weekend
ND weekend (New Student)
check-in session - what did you learn?
weekly support groups in between
membership to community of grads
learning session - notice where you're at, expression of feelings, prep for
next weekend
Assistant training class, 2 hours, a few days before class (at a restaurant?)
ND weekend (as Assistant)
check-in session - what are you feeling? what did you learn?, what's still
to learn?
weekly support groups
exit session - Now What?!
Get Help - weekend 1
Give Help - weekend 2
$499 for 2 weekends
$750 for 2 people (save $249!)
1-year Program: Taking Control of Your Life!
coaching calls 2x per month
belong to gym: chat, call or email during certain hours.
OnLine and InPerson and ByPhone
thoughts? how to make it supportive, interesting,
and financially beneficial
What would you like your part to be, if any?
How about a class at the Learning Exchange?
We need to do Guest Events.
I'm thinking about an Emotional Gym (onland)
where they Belong, pay a fee every month
open certain hours, come as often as you wish, stay as long as you'd like
drop-in classes, coffee chat room, scheduled support group meetings
rent rooms to other healing pros
or
Emotional Gym (online and onphone)
open certain hours
call-in services
what did I learn from slow Community launch?
I must seed the flames next time.
I must share first
I must set the example.
I must lead.
I must model.
without money, I can't ask anyone to do what I'm not
willing to do.
---
TCOYE
some day
I'd like a biz card reader for my pc --> Outlook
being a good programmer, means you learn to think
Clearly, and methodically, and have incredible Attention
to Detail. Nothing can slip thru the cracks, and there
can be No Typos anywhere, ever -- the syntax must be
Perfect. The forms must work Perfectly, and the reports
damned well better be Perfect, every time.
you gotta think of Everything, or Wham!
just like Life, I guess.
Awareness is the 1st Key to Change
sell Awareness
We are speaking to Professionals.
Our equals, or slightly below.
equal, or slightly above. Progress
Personal Equality with Others
As children, we are less than, smaller, controlled
__ Parents, dominated us, made the rules, did what they pleased
__ Child, small, fragile, sometimes a victim, did
what they were told
Old goal - equal, responsible, adequate, 'normal',
fit-in, socialize
__ __ As we "grow up", we elevate our standing,
striving for equality, for wholeness, for power,
New goal - Equal, or slightly Above!
___ The goal: Us. Solid, secure, powerful, loving, clear, mature, wise, fun,
in control
___ Them. We are not "better than", but
interesting way of thinking. try it sometime for about
30000 hours or so. (220 workdays/year x 8 hrs/day
x 17 years is 29,920 hours)
I am researching ME.
I want to see what I want to be like.
Now that I have so many Choices, and I have some experience in different Careers
I feel it's time to come report my findings to you.
I will be out in the world, doing some amazing experiences,
and I'll come back here and report them to you… Ok?
write my journal, in blog form, to show my progress
takes time, can't do it right now
but GREAT IDEA!
- Get a Clue!
- - - Get a Grip!
- - - - - Get a Life!
New Directions will show you how.
STOP being Clueless!
If you're walking around WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR
FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, you are NOT in Control of your
life… period. If you don't understand your Fears
and your Issues, and your emotional shortcomings, you
are gonna get CREAMED out there in the real world.
People will Take Advantage of you. Ex-Lovers know your
weak spots and will Exploit them to the best of their
abilities. The dude at work that's competing for the
promotion -- who's gonna win?
UNDERSTAND Yourself and Others
People will all of a sudden "Make Sense"
As we understand and appreciate what we FEEL, then our Behaviours make more
sense.
So many of our Behaviours are for out of Survival.
But we need to understand that many of those Survival-based behaviours are
NOT so much
to protect you, as an Adult… they were created by you as a Young Child.
They made PERFECT Sense to the child
at the time. The child had to learn, and fast. The child had FEW CHOICES. The
child was a VICTIM.
Yet,
when it all seems so insurmountable.
when the Pain just seems too much to bear.
The child Adapts. sometimes immediately.
The child Changes to suit his/her environment.
The child had to make some big decisions on how Safe this world is. As a kid,
you get Slammed hard enough and/or often enough, you will ADAPT. It's called
the School of Hard Knocks -- very effective to teaching kids BIG life lessons.
but here's the problem…
Some of those lessons, that made such good sense to the Child….
CHILD-based BELIEFS DON'T WORK TOO WELL AS AN ADULT!
The child Survives! Yes, but the Adult Suffers.
We try to do intimate Adult Relationships, and act all grown up and mature,
but that's when our subconsious childhood beliefs come out -- unbeknownst to
us.
Who is in Control of Your Life? A little kid!
Until you are AWARE.
but some get "stuck" in there, and
Survival = Panic
Feel MORE POWERFUL inside
---
Coach + Passion + Niche Market +
Problem + Solution + Format =
New Coaching Income Stream
- Andrea Lee
---
Do NOT miss your chance to Blow.
cause Opportunity comes once in a Lifetime.
- Eminem "Lose Yourself"
damn right. and THIS is my opportunity. here and now.
---
Feelings are God's built-in alarm system for our thoughts. If you are feeling
an emotion other than joy, our natural inheritance, check the thoughts you
are having at that moment. Every thought, and I mean every one, that does not
put you in a joyful state has as its underlying premise the belief that you
are separate from God (this belief being the only mistake or "sin" we
have ever made). We are just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, dreaming that
our life is real, but truly still wrapped in the loving arms of God. Every
feeling has a lesson built into it to remind us this truth if we take a moment
to look for it. Feelings are God's gift to us, and will guide us back to Him,
back to our inheritance, back to joy.
- Sandra Adair
---
How do you connect with people, on the phone, in a way that you can Talk to
them.
Create Report, then Re-Direct, right?
people seem to spend the entire phone conversation trying to End the conversation
-- get Off the phone.
How do I relax them, just enough that:
a. they don't rush to get off, they stay, and linger and want more
(sexier, more swooning in voice, slower, lower energy, safer, if women, use
semi-mushy words that break the ice and show some information)
b. or at least they are receptive to what you are saying. Build trust and report
Quickly and easily (and honestly).
Find a good way to Ask to be let in.
Hey, I teach Feelings & Emotions, so yes, I'm usually right Out There with
mine. I like 'em.
anyway, I'd like your permission to be Straight-forward and Honest with you
as we talk, Ok?
find out more about this!
Jan and Michael represent our "ideal clients"...
professional, intelligent, successful (at least career-wise),
yet UNSUCCESSFUL in Intimate Relationships and not
really Feeling that great about Life. Motivated to
change thru pain, sadness, depression, divorce.
Get Close
get REALLY Close.
Learn the tools.
See how it's done.
Feel it.
Live it.
Replicate it.
We teach Intimacy
We teach Love
We teach Trust
We teach you to Feel.
You take it home with you.
Get your old baggage out of the way so you can be
Really close.
do the site kinda like www.GMRLive.com
2 paragraphs max
then links below
a cool picture
with Next (LARGE) and Previous (small) buttons
take 'em thru an Experience of the class.
8 Simple Steps to Taking Control of your Life
1. Establish Trust
2. Know you have CHOICES!
3. Accept the Choices you've made.
4. Identify the Roots
5. Let it Out!
6. Fill-up with Love
7. Find your Personal Power
8. Take Control of Your Life!
---
This is a file of clever wording that I want to keep.
It's only in order by when the thought occurred to
me.
Perhaps it could help you get a better feel for what
I'm trying to get across to people.
Thanks for caring.
- Matt
sent out 6.16.4 to Lonn, Lyle, MariJo and Karen
---
I'm so glad to hear that your depression and anxiety
has subsided, for the most part!! That's fantastic
that you could rid yourself of these horrible feelings
so quickly.
Know, too that you have JUST broken thru the feeling
and now it's time to see what's underneath that and
get the Source taken care of. There's more work to
be done. The good news is that you are Definitely on
the right road and it will be WORTH IT, to Improve
the rest of your Life!
---
WE GIVE FIRST!
---
We'll help you move from:
Unconscious
to
Conscious
to
Super-Conscious
---
The New Directions Dance of Healing
You are in pain.
Your life isn't looking, or feeling, the way you want it to.
You're down. Life has got you down.
Relationships aren't working.
Love is scarce.
Friends are only so helpful.
You tried therapy, helpful but can be expensive and slow.
Church can help in some ways.
but Dammit, you are Sick and Tired of being Down!!
you've been down long enough
you know there must be Help out there, but where and
we're in the new millenium,
We understand emotional pain better.
We understand how feelings were formed, and how they
persist.
We have experienced all levels of feelings and emotions...
we know how to encourage them to come out
to feel them to the depth that they are stored
and to Release them, often never to return!
So you reach out to us for help.
You come to class.
First, we get blessing from the Man upstairs.
If we "know" we are doing the right things, we can get tons of help
and assistance from Him... just by asking!
the price is right and feeling is AWESOME to know you WILL ALWAYS have support,
guidance and love of your Higher Power!
Then we start class.
And do what we know how to do...
We show you the way to healing...
We guide you by teaching, showing, explaining, enacting.
We show you how it all started.
We explain how Feelings are formed -- how we Became who we are -- so it all
makes sense.
We support, love and encourage you.
We set the stage for dumping lots of past garbage.
You do the emotional work
We help you dump your refuse tanks, and fill-up your storage tanks.
We teach you a new way to live, a new attitude, a new direction.
You go out feeling Considerably better about yourself, your relationships,
and your life!
You feel clean, and refreshed, and rejuvinated.
You feel Hopeful, and Happy and Encouraged.
You feel Loved, and Cared for, and Connected.
It's Amazing, really, how such simple concepts yield such Awesome results!
(I love it :- )
---
<
Self-Actualized Grads - we've had people working with us for so long, and cleared
out SO many issues and past garbage, that they are damned close to being downright
HAPPY!
1. Almost Nothing from past is still causing pain
and anger (unless we choose to go there)
2. We live with Very few "shoulds"
3 We're crystal-clearly aware of our Feelings, emotions,
intentions, etc.
4. We know, and practice, highly Advanced communication
skills
5. We LOVE our life!
6. We feel Loved, like we belong, like we "fit
in" with people and we Matter.
7. We are completely personally responsible for our
feelings, behaviours and actions.
8. We are a "victim" in very few areas of
our Lives.
9. We feel we Power and Choice in everything we do.
10. We feel Encouraged, Positive, Helpful and Free.
11. We like people. We understand people. We can connect
with people.
12. We are accepting, and non-judgemental.
13. We believe the future brings hope, joy and adventure.
14. We continue to nurture, champion and heal the life
on our inner-child.
15. We pretty well understand where we came from, how
we got here, and where we are going next.
---
Timothy 1:7
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but
of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
http://www.carm.org/kjv/2Tim/2Tim_1.htm
---
New Directions Break-Through Wellness Workshop
Feel Better -- FAST ! !
Learn powerful new communication tools.
Dump old emotional baggage.
Understand and connect with others like never before!
Feel Alive, Refreshed and Rejuvenated
in the
New Directions Weekend
Break-through Wellness Workshop
Healing, Growth, Recovery, Safety
"
I did over 5 years of growth in 1 short weekend!" -
Linda V.
June 4 July 16
(559) 237-8304, $199, FCC Fresno
"
You WILL feel better about your life -- Guaranteed!"
Since 1986, Matt & Paula Perelstein have helped
over 2,000 people take control
of their lives via powerful life coaching & life-changing
personal growth workshops.
"
You've changed my life in many ways, large and small." -
Helen T.
---
Newsletter - Roger Parker http://www.cvcommunity.com/utility/showArticle/index.cfm?objectID=1183
1 page, front and back, 600 words max
title (strong, short title with long subtitle):
Feel Better, FAST!
"Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions"
send as .PDF, nicely formatted in MS Publisher
monthly, same day every month
Plan topics for entire year, before starting any
use numbered lists
be consistently present
don't promote your product, promote your newsletter!
find your niche!
Target marketing - invest your resources on a target that is reachable - don't
be seduced by broadband media. Use a rifle instead of a shotgun.
Constant visibility - you have to always be there. A small ad every week is
better than a big ad once a month, and a small newsletter every month is better
than a bigger newsletter every quarter.
Market education - especially in a field like coaching. You have to let them
know specifically how you can help them, how you do help them, and what makes
you different. An educated client is your best tool
---
If shame-based, probably:
had many jobs
do sneaky things - alcohol, drugs, porn
fight more
angry more
protect more
don't keep relationships well
mysterious maladies
low self-esteem
control and fear-based decisions, behaviours
yuck.
---
Winning the Happiness Game
"He who dies with the most Joys, wins!"
---
Coaching Course http://www.developyourchild.co.uk/foster-care-workshops.htm
1. Work with the Coach, personally
2. How to connect with others - communication skills and attitudes
3. Building Self-Esteem and confidence in others
---
Feel Better - FAST!
Improve Self-Esteem
Create closer, healthier Relationships
New Directions Wellness Weekend
"A rare jewel of self-discovery." - Gretchen M.
Ft. Bragg, May 14-16, Friday evening, Sat. & Sun.
(707) 962-9006, email: info@2GetHelp.com
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
"You WILL feel better about your Life
-- Guarenteed!"
$299 primary registrant, $199 each add'l
Since 1986, Matt and Paula Perelstein have helped over 2,000 people take control
of their lives through their powerful life coaching and personal growth workshops.
"You have changed my life in many ways large and small." - Helen T.
Tremendous growth in 1 weekend
"
4 years of personal inventory in 1 weekend" -
12-steppers
New Directions Wellness Workshop
Healing, Growth, Recovery Weekend
"You will feel Better about your Life -- Guarenteed!"
June 4-6, Fri. evening, Sat. & Sun.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
(559) 237-8304, $199, FCC Fresno
Since 1986, Matt & Paula Perelstein have helped over 2,000 people take
control
of their lives via powerful life coaching & life-changing personal growth
workshops.
"You've changed my life in many ways, large and small." - Helen T.
---
New Directions Wellness Weekend
Healing, Growth & Recovery
May 14-16, 1st Time in Ft. Bragg
962-9006
---
Improve Self-Esteem
Create Closer, Healthier Relationships
Enjoy Life More!
no more "Shoulds"
thou shall not "should" on thyself
4 steps to learning
Emotional control
Learn to use Emotional Tools
Peace
positive
healthy
relax
fill-up
inspired
lighten-up
rejuvinate
ABUNDANCE
prosperity
Family
intimacy
Joy!
Love
togetherness
closeness
commitment
Fun!
partners
anger mgt.
no fears
Personal Power
Recovery
New Directions Wellness Weekend
May 14-16, 1st time in Fort Bragg
"
The workshop cleared out the clogs in my emotions!"
"
A rare jewel of self discovery."
$299 primary registrant
$199 each additional registrant
Matt & Paula Perelstein have helped over 2,000
take control of their lives
since 1986 via life coaching & personal growth
workshops.
(707) 962-9006
matt@2GetHelp.com
NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
Feel better - FAST!
Benefits, then features
Stress-free, Peace, Ambition, Motivation, Ideas, Self-esteem
Beautiful redwood setting
What can it do for me, then how (if at all)
happier
more contentment
more love
more joy
more laughing
Learn powerful, life-changing tools
Increase your emotional quotient (EQ)
Heal your past.
Experience Trust & Safety
Open your heart - Enjoy Life!
Get Happy!
Feel good!
Feel better - FAST!
Open your hear!
Take control of your emotional Life!
Life Instructions
TCOYF & E
---
"
Don't blame, explain. Explain how others affect your
success, your dreams."
- Catherine Franz
---
"
One of the great dangers of transformational work is that the ego attempts
to sidestep deep psychological work by leaping into the transcendent too soon.
This is because the ego always fancies itself much more ‘advanced’ than
it actually is."
-- Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
---
Need a picture of a toolbox, with each tool having a feeling identifier.
Hammer = Anger
Pliers = Fear
got to www.inmagine.com and search for "toolbox"… lots of good
fix-it guys
---
and a PHONE!
---
The TCOYL Emotional Toolbox
You want to build a life of Happiness, Love, and Freedom?
You'd better have the right tools to build it and maintain it.
Our parents showed us how to use tools the way they knew how. These methods
have often proved to be hurtful,
---
Our "Beginner’s Packet" includes the following pieces of FAA
literature: "A Guide to Abstinence," "Names of Sugar" (which
also includes names of flour and wheat), a food diary, and a special edition
of "The Abstinent Times," our quarterly newsletter.
do Names of Feelings. TCOYF ebook, blog, newsletter
---
We are happier, if nothing else, but because we don't
blame, and we take full responsibility for our feelings
and behaviours.
makes people soooo much easier to be around!
---
Get the tools to make your look, and more importantly
FEEL, as great as you want it to
After the weekend, you will feel better about your
life -- Gaurenteed!
---
Work, too, on our relationship with Money.
How about classes by subject -- Issues re:
Money
Sex
Love
Work
Parenting
if only 1 class, teach:
25% issues / awareness
50% How to / Skills / Practice / Feedback
25% Intention / Future
---
from the feedback I'm getting on the brochure, I feel like people are trying
to tell me, as they told Howard Rourk, to conform and be nice.
I have gone overboard in the past in being conversational (ie-immature), but
I my writing now is more mature and more professional, while still including
myself in the text/content.
Write ND from my perspective, 80% them, 20% me.
Write what I know, then back it up with how I know it, personally.
Say it clearly, and forthright,
and with strength and Attitude!
---
30 second elevator speech
------------------------------
We show people how to handle their Feelings -- Anger,
Fear, Depression (pause)
because once the tough stuff is handled, our bodies return to their Natural
state -- Happy, Loving and Free!
We're all about Helping People Feel Better, about themselves and their Lives.
We're about Handling our Feelings and Emotions
We're about Taking Control of our Lives
We're not an expensive, one-shot, motivational workshop that gets you all fired
up, but then leaves you flat.
We help people get out of repetitive behaviours that
don't work
Do you have any areas of your life that aren't working well for you?
There are probably things that you work really hard on, but are not getting
the results you want.
Chances are, there are some beliefs or feelings or thoughts that are getting
in your way.
We are instructors, not therapists. We're much faster
:-)
We don't analyze you or label you, and we don't need
to hear your whole life story.
We're not trying to make you dependant for life, just
1 short weekend.
We don't have much time, so we go right to the Heart
of the matter.
We help you break-through old belief systems and thought
patterns, quickly and effectively.
…
and we'll show you how it all works, so you can try
it at home, with people you trust, from now on!
Life Events + Thoughts & Beliefs + Feelings & Emotions
= Behaviors and Results
Control them, or they will Control You
In therapy, they call it:
The Cognitive - Affective - Behavioral Model (Adler, Perls, Downing)
At New Directions, we say it in simpler terms:
1. Understand your thoughts, and their origins
2. Identify, Accept and Express your Feelings in positive ways
3. Control your behaviours, and the feelings that push at them
…
that's it. It's not rocket science. It's just stuff that isn't taught in regular
school. If you don't learn it from the New Directions weekend, you will probably
learn it in the School of Hard Knocks.
Imagine a life where you:
Get your emotional needs met with empowering, Functional & FUN relationships
Understand and accept your "issues", and know what to do with them
Are able to make and keep your Boundaries and Values -- so you can keep yourself
safe, emotionally
Become vibrantly "in-touch" with your Feelings -- for a Love-filled,
Joyous, Passionate Life!!
Are able to be wide open and vulnerable with safe people -- creating intimacy,
closeness and Love
Actually Feel SAFE, for a change! (many have Never experienced that luxury
-- we'll show you how)
Have the courage and skills to take strong, purposeful action, if needed to
protect yourself and your loved ones.
Have a Knowing, a Wisdom, a Gift, that can only be achieved by being centered,
aware, and whole.
Once you learn to clearly identify how you Feel, and to Accept and Express
your Feelings in positive ways, you will find an overwhelming sense of peace
and control of your life! You can act, rather than re-act. You can understand
people and get along with others. You can make your life look, and more importantly
Feel, the way you want it to.
Don't let your past run your life any longer!
Don't let another painful, hopeless day go by!
Don't let your dysfunctional past ruin your present and your future!
This weekend is not for everyone. We will be gentle
and loving, but there will still be awkward, uncomfortable
moments during the process. It's called Growth, and
Learning, and getting out of your Comfort Zone. It's
a crutial part of going beyond where you've been before
and it's the stuff that life is made of … but
if you’re not up for it, that's Ok.
We promise to push your boundaries and stretch your
limits -- because that's what you've hired us to do.
You will breakthrough old barriers and limitations
and you will NOT leave the courseroom unhappy.
After the weekend, you WILL feel better about your
life -- We gaurentee it (or your money back)!
Once a graduate, always a friend.
---
how to blend the inner game with the outer game to
achieve total success.
---
Make decisions as a mature Adult, not a little child.
---
this is not the place they get to come each week to
whine about how they feel - this is where they come
to examine what is working in the present, what is
not, and to go through the
process of changing the "is not" part of
that by taking action.
- Penny R. Tupy, Life Coach
Feelings expressed for the following reasons are fine:
Clarity
Release
Acceptance
Remove Judgments
Go for deeper feelings (ex: express anger to get to the hurt underneath)
not Ok
whining
blaming (short-term is fine, in an effort to find your part in it all)
one-up-manship / competition
poor me (if you want people to feel sorry for you, your not looking for results)
victim (to explain how there really is NOthing you can do about it)
---
Therapists work on the "past", we must focus
on the Now, and the Future (which is what people want
to fix, anyway!
---
Therapy http://www.apa.org/videos/4310230.html
In the videotape, the therapist attempts to increase
the patient's expressiveness by helping her tune into
her feelings and intentions, encouraging her to respond
in accordance with these rather than with the concerns
she may have about the potential reactions of others.
By starting with an experiential focus on what the
patient feels and wants, the behaviorally oriented
rehearsal methods may be constructed as an "inside-out" approach
to assertion and expressiveness training. The vignette
in which the patient becomes angry at the therapist
illustrates how this response may be used as a sample
of the patient's interactional difficulties.
Dr. Goldfried began the session by asking: "Tell
me, what prompted you to get in contact with me at
this particular time?"
Toward the end of the session, Dr. Goldfried described
what will happen in therapy. He told Janet that he
would spend the first two sessions and part of the
third session getting to know her as a person. He informed
her that by the third session he would share with her
what he thought.
He described the therapeutic alliance that they would
seek to achieve, which was composed of three parts:
a) a bond between the patient and the therapist, in
which the patient must feel comfortable and assured
that the therapist is in tune with the patient and
that the therapist has the patient's interests at heart;
b) establishment of goals for the therapy; and c) agreement
about the means of therapy.
(3 weeks, over $200 in fees, not a thing has been changed
or accomplished…)
----
Subject: SMF/ND Brochure wording (sent to Glynk 4.10.4)
I feel like we need to give them a little more Background
about the class. and Talk to them more. I tried to
Explain how we do what we do a bit more verbosely,
rather than so many bullet points.
Too many words in the 3 columns. I suggest you spread
across 2 columns on the back, maybe all 3.
with a picture or two included which?
to counter the guy trapped in the bottle, we need a guy who is Set Free. add
the dove logo
I'm having trouble with the "real you" wording.
how about this…
Set Me Free - Letting Go and Taking Control
or
Set Me Free - Getting to the Heart of our Matter
or
Set Me Free - A Journey to the core of our Feelings
or
Set Me Free - The last great adventure: The journey
inward
or
Set Me Free - Break away from your dysfunctional Past
here goes...
---
In the Beginning
We believe that kids are born with all of their feelings
in tact… they can be angry, sad, scared & happy.
But then dysfunctional life happens and we are told
that it’s not Ok to feel our feelings. We have
to stuff them and deny them and act like they’re
not there.
Eventually, our feelings become a mess, and our lives
become unmanagable.
The feelings go UP, the logic goes DOWN.
and you end up in jail, or divorced, or alone.
We’ve been denying them for so long we can no
longer separate or identify or deal with our feelings
one at a time… they just glom together into
one big Pain Violence Depression RAGE
So who's in control here?
You or your feelings and emotions. Stop being a victim.
Learn about yourself.
We don't learn this shuff in schools. But you'd better
learn it somewhere. Either come spend a weekend with
us, or keep attending the School of Hard Knocks. It's
your life.
But we can Get to Know our Feelings.
be able to Identify them clearly
Accept that they are a God-given part of us
and learn to Express ourselves in healthy, productive
ways…
If you can control your feelings, you can have:
Close, intimate, loving Relationships
Kind, supportive, understand Family
Pride, passion and self-esteem
Humour, empathy and openness
Trust, faith and spirit
Powerful Workshop
After the workshop:
You will feel better about your life
You will feel more ALIVE
Your heart will be open and your
Your eyes will be open wide
and your heart...
You will have choices
What to Expect
It's an experiential class. We don't sit around
studying theories. We will give you some simple background
explanation of how our feelings were created, how they
are formed, where they got stuck and how to get them
unstuck... but only for awhile.
After that, it's time to get into it.
We have you sit face-to-face with folks
and tell them how you feel, and listen to how they
feel.
We'll have you share what it is you are most Angry
about
and who or what Hurt you the worst.
We'll have you identify and experience each of your
different emotions, so you will get to know them and
accept them… and ultimately manage them.
When you walk in, we will welcome you and invite you
into our hearts.
When you talk, we will listen, empathetically, and
not judge you or your past.
We will guide you, comfort you and hold a safe space
for you to release any pent-up feelings.
When you cry, we will be there to comfort you, hold
your hand and dry your tears.
...and when you leave, we'll be here to connect with
you in many ways
(in person, by phone, by email, via internet)
During and After the class, you will Feel:
Enthused Alive!
Filled-up Refreshed
Safe Energized
Accepted Loved
Discover the power to change problem relationships,
resolve long-term
emotional pain, and break-through to a happier, healthier
you!
Tools for your Emotional Toolbox
We do the best we can with what we know.
We use our tools the best we can.
Toolboxes: A comparison
Home Toolbox
hammer
screwdrivers
saw
duct tape (of course)
Emotional Toolbox
boundaries
anger
personal power
Learn who you really are.
What drives you.
Where your emotions came from.
How your past is still affecting you in the present.
Take control of your life,
by being able to
Identify, Accept and Express
your feelings and emotions
in positive, healthy ways.
"If you know what you Feel,
you'll know who you are
and what you want."
- Doc Downing
We've been teaching New Directions
for over 17 years now (4 states, 2,000 students).
We've pretty much got this Feeling
stuff figured out. You'll be happy to know
that it's not that complicated…
there are no systems to study or
mantras to memorize…
we just show you how it works,
let you experience your own range of feelings and emotions
in a safe place
with loving support and guidance
and you will be AMAZED at the Joy and Relief and Calm
that follows.
What a difference a weekend can make!
If we can make it safe enough for you on the outside,
you can explore the scary stuff that's inside your
heart and body.
It's easy to write Testimonials from happy students,
but trust me, these are very real (and there are many
more…)
We made the workshop as low-priced as we could, so
more of you could experience it.
other weekend workshops cost $300-700 and their prices
are rising, but we just lowered our prices.
Our class was $465 in 1988 -- now it's less than half
that price -- and the class has gotten even better
(and so have we)!
$199 -- half-price $99 to review (repeat the class)
$299 for two -- $149 each
$399 for three -- only $133 each
(that's nothing, when you see the growth you can make!)
Come join us -- We create Families!
When our family of origin can't or won't
provide what we need,
we go elsewhere. We create our own healthy,
supportive, loving families to help each other get
through.
That's
Taking Control of Your Life!
--
an "INTENSIVE"
---
1-pager site for ND
-------------------
write and write, with very few links
signed by me (some wording is below)
then, other links just at the bottom
see www.millionairemind.com
---
Action Items
------------
Have someone call me
Send info via Email
Send info via Airmail
Sign-up for the TCOYF Series
Read our blog
Order the book and/or workbook
---
The Taking Control Family (as of 4.2.4)
People
Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
Matt & Paula Perelstein, Lead Instructors
John Fisher, LMFT - correctional facility
Steve & Cheryl Nolan, Healers - meditation, Reiki, hypnosis
Glenda Young - educator, teacher for disadvantaged
Julie Bower - college professor, teacher
Therapists - Family Communication Center, Fresno, CA
Books, by Doc
Taking Control of Your Life textbook
Taking Control of Your Life workbook
Quotable Quotes
Anatomy of a Victim
Blog Writings, by Matt
"Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions" - http://2GetHelp.blogs.com
Workshops
New Directions Workshops - 3 cities in California
SetMeFree Workshops - No. California
Beyond Beliefs Workshops - New Zealand
Websites
www.FamilyCommCenter.org
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
www.TakingControlOfYourself.com
www.2GetHelp.com
www.FosterFriendsffa.org
www.FresnoTherapists.org
www.AdoptionAdvocatesOnline.org
www.FresnoYouthAdvocates.org
Online Communities
http://2GetHelp.com/ask
http://groups.MSN.com/2GetHelp
Professional Assistance online
Dear Doc - http://www.familycommcenter.org/Dear_Doc/Read_Doc_s_Mail/read_doc_s_mail.html
Ask-a-Pro - Ask-a-Therapist, Ask-a-Coach, Ask-a-Parent
http://2gethelp.com/ask/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=4
Support Groups
Live - Saturday mornings, 9am, Fresno, CA
Live - Tuesday afternoons, 3pm, Fresno, CA $10
Online - Monday evenings, 7:30pm PST on http://groups.MSN.com/2GetHelp
ND Follow-up Options
----------------------------------
Review - go wider and deeper, $99
Assist - help others, and yourself, no charge
Students - get family and friends to class so you can
be real with them, $199, 2 for $299, 3 for $399
Coaching - Matt or Paula, varies
Therapy - Doc or Cheri or Maryl, varies
Huge Group, Anger Mgt, ADAPT - Sat. mornings at 9,
no charge
Tuesday Group with Doc - Tuesday afternoons at 3, $10
Online support groups - Monday evenings at 7:30, no
charge (http://groups.msn.com/2gethelp)
Taking Control of Your Life textbook - read it, $19.95
Workbook - do it, $12.95
Matt's blog - check it out, no charge (http://2gethelp.blogs.com)
Online communities - stay connected (http://groups.2gethelp.com/ask & http://groups.msn.com/2gethelp)
---
"
AT-TEN-TION!"
- NAV
- Military
- Security
- Police
- us, too!
with INTENTION
- Not fearful and Weak
- Courageous, Wise and Strong
We teach Courage
We show you your own inner Wisdom
and share with you some of ours
We show you how to be Strong, emotionally
We let people Feel their PERSONAL POWER
… and man, it feels GREAT!
I don't think I will EVER go back to being a Victim
again. Not ever.
It works! I'm here to tell you, as my own biggest
Testimonial, it works!
I have come soooo far -- from really, really Wimpy,
and totally Naïve (ask my wife, she'll tell you
-- e-Gads, I was dumb as a stump).
I'm not Billy Bad-ass now, still. I have a ways to
go yet, but hey, I do feel like a MAN now, that I never
felt before. I felt like a little child, pertending
to act like a Man -- hoping no one would notice, or
pull my covers. Not good.
Well, it got bad enough for me, that I took drastic
action -- I went to this darned Weekend Workshop that
my friend had invited me to. She was going and she
one of the most powerful ladies I knew (still is).
Anyway, she told me to come to her Graduation, which
I did. As soon as I got inside and felt the ENERGY
in the room, I knew this was for ME.
I got up in the middle of the Graduation to go find
someone to SIGN ME UP. (Back then, it was over $450,
so that was no small decision). I went to the next
workshop I could, LOVED IT (as I knew I would), IT
CHANGED MY LIFE, and never stopped. I knew way back
then that this was my calling in life, to bring these
workshops to the world.
I was hooked (and still am, 18 years later)!
I went to the class to learn about me. Then I took the Instructor Course to
learn how to help others. I brought both my parents, my sister, my best friend,
anyone I could find to...
See how much PERSONAL POWER they have bottled up
inside.
Learn what HAVING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE can feel like.
Wonder and bask in the glow of NOT feeling Angry
for once in my life.
come join us.
Buy Now
After doing this for awhile I have come to see that
PEOPLE REALLY DON'T KNOW THEMSELVES VERY WELL.
I have seen people who are whiney victims, become
amazing people.
I have seen people who were at that last, last hope
for something to work (seriously, we've had more than
one student say "this is it. I was planning to
end my life this weekend, but I thought I'd give it
one last chance with this workshop.")
I have seen people full of shame, and guilt, and embarrassment,
to the point that they couldn't leave the house.
Imagine having the nerve to be choosey about your
partner, when you feel like you are the lowest slug
in the world. Of course, you are going to let people
beat you up, and control you, and put you down -- as
long as they DON'T LEAVE ME.
Here's what else I am here to tell you --
You care more than you let on.
You need Love, more than you want to admit.
Your body is full of unexpressed Feelings and Emotions.
You are basing your adult life on decisions you made
as a small child.
… that's the bad news.
Here's the good news...
You have more personal power than you think you do.
You will be Amazed at the ALIVENESS you can create
You have more feelings than you think.
You can TAKE CONTROL of your life WAY MORE than you
currently believe!
---
Helping Services
Free Write in, answer when we can, Ask-a-Pro
$5 Group phone time, or IM
$20-30/hour Loving Support - listen, compassion, understanding, little advice
$30-100/hour Life Coach - trained professionals, assessments, tested learning
programs
$80-200/hour Business Coach - experienced, certified pros re: sales, marketing,
HR, teamwork, branding, positioning
---
"
May I speak freely?"
- Michele
---
"
Fire 'em!"
- Doc
---
Secret = Fact + Shame
---
Learn to Trust and Love again (even if you've been
burned)
Find Answers to: Why Do I Keep Doing This?
Understand Yourself and Others
Take control of your Anger, Guilt and Depression
Heal your Past and Shape Your Future
Make your life FEEL ALIVE!
Practical teachings to Improve your daily Life experience.
Powerful, lasting results.
Make "real" new friends -- you'll be amazed
how close you can feel as we grow, learn and laugh
together, in an safe, intimate, transformational weekend
experience. Join us.
whatchathink?
ok, let me try again...
I just read thru the CIS's from last class (duh, never
thought of that before). Here's what they said they
wanted:
connect,
trust again,
fun,
happiness,
stop destructive behaviours
make better life decisions
how to deal with my past
be more open
divorce
answers
why I attract the wrong men
why I continue to ...
learn to feel again
how about these?
Understand Yourself and Others
Stop Punishing Yourself with Guilt
Reconnect with your Peace, Trust and Love Heal your
Past & Shape your Future FEEL YOUR LIFE COME ALIVE
AGAIN!
"
Sell them what they Want,
then teach what they Need."
---
Describe:
Open vs. Closed heart
Trusting vs. Untrusting (usually of self)
self-processing
dealing with Anger, esp. at oneself
Forgiveness = Letting Go of pain - it’s for YOU!
doesn't mean Acceptance
Active feelings vs. inactive Awareness (less painful)
---
Call us if:
You want MORE control of your life.
You want to CARRY LESS PAIN.
You want to BE ANGRY LESS often.
You want MORE LOVE.
You want MORE JOY.
You want MORE INTIMACY.
---
Good writeups of the Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs,
with additional resources
http://web.utk.edu/~gwynne/maslow.HTM
http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/maslow.html
original wording, as written by Abraham Maslow in “Motivation
and Personality” in 1943
Individuals who operate primarily at a particular level
have considerably less ability to understand higher
levels. A person with strong ego needs, who acts on
satisfying those needs regularly, just doesn't understand
the person who's ego needs are fully satisfied and
are totally engaged in a self-actualized project. Such "ego
driven" people would ask, "But, who's it
for?"
Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs
1. Food and water
2. Shelter and warmth
3. Safety & Security - we can help here, in case
of emergency
4. Belonging - we are focused here
5. Self-actualization - we are working toward here
---
Guilt vs. Shame
Guilt = you did a bad thing
Shame = you are a bad person
Remedy: GIVE THEM BACK to where they came from
---
New Directions Weekend Workshop
"Getting to the Heart of the Matter."
---
We help people FEEL
We teach people HOW TO FEEL.
We teach people that they CAN FEEL.
We show them that it's OK TO FEEL.
We let them EXPRESS FEELINGS (in safe ways)
We show people that they have Personal Power and strength,
far more than they had ever imagined.
We let people experience their Anger, so they get to
know it and get it under control.
We hold people as they cry, for Sadness must be felt,
accepted and released
We hold a pillow as Rage and Violation and Abuse are
expelled
We attack our Depression with Anger, as our bodies
can stand it no longer.
We calm people's Fears, for our bodies have wisdom
to share with us... we must listen, but we may not
relent.
We let people FEEL, whatever it is they most need to
FEEL.
We love and accept, support and encourage, hug and
hold, laugh and cry.
"When Feelings are expressed as intensely as
they are felt, they can lessen and are free to change"
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT</em>
-----
<
Personal Responsibility
"
If it's to be, it's up to me."
- lament of those stuck in control, unable to obtain
cooperation.
however, it's also TRUE. It's called Personal Responsibility… and
it really works!
The happiest people I know are those who feel they
have the power to make a difference in EVERY area of
their lives. Not unrealistic, unachievable control,
but the power to make a difference, at least inside
ourselves.
I don't have to LIKE a situation… but I can
adjust my attitude ABOUT that situation, to a place
where it doesn't constantly bother me, eat at me, control
me.
There are a lot of things we do NOT have the power
to control -- some taxes, some gov't, some other countries
-- but at the very least, we do have the power to control
our Attitude about those things. Even if the things
themselves are out of our control, we can choose to
feel better about some things, or care less about some
things that hurt, or even choose NOT to be afraid.
There is a damned thing I can do to stop a terrorist,
if they plan out an anonymous, random attack on me
(like the 911 victims). I cannot do anything about
it, and I REFUSE to live in daily fear of that totally
random attack happening. They want to make it miserable
for us… and I will not relent to that.
-----
I think we can do with Emotions, what Thomas did with
Coaching.
Coaching in general
Dr. Phil
the Reality shows
nationwide
movement
attitude
way of being
a church
a religion
something to believe in
a way of life
a thought to subscribe to
a system of beliefs
a knowing
an experiencing
a life-giver, life-sustainer
an adventure
---
One of the greatest lessons we learn in class is how
to LISTEN.
fully, completely, with our whole being.
we have the experience of being able to TOTALLY give our attention, love, concern,
support to another person.
What an Awesome skill to have…
to be a good listener
to be able to Be There for people, for your friends, for your family, for your
kids
wow.
that's something I want on my tombstone.
he was a good listener.
yep.
just for awhile, we can 'not matter', let go of all
need for attention and ego strokes, let go of having
to be right
let go of needing to make a point, let go of any needs at all
… and just be there…
… Listening …
… and getting a tissue, or a glass of water
and letting someone vent
and just listen
and do not judge
and do not condemn
and do not take sides
and just be << with >>
hold their hand if they are afraid
hold a pillow for them, or point them to the floor
by the couch or bed… where they can wail away
on anyone they so choose.
let them scream
let them cry
let them say whatever it is they need to say
to get it out
to get it ALL out
it doesn't all need to be said, but it all needs to
be Released
the words don't really matter… it's the feeling.
the emotion. the passion
that's what needs to come out
and Let go of.
remember, we don't carry stuff around unless it's
serving some purpose for us
like validation
or confirmation
or REMINDER
ahhhhh ! ! !
Boundaries
always boundaries, working within parameters
we are never so free, that we are free to be brutal
or vicious
"
I love my Boundaries… they set me Free!"
It doesn't mean you are 'broken'… it just means
you have more pain or anger than you are still carrying.
You may be doing fine… physically, financially,
socially, spiritually… any or all of the above.
Although we can help in all those areas, a decision
to take the class is NOT an admittance that you can't
handle it… that you are broken… or out
of control. It just means that:
----
Those Voices
Yes, those tiny voices that gets stuck in your head...
other people's, family members, our judgments of ourselves… some
long past, some recent... some of them nag at us, and
won't leave us alone. You know, stuff like "you
can't do that!" or "No Way!" or "Get
away from me." Sometimes they are actual words,
sometimes they are just a feeling, or a judgment that
was put on us.
Sometimes, after a while of hearing, feeling (and
trying to ignore) those voices, we "give in" and
just friggin' do whatever they were saying to, or come
to believe, as they do, that we are no good. Or we
could get mad and do the opposite, and try to prove
ourselves.
Either way are we not "in control"... the
voices are.
Our job, I think, is to hear not only the LOUD, obvious
voices, but also the soft, nagging, persistent ones.
If we carry the voices with us, that means we have
an "issue" that needs to be cleaned up or
discarded. There is an emotional hook that needs to
be identified, accepted and released.
Sit quietly, alone, with no distractions and no noise
and just listen. Hear what's going on inside your head...
just listen. You'll hear them. Now decide. Who's right
and who's not. Who stays and who goes. Whose voices
are you willing to continue to carry and whose will
you discard (rightfully, completely and aggressively,
if necessary).
We hereby take control of our minds, our thoughts,
our beliefs and our feelings.
Issue = pain (or anger or other negative emotion)
Pain must be released, or it drives us (consciously
or unconsciously)
Release of pain = Emotional HEALTH and happiness!!
---
Feelings: Understand 'em, Accept 'em, Express 'em
appropriately
Emotions: You take control of them, or they will take
control of you
ND: Know yourself, Understand people, Take control
of your Life
Once a graduate, always a friend.
Life: Understand it, Own it, LOVE it!
---
Quotes
"
What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant
intelligence of the child
and the feeble mentality of the average adult."
- Sigmund Freud
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
There is more to life than increasing its speed."
-- Mahatma Gandhi
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
We often spend so much time coping with problems along
our path that we only
have a dim or even inaccurate view of what's really
important to us."
- Peter Senge
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide
how anybody or anything
outside ourselves will affect us."
- Stephen Covey
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
We add to our own pain and suffering by being overly
sensitive,
over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking
things too personally."
- His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those
who cannot read and write,
but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
- Alvin Toffler
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
Emotional intelligence, 'can matter as much as IQ'
in determining a person's well-being and effectiveness
in life."
- Dr. Claude Steiner
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't,
you are usually right."
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)
---
3 core issues, per Coach T (actually 12 core dynamics
broken down by Peter Gregory)
Resisting feeling things fully.
Looking for yourself where you are not.
Trying to force an outcome.
---
"Here are Three Reasons Why I Priced The
New Directions Weekend Workshop
at an Affordable $199"
FIRST REASON: I want you to absolutely overwhelmed
by the amount of information and tools you get in the
weekend, compared to the investment I'm asking you
to make. Imagine being so impressed and excited about
the workshop that you can't wait to tell all your family
and friends to go to the next weekend they can!
You see, we've been teaching ND for over 17 years
now. When we started, the weekend (same length as now)
was $465. We did get clients, but it was painful for
them to come up with that much money all at once. So
we dropped the price to only $199 so more people could
take advantage of the awesome experience of the New
Directions weekend.
SECOND REASON: I truly
THIRD REASON: I wanted to make sure that you have
an IMMEDIATE PAYBACK from the weekend. I guarantee
that after the weekend, you will feel more ALIVE, ALERT
and FEELING GREAT! At this price point, it's a "no
brainer" to sign-up today.
Sincerely,
Matt Perelstein
Co-owner and Instructor, Directions Unlimited
P.S. If you have any questions that you'd like to
ask me personally before signing up for the New Directions
Weekend Workshop, please feel free to call me at the
number below. If I'm not in, simply leave me a detailed
message and I will call you back as fast as I can.
Matt@2GetHelp.com - Office Phone 916-599-8597
----
I met a lady who was hurting. I talked to her, via
email, maybe 3-4 times.
I said, "give me $199 and a weekend and I will
make you Happy."
She said "it's hard for me to trust, but I will
give you the money and take the class."
after class, I asked her how she felt. was it worth
it, I asked.
She only said, "Wow!" and smiled from ear
to ear.
And the next class she came back with her boys.
So she could pass on her happiness to others
---
Educating your Heart, as well as your Mind
----
Negative Right-Brain Experiences & Flashbacks
+
Positive Right-Brain Experiences & Flashbacks
+
Positive Left-brain Knowledge
=
Personal Power (Freedom Joy Balance Love) Choices
---
here's how it happened to me, and here's how I see
it happening in other people:
on specific ISSUES, there is a progression,
From Bleeding to Healing
stop the bleeding - if you're really hurting, you gotta get that OUT of your
SYSTEM. Somehow.
trust me, it's coming out anyway… but not in ways you might want it to
be!
like blasting your family or your co-workers, or your friends.
like getting in arguments regularly
guys become a-holes, women become b_'s
you're unhappy. you're unfulfilled. you're Frustrated. you've friggin' Angry
Aaaahhhhhh !!!
you can feel it boiling
you can spit nails
you face is hot, your teeth and fists are clenched and your blood's pumping
hard.
you're boiling ANGRY!
but you don't know what to do with it.
you are ready to explode, but How? Where? When? At
or On Whom?!?
Learn ways to:
Be Aware of What You Feel
----
That's True... if you know not WHAT it is you are supposed
to learn, you at least know there IS something there
to learn. It will soon become very evident WHAT.
I say, pick-up your feet and enjoy the ride.
I realized last night...
Neat thing about being "aware" is that now
we just "realize" things. The learning is
not a struggle, nor even requires much of our concentrated
attention... somehow the lessons know they are Allowed
and even Welcome. We open our minds and spirits to
receive and Wham, here they come. too cool.
keep letting go...
----------
when I see the bold, I kinda say it louder in my head.
more like a Command. a little louder, a little stronger,
if done well, it becomes Very Loud. so learn to use
it wisely.
see robin's eBook for great example
from negative, to wishy-washy, to more wishy-washy,
to confused, to aware, to conscious, to understanding,
to In Charge.
in pain, then Increasing for a short time, then radically decreasing - as we
become aware of "issues", face 'em head on, beat 'em, and come back
up to live life, more in control, from here on.
---
We "deal" with our feelings. They are there,
underlying everything, coloring our world, whether
we like them or not.
The question is:
"Am I in charge of my feelings and emotions
and behaviors, or are they in charge of ME?!?"
Who runs the show, in your body?
If you get pissed about something, what do you do
with that feeling?
Do you stuff it inside, into that long, nasty list of things that piss you
off, that you're unhappy and grumpy about?
Does it become just another thing that the world handed you, that you can't
do anything about.
Is it another irritation, and another problem, and another set-back, until
you are just Ready to BLOW?!?
Well, we call that "stuffing our feelings".
that's a bad thing.
We like to say
"feelings need to be expressed, as intensely as they were felt."
so do you go blow up at your boss, tell him or her
Exactly what you think of them and where they shove
this job??
maybe, and maybe not. (sounds good, tho, doesn't it?)
You see, when our Emotions are High, our Logic is
Low. When we are feeling a lot, our emotions kinda
take over our brain it makes it hard to think clearly.
They get real LOUD, and obnoxious sometimes.
But again, I ask… Are you in charge of your
emotions and feelings, or are they in charge of you?
When you get angry, do you lash out without thinking?
when you are hurt, do you immediately cover it up with
anger, and then lash out without thinking?
do you say hurtful things when you are hurt?
or do you go further inside yourself?
getting more depressed.
feeling down and blue and hopeless.
until you can't hardly function, 'cause the weight
of the world is dragging you down?
or have you developed your own unique way of dealing
with your feelings?
so my next question to you is:
"Is what you're doing getting you what you want,
in the long run?"
is your life going the way you want it to?
do you Feel the way you want to Feel most of the time?
are you as Happy and Loving and Free as you want to
be?
or is life winning? are you letting 'em get to you?
Come to New Directions for a weekend. Let us show
you that there is another way to experience life.
on our terms
feeling what we WANT TO FEEL
choosing from our full box of emotional tools, at the
right time, in the appropriate fashion, with the best
energy.
Where else are you gonna learn this stuff -- in the
school of hard knocks? We've all been there, but damn,
we don’t have to stay there. We can rise about
it all and live our lives happy and free, no matter
what the world throws at us.
ND grads aren't perfect, but they are a damned site
better to be around then their shut-down, out-of-touch,
whining, victimized, blaming counterparts.
We are responsible for ourselves - our lives, our
feelings and our behaviours.
Let's take responsibility for our emotional lives
right now.
Either click here ->
or pick up the phone and call Carrol.
Your life will be better, from now on.
---
1 more note... if you are trying to introduce the course
to someone, Invite them to Graduation. At graduations,
people get to FEEL the great energy, see the smiling
faces, watch the hugging and the joy on people's
faces.
that's where it all started for me...
back in 1985, I was a mess. I had a good job, a
The job was great, as VP of a computer-store franchiser,
I got to travel, make million-dollar deals and get
courted by some very large computer manufacturers,
wanting me to stock their wares in our warehouse. I
was on top of my game, business-wise.
And I had a nice wife. She liked me ok and I liked
her ok, but there was no passion between us.
And I wasn't happy. I was lost, wanting more, but
not knowing what, or where to find it... no less how
to go about getting it.
---
If you continue to be pissed off at someone, or somebody,
who's in charge? It makes you a Victim of that event
or person… and that's probably the LAST thing
you want to feel in that situation.
Let's say someone hurt you and angered you, bad. You
don't like what they did. You don't want to talk to
them, ever again. You lost respect for them, and you
are Angry.
What do you do about it? What's your plan for handling
your anger, when it comes up (and trust me, it will)?
Being in control of our lives means we use what we
know, to live the best way we can, and prepare for
the future as best we can, so when the unexpected arises
(and the expected, too), we have the right "tools" in
our emotional toolbox to effectively manage whatever
life throws us.
---
Our Emotional Toolbox
When stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to
fix it, right? Well, first we notice that it needs
attention. Once it gets irritating enough, we decide
we are gonna do something about it. We go to the Toolbox
for the right tool to put the irritant back in working
condition, so we can forget about it again.
In our toolbox, we have various tools that we use
to help us change (fix) the things we want to work
on.
"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend
to see every problem as a nail."
- Abraham H. Maslow
In our home toolbox, we probably have the following:
_ Toolbox
screwdrivers
hammer
pliers
wrenches
sockets
nails
duct tape
Now, let's say something goes badly within your family.
People aren't speaking to each other. There are nasty
looks and long faces and the only communication is
glaring, nasty looks. What do you do?
Dig into your emotional toolbox, of course.
Emotional Toolbox
Anger
Fear
Depression
Sadness
Personal Power
Self-Esteem
You've probably heard the phrase "Use the right
tool for the job."
The cool part is that your emotional toolbox is Always
with you. No matter where you go, or whom you are with,
or what life throws at you… your emotional toolbox
is there, ready to serve you at a moment's notice.
As a teenager, did you leave your original family
with an emotional toolbox FULL of wonderful, joyous,
effective tools that you can use in your daily life
to make your life experience Light and Free and Easy?
yeah, well, I didn't either.
but I have found a way to collect my own tools. I
found a way to enrich those tools, and practice using
them in a safe place. I found a place where I would
be accepted and encouraged and taught about the emotional
tools that exist, how EASY THEY ARE ACQUIRE, and how
much difference they can make in my life!
They're free, they work, and they are yours… if
you just reach-out and ask for them. We'll teach you
about your feelings. We'll show you how they work,
why they work, where they came from, and what to do
with them. You'll get a chance to practice, too, in
a loving, safe, encouraging environment the Promotes
growth and love. People don't fail at New Directions… not
ever. If you choose not to do something we ask you
do, say "no, thank you.". If we try to take
you places that aren't comfortable and are too big
a stretch right now, no problem. opt-out.
but if you are ready to make some big changes in your
life.
if you are ready to
Turn your Anger into Love,
your Sadness into Joy,
and your Depression into Personal Power?!?
Then stand-up and say "I am THROUGH Being a Victim!!!"
"and I am FINISHED Blaming Others… and
Myself!"
I Choose to Feel Alive!!!
---
Learning about your FEELINGS, and how they work, puts
you in control of EVERYTHING, Every situation, every
contact, every moment of every day!! That's hard to
beat.
Am I wrong? Is there a time where you Don't need
- to understand what's happening inside you
- to choose the appropriate emotion
- at the right time
- get your True Intentions across
- Learn to communicate
get your feelings across
feel Heard
feel Validated
to Ask for what you want
We build Strength of Character
After taking the class a few times, people from ND
are Braver.
Get your family speaking again
Clear the air
bury the hatchet
You know you have some huge issue(s) hanging over
everyone's head… maybe someone screwed up in
a big way, or someone lost their temper and said some
mean nasty things that couldn't be taken back.
There's something dampening the spirit of your relationship
-- and you're sick of it hanging there. We don't let
people get mean, and call names, or hit, or attack.
People can only express their true, responsible feelings,
and how that affected them… no dysfunctional
stuff. We can help you clear the air, get resolution,
break down the walls that separate you from the closeness
you want, and know you can have, but can't quite make
it happen. Get some help. We will help you patch up
those ill-wills to bring closeness and understanding
and forgiveness, perhaps like NEVER BEFORE.
Benefits for coming
happier
feel better
more satisfied with life
more control
simplify
get back to your roots
what's the problem
feel bad
life isn't going the way they want
lecture, intro
get 'em feeling what you want
openness, learning mode, loving, trusting, but aware
close up, protected, powerful, a bit angry, more
armor
strong
"The world fights wars cause they don't understand
Power, they get Tuff. and greedy."
- PKP, 9.19.3
I started out by designing, building, and advertising
the site.
You know what sucks. I had so little help and support
that one day, when I just stopped doing 2gh… nobody
said a flippin' word. not 1. how did I put that off?
whatever. do it different next time.
"Whatever" = anger, "I'm going to act
like I don't care, even tho' it hurts."
"
whatEver" - show the dif., Audio
"
Duh!" = judgment, stupid, obvious, put-down, makes
you feel better and makes the other person feel worse.
phrases that make you feel better and makes the other
person feel worse.
"
duh!"
"
I told you so."
"
Take popular phrases and analyze them, show what they
mean, feeling-wise.
-------------------------------
Emotions and Feelings
-------------------------------
that's us
that's the niche
that's the newsletter
a quote
Accentuate the Positive, Ignore the Negative
Yes, market toward women!
Definitely!
"
The great thing in this world is not so much where
we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
The Last Great Adventure - The Journey Inward
The ONLY way to be totally In Control of your life.
Understanding yourself.
Being able to control yourself.
Being able to act & react Totally Consciously,
and Have Choices, at ALL times (well, as many as you
can anyway).
You no longer React, out of your control. You Choose
your behaviours, and your feelings. You trust yourself.
You feel good about yourself. You know who you are
and where you are going.
Imagine your worst enemy.
Follow this…
you're at work
your boss is pissed
you're shaking a bit inside
he walks right up to you
and says gruffly
"Why wasn't this done?"
you smile gently
you stand your ground
you explain why it was late, and how it was a perfectly
good reason.
you assure him that when the good reason goes away, this certainly is one of
your priorities and it will be done, well.
you speak in kind, but powerful words.
you re-assure him, 'cause you understand stress. and you know he's scared,
too. and you have bad days sometimes too.
you touch his arm once in a while as you talk, to gentle him down and know
you are on the same team.
you know it's not sexual (or it is), because you understand yourself, and you
know who you're after for a love relationship and who you're not.
you understand love.
you can give it freely, accept it with open arms and let it fill you up to
Bursting, the caring, the warmth, the fullness of it all.
you give love to humanity, to dogs, and cats, and children, and the elderly,
and the handicapped, and the sick… those less fortunate than you
and to your friends, and your family (well, at least to the nice ones… you
ignore the yucky ones).
you love your friends, openly and honestly. sometimes
you can't help doing stuff for them.
Accentuate the Positive, Ignore the Negative
IDEA
do a brochure and just Talk to people.
have my picture sitting on the floor
maybe ND is gonna be me
what a delicate balance of feelings and connections I will need to ride.
find a simple, unique way to accentuate certain words.
If there is distance between you, one of the Best
things that we do in New Directions is to create "connections" --
true, deep, life-changing understanding and appreciation
for other humans, so that real bonding can occur. Very
difficult to create on your own. People kept saying
that the last class in Fresno created "incredible
bonding". Once you experience your feelings with
each other, and these are accepted and understood,
you will be amazed at close you will feel.
Using Verbs, rather than adjectives
instruct
guide
convey
show
lead
direct
counsel
suggest
help
mentor
manage
rudder
teach
tutor
usher
navigate
supervise
facilitate
sherpa
hint
advise
coach
warn
beacon
manual
text
directory
handbook
text
rudder
sails
motto
values
brotherhood
fellowship
union
association
federation
group
family
gap
family can only
what you say speaks so loud, I can't hear what you
are saying
cleanup the past to make a better future
intimacy
trust
safety
love
togetherness
understanding
forgiveness
choose
distinguish
identify
embrace
pick
Feel that you are in control of your emotions and reactions
Be "in touch" with your feelings
Heal your past hurts, angers and disappointments
Understand yourself. your reactions, your thoughts
Take Control of YOUR Life
Healing
Although the events that happened to us in our past cannot be changed, repairing
the meanings behind them and the feelings derived from them we can release
our pain and heal our hearts.
Feelings
Although it can be difficult, we do have control over what we feel, how deeply
we feel, and how long we choose to feel each feeling. "If you know what
you feel, you'll know who you are and what you want." Being in touch
with our feelings puts us in control of our lives.
Awareness
We live so much of our lives unconsciously, out of control - acting like our
parents, running from our fears, reacting to others around us. Learning to
be consciously aware of our feelings, beliefs and reactions puts us back
in control of ourselves.
Success Stories (true stories, names are confidential)
Jane grew up in a violently dysfunctional household. Her father was an alcoholic
and her mother an enabler. She felt small and powerless and unimportant, as
they raged and fought and ignored Jane and her sisters.
Jane grew up, started dating and got married… but it didn't go well.
Although at first he seemed ok, her husband became unreliable, drank more and
more and eventually became angry and abusive… just like her Dad. Jane
felt small and powerless and unimportant, as her husband's drinking became
more important than Jane.
Jane came to New Directions, thru the advice of her therapist, and she got
angry. She was livid. She got mad at her Dad for all his drinking caused, she
got mad at her Mom for allowing his behaviour and making her fear more important
than her kids, and she got mad at her husband for wasting away… she even
got mad at herself for making bad choices and allowing her fears and powerlessness
control her life.
Now Jane is much happier. She doesn't carry the repressed anger with her everyday.
She makes clear, informed decisions, not based on her family or past, but on
the situation in front of her. She has gotten stronger and was able to create
closeness and boundaries in her marriage. She still has moments of doubt and
insecurity, but she feels clearer and stronger than ever before.
Do you have a deep inner urge to make sense of your
life and the world around you? To experience more meaning
and purpose?
Or have you come to an impasse in your life? Are you
unfulfilled? Stuck in recurring health, relationship
or financial challenges? Learning but not growing and
changing?
<< See also PSI Seminars paperwork from Robin >>
ND FAQs
-----------
Pre-sign-up
How do you do it so cheaply?
I don't live nearby, is it really worth it to travel
there?
You bet.
I have to travel, what arrangements do I need?
Hotel: La Quinta is less than a block away. It's about
$70 a night and is quite nice. However, if you want
to (and we have room), we could maybe let you stay
at one of our homes for the weekend (contact us).
Car Rental: Lots of nationwide car rental agencies
are available at the airport.
Airport: Fresno Yosemite International Airport (FYI)
is only a few miles away.
Dining: There are 4 restaurants within 1 block of the
hotel. There are many others in the area, as well.
Since you will be in the class most of the weekend,
you won't need a car, as we are happy to share rides.
If you'd rather, you could get a taxi or limo to the
hotel, and not get a rental car at all.
Who are you guys?
Paula and Matt have been teaching New Directions for
over 17 years now. We started as students and met
in the intensive, 2-year instructor training program
of a similar workshop in Boulder, Colorado… (more
in dif. email)
Why do it in a group? Isn't one-on-one more personal
and productive?
Nope. We've tried it. No doubt that one-on-one can
get great results, but they are often:
Slower, sometimes taking months or years to make real progress
More expensive. Most one-on-one services (therapy, coaching, counseling, consulting)
charge by the hour. We charge $199 (or less) for the entire weekend, which
calculates to a range of only $5-$8/hour.
The group experience is truly awesome. People in the group generate the energy,
intensity and emotional safety necessary to dig way deep inside ourselves.
There is no feeling in the world like when you feel TOTALLY safe and supported
by a entire group of people! You feel a incredible sense of Belonging, of Fitting-In,
of Being Ok, that is so difficult to create on your own. We are the most "accepting" people
you may ever meet. Come experience how a Group Hug, at the right time and with
the right intention, can truly change your life!
A whole weekend?
Yep. We made it off work hours for convenience. It
takes the whole weekend to make sure everybody gets
a chance.
How does the weekend progress?
On Friday night, our main intention is to make sure
everyone feels as Safe as possible, as we build Trust
and Openness to Learning. We do some sharing, some
lecture and a visualization, and you leave with 6
homework questions for you to think about.
On Saturday morning, we remain in the large group for
awhile, more sharing, more lecture plus a few powerful
exercises. Around lunchtime, we get into smaller groups,
so that no one gets lost in the crowd. We remain in
these smaller "teams" the rest of the weekend,
building a sense of Family, Belonging and Safety. We
then share the answers to our homework questions and
do another exercise that brings people closer and starts
the feeling process.
The remainder of Saturday and most of the day on Sunday
is spent on the small teams and one-on-one. Each student
gets a chance to share their personal stories, get
support and encouragement from their small group and
the large group, and
During this time, you will feel every conceivable feeling,
on purpose, learning to identify, accept and release
so many of body's natural feelings and emotions. Afterwards,
you will feel relief, relaxation and an openness that
is unparalleled. You will leave with a rejuvenated
Spirit, a renewed Hope in what's possible, and the
tools to make your life looks, and more importantly
FEEL, the way you want it to!
come to class whenever you can, but family first. do
the ren faire with Shannah. ... in exchange for her
coming to class with you in Paso. as a gift to you.
As I told her, you want the VERY best life you can
offer her, and you found a place that teaches stuff
about life that cannot be found anywhere else. "Respect
that I have some sense and would know a good, worthwhile
thing when I see it." Come hear what I have
heard, experience what has happened with me and so
many others, feel your feelings in a way that you
have never experienced them before. If she gives
it her best and she really don't dig it, fine...
thanks for trusting me... no harm done. Please take
out just one weekend of your time for me, ok? I'll
hang with you at the ren faire, you hang with me
in Paso...deal? thanks. I love you, too. (also do
stop by in costume, both of you, so she can see that
the people at ND are just regular silly people, trying
to feel better.)
Sooo many people are in sooo much pain, and we can
curb it sooo fast, for sooo little money, and they
feel sooo good afterwards…
New Directions Weekend Workshop
The New Directions Weekend offers participants a chance
to learn, change and grow in a safe, controlled environment.
You will learn practical relationship tools, new attitudes
and life-changing beliefs.
You will experience love, joy and freedom... often
for the first time in a long, long time.
You will leave the New Directions Weekend invigorated,
clear and hopeful.
During the class, you will learn how emotions are
formed, how to identify them one-at-a-time and you'll
get a chance to practice accessing, expressing and
using emotions as you will on a day-to-day basis. These
powerful new tools bring with them a renewed sense
of Personal Power, which spills over into daily life
and work. Afterwards, you will be less distracted by
emotional issues at work, build stronger relationships
and able to listen, react and communicate in clearer,
more effective ways.
In the New Directions weekend, under the careful supervision
of a licensed therapist (M.K. "Doc" Downing,
PhD, MSW, LMFT) and experienced instructional staff,
participants are encouraged to release some of their
backed-up emotions, deep-seated pains and unresolved
anger. From this pain, core belief systems are formed
from our past life experiences and they continue to
affect our thoughts, feelings and behaviors today.
Since many of us had parents, teachers and role-models
who were unable to acknowledge and express their emotions
in positive, functional ways, we learn dysfunctional,
destructive, even violent ways to handle problems and
disagreements (Dr. Phil calls them "Defining Moments").
New Directions is useful to the business and professional
community as well, including
Employee Assistance Programs
Stress and Job Burnout
Divorces, Deaths, other huge, emotional Events
Personal Issues interfering with Work
Customer Service Training - builds compassion and understanding
For over 17 years now, people have been changing their
lives for the better in one short, intensive weekend.
We also offer follow-up programs for graduates, including
free therapy support groups, reunions and the ability
to come back to class to continue work and to help
others, forever!
New Directions End-of-Year
COMMUNITY-BUILDING SPECIAL
-----------------------------------------------------
While so many prices are going up, our prices are
dropping!
To integrate these tools into a new way of life, we
need emotional support, shared experiences and positive
reinforcement. What better way to create your own support
network than to have friends and loved ones around
you who understand, share and encourage the new way-of-being.
For the remainder of 2004:
The price to change one life is still only $199.
Bring a friend, co-worker or family member and you both save 25%.
Get 3 of you together and save 33%.
1 fer $199 -- same low price
2 fer $299 -- $149 each
3 for $399 -- $133 each
Wife and Husband
Mother and Daughter
Father and Son
Brothers, Sisters
Good Friends and Lovers
Concerned Co-Workers
... anyone you wish ...
Bring a friend. Experience the class together. You'll
be very glad you did.
New Directions and Family Communication Center are
committed to helping build and improve the Fresno
community. As long as people sign-up together, regardless
of their relationship, the discount will be allowed.
Matt
- Matt Perelstein, New Directions Instructor
(916) 599-8597
matt@2GetHelp.com
p.s. - Returning Graduates are now only $99 (50% off).
New Directions teachings are based on the Cognitive – Affective – Behavioral
approach used by many therapists. Workshops have been
held here in Fresno and throughout California. A spin-off
of this workshop has been adopted into the California
State Prisons. John Fisher, LCSW uses this approach
in his therapy and describes the workshop as,
Like they do on Dr. Phil, come face those
challenges and beliefs that are controlling your
life -- Get Real with us -- and we'll help you
break-through to a healthier, happier life.
Nice start on the layout - Very clean looking. Here
is my new wording. There's a bunch, so perhaps the
brochure could be 4 columns, rather than 3, thus legal
sized paper?
---------------
"
Taking Control of Your Life - The Workshop"
People Helping People
New Directions Weekend of Self-Discovery
Includes Doc Downing's popular book, which help you
understand what makes us tick.
Clear, easy-to-understand and integrate into your own life
Practical, Relationship-saving techniques to
Make sure you are Heard
Learn how to Listen, fully and completely
(one of the greatest gifts you can give!)
Your feelings and your actions will make more Sense to you
We are kind people, but we are strong, too.
start gentle & get stronger, as needed
Learn these essential new skills
Add these new tools to your emotional toolbox
There are 4 Basic Steps to Learning
1. You don't even know that you don't know
You are UnConsciously Incompetent
2. You find out that you don't know
Consciously InCompetent
3. You find out what you don't know
and start learning ways to do it different / better
Consciously Competent
4. The new behaviour or belief has become a Habit
and it becomes THE 'default' choice.
UnConsciously Competent
We have 4 rules:
Love, Care, Concern and Respect.
Many say that they felt the SAFEST they have EVER
felt, during their weekends here.
quotes
picture is attached.
make smaller
take date off it?
You make the decisions
You choose how you want to react
You know what you want
You know who you are
You are guilt- and shame-free
You don't "should" on yourself much
You even choose your emotions
and, when your emotions do get big... and they will
sooner or later... you know what to do with/about them.
When emotions get stuffed & ignored long enough,
or they are so big you cannot contain them, they WILL
come out... they have to... but whether they come out
in safe, productive, meaningful ways,
Here's a free lesson...
Taking control of your life means:
Knowing what you feel
Accepting those feelings
Expressing 'em in productive, safe & loving ways.
Dr. Phil
We basically do exactly what Dr. Phil does, only gentler.
We have the strength and the nerve and the moxy to
confront... to blast thru the walls. yet, we also have
wisdom and tools so that we don't need to do it that
way.
We don't blast down the walls, we love you enough
and make it safe enough that people can LET down the
walls. More importantly, we teach you the tools to
CHOOSE. There are unsafe people out there. In fact,
you may have people in your life right now who are
caustic and damaging. We NEED to know how to protect
ourselves, both physically and emotionally... we'll
show you how to do it emotionally. You will get to
experience true safety so you CAN choose. People who
don't KNOW they can protect yourselves often walk around
with the armor on and their guard up, just in case.
But if you KNOW you can pick-up your Anger tool, or
your Protection tool, or your Power tool anytime you
want to, you don't have to walk around protected. You
can be open and loving and caring, until such time
as the other tools are necessary. when & how much & with
whom.
Build Trust in yourself, even if you've let yourself
down in the past.
Do parts of your life feel Out of Control?
Take yourself on!
How to be intimate
emotionally present
good communicator
great listener
Strong
Wise
Helpful
Loving
Caring
Clear
Aware
EQ up.
Excerpt from the book
Assisting.
coming back as a Graduate Student
Free!
We give assistants "real" power to effect other people
Huge leap
If just starting, open your eyes to your personal issues, what you need to
work on (often not what you think)
Experienced folks
Learn how to Learn from your pain and your abuses.
Blast thru them
Take control of your issues, your thoughts and your feelings
We're not saying you will be all "fixed" after
just 1 weekend, but we will guarantee that you'll take
a huge steps in your personal growth and awareness.
and thru our assisting program, we offer the opportunity to come back to continue
your growth and to share what you've learned with others.
WARNING
This class is not for everyone.
Doc has found that:
"Whenever we feel Guilty, we will set ourselves up to be Punished."
Personal Responsibility
Big Pain in your past
Life-changing event(s)
EMFB
Feel like you love people, but they are not "getting
it"?
Do you feel unloved and unwanted?
Helping others, really making a difference in their
lives, is one of the best feelings Ever!
We want people to feel successful and valuable. And
to practice what they learned in class.
After care
Free support group, every Saturday morning
$10 Therapy group, every week
Graduation
Reunion
1/2 hour of coaching
agenda?
what did you learn?
Now what?
options, 1 is coaching
other personal growth workshops cost $500 and more.
Money-back Guarantee
Make your life "make sense"
Self-
Esteem
Awareness
Help
Worth
Growth
Man in the mirror
Understanding
How people work
what makes people tick
slack
forgiveness
Guilt Get into a better place inside you
Shame Not yours, hand it back
Anger Vent and relieve
Sad Cry and release
Depression mobilize and break-out
Contact Us
Call Carrol
Call FCC
Web
Support site
Notes to Erica
- The workshop does not include the workbook, at least
not yet.
- Yes, it's still $199 (which I think is too low.
It's price inelastic... if we raised the price, we'd
get more students)
the class can create a feeling of closeness and trust
that is so hard to find outside. After we Feel it,
it's easier to re-create it... having never felt it,
only longed for it, would harder to learn from. Come
experience the awesome feeling of SAFETY that the close
people around you are not your enemies, in fact, they
are totally On Your Side... with you... supporting
you. You know that saying, "I feel you, brother.",
well that is what we do and what we teach. People are
cheering for you, they are rooting for you, they are
crying for you, yes, even an "i love you." can
be heard now and then.
Feeling Loved and Accepted
is the most Awesome Feeling!
The model is INWVF ...... Integrity, Needs, Wants,
Values, Fulfillment.
This isn't just a lot of hype... we have been amazed
ourselves at how much difference these techniques are
making in people's lives. People loved the concepts
when we first introduced them back in 1985 and they
still work today. We have had an entire Generation
of people come thru our class. Teens that were so angry
and lost, grew up, left their parents' homes, got married,
probably had a kid... and that family is based on love,
care and concern, 'cause that's what they were "raised
with".
Some people come Assist for a weekend and don't say
a word. Not 1. But they watch, and they hear, and they
can't help but FEEL the love. The total acceptance
and encouragement and support. It's an amazing feeling
to be loved by a group. If you have never made that
happen, you owe it to yourself to try it at least once
in your life.
Matt's Story
That feeling of connectedness helped change my life,
and my hope for a fuller future. I was not a happy
kid, by any means, but when I felt what it was like
to have people TOTALLY on my Side, helping me, caring
for me, letting me cry and yell, supporting, encouraging,
cheerleading - I was hooked. The first class I went
to back in Boulder, Colorado... I was invited by
wonderful friend Sandra Adair to her graduation ceremony
of the class she just took. I went into the room,
sat down, and within 10 minutes, before the commencement
began, I got up from my chair, and started looking
for someone to sign me up. I KNEW that this was the
feeling I was looking for... and I went to their
very next class it was $465 back then. And I went
to the next class and the next and the next. I was
hooked. I brought my parents. I brought my sister.
I brought my best friend Roger. Yes, you can get
caught up in the hoopla of it all... group dynamics
are a powerful force, indeed. To be accepted by the
group is Nirvana. To be shunned or discounted or
rejected by the group -- Tragedy.
What I wanted was Strength. I wanted a clue. Gosh,
I was sooo Naive. There were just Worlds of everyday
stuff that I didn't know about life.
I did well in school, but it's like a whole piece of
my brain was missing. Such a hole.
...and the pain. I was 25 and just full of pain. Sad,
hurt, lost, angry, disappointed, unloved, uncared for,
uncommitted, unaware bone head.
and I seemed to leave a path of destruction as I went.
Broken hearts, pained parents, bewildered bosses.
I didn't even see the patterns, I just knew that this was NOT it! This is NOT
how my life is gonna go.
I refuse to accept the horror of day-to-day life.
We are kind people, but we are strong, too.
start gentle & get stronger, as needed
---
Imagine being in the same depressed, lonely space this
time next year.
See yourself 5 years from now still not living the
life you want to live… How will you feel then?
Don't you think you'll be glad you did something about
it now?
Just imagine, after the weekend, you will be able
to…
You want to feel better, don't you?
We discussed __ and __ and how that can feel that
you are in Total Control of your Life.
---
The Instructors
Recognize good stuff right away.
take what is given to you. what is offered. it's there,
just let it happen.
Ok, let's say we are working on a team.
I lead. I guide. I set the course and direction. I
say the "energy" of it all.
I want YOU ladies to support Me.
I want to be everywhere within that structure.
Your host.
cartoon, guided tour guide
personality
feelings
emotion on every page.
or talk of it
or pictures of it.
I want the site to "come alive" when you
enter…
choices of fun stuff to do
bright, hopeful, yet serious, too
I will need to step up to the plate. I will be the
limiting factor.
How to keep all those interested in helping, to help.
how do we keep them involved.
we set out the areas
you become an area manager
you get a percentage of everything in your area
be creative, let's see what you've got
we'll send people there, you sell 'em!
areas
everybody works on a percentage, including me
if you find us a grant, you get a percentage
if you send people to affiliate links, and they go, and they buy, you get a
percentage
we'll be a mall
Hot items. Sale items. Free Stuff. New stuff.
Get a grip, now!
Get some help.
not fear-based, nor guilt-based, and certainly not shame-based.
we will apologize for little, but we will go to the heart of the problem
---
Paula and Matt Perelstein have been teaching New Directions
for over 16 years. More than 1,000 people in four
states have graduated from their life-changing workshops.
Through their extensive experience, they continue
to put their hearts and minds into helping each and
every student get what they want and need. “Give
us a weekend, and we can jump-start your life!”
---
p.s. - as you probably know, we are having special
end-of-year pricing, too. Reviewers are half-price
($99) and students get discounts for signing up together
(1 fer $199, 2 fer $299, 3 fer $399). thought I'd
remind you, just in case.
---
The 12 Steps
We admitted we were powerless over __, that our lives
had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over
to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human
being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects
of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became
willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,
except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were
wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our
conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying
only for knowledge of His will for us and the power
to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these
steps, we tried to carry this message to other ___ics,
and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
---
FOR REGISTRATION OR MORE INFORMATION
PLEASE
CONTACT US.
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2002-2004 Directions Unlimited
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